Miserable in my relationship

[mahouyuki]

Well we've been dating for a bit over 4 years and for the past 2 years Ive noticed that the relationship has become.. well I guess not exactly love. He loves me so much and tells me that hes deeply in love but I just dont feel the same anymore. Hes more like a best friend that I share everything with. We always fight about stupid things; at least 3 times a week and it makes me so miserable and depressed and I know its going to be terrible for my health. When we used to fight he would always give in a say hes wrong and sorry and never raised his voice or seem angry but now he always raises his voice and fights much more aggresively.

Ive taken a 2 year gap before starting university and have lived with him for a over a year, could it be because I see him almost every hour of the day that theres no more spark? Or was I never truly in love with him? He was my first boyfriend and the only person Ive had sex with. Could it have been because of that that I felt that I was in love when it was really just a crush? I want to end the relationship because I want him to be happy and move on and I want to find someone that I know I fully love but we've tried that and we couldnt stay away for more than a day. Im always fantasising what it would be like to be dating another guy and how much better and happier I would be..

Should we end it or try to make it work?

[MerryH]

I want to end the relationship

Sounds like you've made up your mind. You asked a lot of questions in your second paragraph, but the answers don't really matter if the bottom line is that you want to break up with him. You don't really need a reason better than "I'm not in love with him anymore."

And the reason you can't stay broken up for more than a day is because it sucks to break up with someone and it feels like shit, even if you're done with the relationship. The easy thing to do is just to get back together so you don't feel bad anymore. You just have to ride it out, it gets better.

[nims]

It takes a lot of courage to end a relationship that you've invested so much time and effort into. However, MerryH summed it up well. It does sound like you have made up your mind. And IF you have, now is the time to act on it.

[cologne]

I wish we could all live lives according to our fantasies but life never really gives us that opportunity.Try to make it work,avoid the issues or occasions that lead to unnecessary argument.At times what we have is a lot better than what we admire outside to have.

[Kaius]

You've outgrown your feelings. It's only natural. He's your first love, and you are ready to move on.
Just break up and go on with your life. You know by now the relationship is going to end sooner or later.

[smackie9]

Dear you are young and as we grow we change and everything we once liked is replace with something else. After about a year and a half the "honeymoon" stage of a relationnship ends and that spark goes away. And since you starting a new chapter in your life, so is the need to move on from your relationship. Like I tell everyone, relationships will come and go in your life until you are ready to settle down. So don't feel bad what has happened because it's just natural to want a change, especially being so young. So yes end it, this relationship has run it's course.

[red_sparrow]

you know what sucks

when you're in love with someone and they're bad for you.