The ultimate fairy tale where I wore my heart on my sleeve. What is with him?

[BriBrigirl08]

I consider myself to be a decent catch. I am a petite, attractive 27 year old woman. I have been in various relationships throughout my life; I have been played my many men, treated horribly like I was their sex object, and play-toy. I have also been in good relationships too, I was married once for a period of time to a wonderful person but sadly though, my husband and I had a falling out (which is a long drawn out story). I look at stuff like this as that old adage “all good things come to an end”. I mean life goes on, and our everyday struggles can be defeated. I was with my husband for about 5 years, but only married for 3 years. Other then my husband, most of my relationships last about a month. I have been told that I have a free spirit. After my divorce I started going with guys, most were just flings and at that point in my life I didn’t care. Recently though, I got to a point where I kind of want more than just a fling. I want a relationship and I want to fall in love again. I was in an Internet chat room around Christmas time and I just randomly started chatting with this guy. He and I seemed to have a bit in common and we exchanged phone numbers that evening. He seemed very attractive and he was 30 years old (only a few months or so younger then my husband). I really thought nothing of it really. The next day though we started texting back and forth and well the texting led up to wanting to meet up in person. I had never met the guy before and he invited me to come meet him and stay with him for a few days. He lives an hour and a half from me so it’s kind of long distance. Well I took the risk and met up with him and everything went well. I feel for him, he from what I saw feel for me and staying with him for a couple days turned into staying with him for a couple weeks. Throughout the period of time the relationship turned out to be quite serious, we were saying we loved each other and he wanted me to move in permantly with him. Instead of this being just a short fling, we both fell in love during that period of time and in the scheme of things, from what I noticed, we started acting like a married couple in a since. I must say this guy is very, very emotional, he cried when I brought him a bottle of his favorite wine!! Well during the time I was with him, he wanted to know if I was talking to other guys. I told him I was, because I was seeking out people to date, but since I was with him I would keep him exclusive and not pursue anyone else. I wanted to see this work. Since we had just met though, I would still get texts from other guys and when my phone would beep, he would jump and look over to see who I was texting. I would tell him the truth if it was someone who I had been with and tell the person who had text me that I was seeing somebody or just wasn’t interested anymore. The guy who I was with in response would still get defensive and he would even show me his texting history and say something along the lines of “look no girls who I have had a fling with are texting me, you can look at my phone”. He was even more jumpy and paranoid when my husband would call regarding the fact that he owed me money or to wish me “Happy Holidays”. He seemed to not trust me when it came to stuff like that, and I don’t know why. I have been cheated on before by guys, and I have cheated on guys who I have been with, and I admitted that to him. In this relationship though, I wanted this one to work out and I would remain only faithful to him. He still seemed paranoid and tried to pry his way into my personal life (only knowing me for a couple weeks). He wanted to know EVERYTHING about me and I mean EVERYTHING. He said being completely honest is best at first and I shouldn’t hide anything from him. This made me feel kind of awkward. Well to make a long story short after my two week stay with him, he and I had to get back to work. I couple days later; I couldn’t find a scarf that I once owned. I wear a lot of cute scarves during the winter some that were gifts from family. Well, I figured I had left it at someone’s house. I later that day found out that I had left it at a guy’s house who I had slept with a couple times but nothing more. I briefly contacted him and met up with him later that in public day to get my scarf back. THAT WAS IT!! Well the guys who I was seeing whom I loved called later that day and I told him conversation wise that I met up with a person who I had been with that day ( only to be truthful with him). Before I could tell him why, he freaked out and said in a since that I cheated on him. He hung up and I didn’t hear from him for about a day. I texted him and told him I was sorry for upsetting him, but to trust me nothing happened! A day later, he texts me and says that we need to talk. I tried calling him but he wouldn’t answer. He texts me back later and says he was busy, which sounded like a dumb excuse. A day later, that night, he calls me really late at night, but I was asleep (tired from crying over him). I tried calling him the next morning and finally get a hold of him. I ask him why he had been dodging me when he was the one who wants to talk and again he says he was busy or hanging out with friends, or drinking too much (all which are sorry excuses, I am NOT stupid). He says in our conversation that I broke his heart and he thought I cheated on him. I gave him my side of the story and told him that I wanted my scarf back from the other person. He kind of blew me off and said he needed more time to think and he will get back to me. He finally does LATER that day by sending me a text saying that we should meet up again. I tell him that is fine and we set up a time. The day we are supposed to meet, at the last minute he flakes with some stupid excuse. I send him a text telling him I am tired of the games and if he wants to break this off I need to know so we can see other people. He replies telling me not to and he doesn’t want to break it off, he wants to be with me. I say okay and set up another time to meet, and as usual he flakes. This time I am upset and tell him that this is his last chance or I am breaking this off. LATER that night, he calls me and says he has been AFRAID to meet and that is why he has been blowing me off but he is sorry and still wants to meet and he misses me. I pretty much say let’s talk tomorrow, and he says okay. Well the next day I try to contact him through, and his sorry excuse for not wanting to talk is he is really sick. This was our last conversation which happened earlier today. I get fed up and send him a text that sounds like this:
Me: Hey I am tired of your games. I don’t know why your or doing this to me or what you are trying to do. You obviously don’t want to meet or talk and I respect that. All I want to know is if we are going to be together then we need to take the time to communicate to make this work. If we are not going to be together and you want to see other please let me know, so I can delete your number from my phone and move on with someone else locally.
Him: I am not doing anything. I’m just not feeling good. And am gonna take a nap. Listen to me everything is okay. Do not worry.
Me: So answer me this? Are we still together?
Him: Yes we are!
Me: And I am not worried! I just want to move on, whether it be with you or someone else……………
Him: NO!! I JUST AM NOT FEELING WELL!! Give me a break. It’s not over! I still want you!
Him: Stop it! You don’t have to move on! You have me! Please do not over think this, I want you still, I’m just not feeling well today.
And that was my last conversation. I am ultimately confused on what to do from here. I really like this guy and yes I think I love him. We do have a lot in common and I would like to be with him. I just hate the drama! What did I do wrong? I don’t know if he is playing games with me? Or if he is confused or being just plain stupid? Is he being scared? Should I just dump him and delete his phone number and move on? I really don’t want to have to do this and is there any way this relationship can be saved? Can someone help me here? I consider myself a good catch, I like this guy but I don’t like being played. Can someone tell me what is going in his world.

[smackie9]

There are some guys that are insecure and jealous. You don't need that. Make sure this gets put on your red flag list of the type of guy not to date.

[SelflessnHumble]

Geez, and I thought my posts were long!!!

You've got a problem and it's a deal breaker for many many people who don't want to deal with YOUR baggage...
One, I'm not sure what your "stats" have to do with your issue? (There's an introduction area for that)
Two, you want to make the transition from being a **** buddy with seemingly NSA sex (with people you don't know well) to someone who "kinda' wants more than that now? K.

Consider that you are reaping what you have sown. And due to your choices: the stigma of being labeled a "ho" is apparent in your choices of men-even the latest guy.
Have you ever wondered why your relationships ALL FAIL and only last about a month? I know why and I don't even know you.

You make shit decisions when it comes to men.
This last guy: you met a complete stranger and one who is seemingly hypersensitive...
You met a complete stranger, "hit it off" and had sex with this stranger. Over time you find out more about each other (the back asswards way of how normal people meet other normal people)
and what a shocker: there is yet another problem here to deal with.

A woman who is a "good catch" (attractive) a free spirit, played with like a sex toy, and have also cheated is going to run into problems like clockwork due to your decisions,
actions and negative point of view that "all things end." This <------------is a given, sure. But considering a month means you must have sex right off the bat because
you seem to think it's how to keep a man? That's what it sounds like to me...If you sleep with a guy right away: he loses respect for you immediately before even knowing you!

It sounds to me like he's got hickies that need to disappear before he can see you, it might be my ghetto flashbacks but why haven't you gone to see him? Is it the distance?
Sick or no sick it IS a poor excuse if I'd ever heard one. Surprise him and see him, but consider this: you screwed this relationship from having a chance because of your choices...

You need a strong, alpha male type of guy who doesn't get butthurt when you CHOOSE to surround yourself with multiple sex partners that STILL contact you.
A nice guy would explode full of rage, anger and sadness...

You honestly shouldn't have ties to your exes as you do (This is called baggage) to a normal guy. Ask yourself:

Why did the relationship(s) end?
Why are you still friends?
Why do they still contact you? Do you contact them?
Have you ever gone back to one just for sex? How many?

WHY do you need these exes to still be in your life?

THESE ^^^ and more you haven't revealed here are deal breakers for any normal man who simply wants HIS girl to be his girl.
Don't plan on having ANY real, serious and meaningful relationships while you continue to surround yourself with people you've slept with!

[xxazurexx]

You honestly shouldn't have ties to your exes as you do (This is called baggage) to a normal guy...

I agree with this.

I think anybody would get pissed and if they met someone who claimed to want to be exclusive, yet had exes they bedded constantly ringing. What the heck does this say about you??

Most people want exclusive and so you are exclusive to them - this doesn't include men you slept with from a dating site and you told this guy they were all men ringing who you had slept with previously....DUHHHHH and LOL

I'm also wondering why the 'scarf', A piece of cloth bothered you that much, that you had to return for it?? Is it studded in diamonds or something??

Not only that, but you go on to tell the new guy in your life that you went to an exes house to get your scarf back, LOL!!!

I'm forming an impression you are an 'attention whore'.....you love attention from men and many men at one time.

I'm not surprised this guy ran for the hills....or the others too, if this is the way you act when in a relationship.

[SelflessnHumble]

I'm also wondering why the 'scarf', A piece of cloth bothered you that much, that you had to return for it?? Is it studded in diamonds or something??

Not only that, but you go on to tell the new guy in your life that you went to an exes house to get your scarf back, LOL!!!

This stands out at me like tits on a bull!
I mean I had an ex (very sexual) leave her thong, yes her thong at my house...in addition to her jewelery and other crap...
The honest reason she did this was: So she'd have a reason to go back there!!!! Oh yeah, and she did.

[Undecided]

I consider myself to be a decent catch.

But that's not up to you to decide, now is it? It's up to the men who are deciding whether or not they want a *relationship* with you.

I am a petite, attractive 27 year old woman.

This doesn't make you a decent catch nor does it make you *relationship* material. It makes you **** material. Nothing more.

I have been told that I have a free spirit.

This isn't good. Most guys don't want an addled woman who is difficult to deal with, or a woman who may cheat on them because she was just "going with the flow".

He was even more jumpy and paranoid when my husband would call regarding the fact that he owed me money or to wish me “Happy Holidays”.

Hey honey, I have a little hint for you... people don't refer to their ex-husbands as "my husband"....

I think it's clear why this guy left...

He seemed to not trust me when it came to stuff like that, and I don’t know why.

Because your phone is ringing off the hook with all these guys who have stuck their penis in you...

In this relationship though, I wanted this one to work.

I hate to break it to you... but your ability to make future *relationships* work correlates negatively with: cheating in the past, being divorced, having lots of sex partners, staying in contact with ex's, etc.

There's also the desirability effect... you might want the relationship to work, and you might in fact be sincere, but a guy is gonna look at your resume and toss it.

If I was getting to know a girl and all these guys kept calling her phone, a few things run though my head:

1) I have a lot of competition. This is bad. I don't want competition, not because I'm insecure, but because if she keeps all this competition around and is judging and weighing all these guys, then it means I'm just a slab of meat and she doesn't appreciate and like ME. I'm just an option? No, I'm not anymore. Adios.
2) She's easy. I'll probably try to sleep with her as early as possible and then never call her again.
3) She's rude to be talking to all these other guys when I'm trying to court her.

Either way, none of that correlates positively to us have a *relationship*.

Nothing you've said about yourself shows that you are in any way shape or form relationship material. Sorry that's just how it is. You're tainted goods, spoiled, used up, and garbage. This happens to a lot of women: They whore around in their late teens and throughout their twenties... then comes the big Three Zero and they want to settle down with a nice guy who will love them. Unfortunately, the meet with a bitter reality that not even nice guys want a used up sex toy.