Thought things were going to work out...for a little bit

[Legato]

We broke up about 3 months ago. We had little contact with each other during those times. Sometimes, I would initiate, sometime she would. But I left for a bout 3 weeks to go home for Christmas break. When I came back, we started to hang out some. When we did, it was great...it was like we never missed a beat. The last time we hung out, it was like we had gotten that spark back. She works a lot so I kept the evening short and let her go to bed. We had gone out to dinner early that evening. I was going to be in her area two days later and let her know this and asked if I could stay with her. She said she thinks she is going out that night but I was welcome to go out with her. So that day comes around and I call twice and text twice. Can't get a response from her.

She finally texts me back "sorry I have been sick all day" so I ask her if I should still come over. No response. Haven't talked since...

She has been very push-pull and very sketchy lately and I can't deal with it anymore. It seems that all she does is work (which is fine) and go out with her friends (which is also fine) but she always leaves me hanging. I want to tell her that I am done chasing her and it's either one way or the other. I can't be friends with her anymore. I want to tell her this but I don't want to ruin any progress I have made with her. I may be reading to deeply into things but it's still driving me crazy.

And before you post "forget her you pussy and move on," don't. If you want to explain to me what you think is goin on then go right ahead. I'm all ears...but I need help.

[IncognitoSir]

To be honest, what she's doing is literally playing with your emotions. She gives you hope then later she retracts it. You're at the point that you don't feel comfortable telling her exactly how you feel for fear of losing any ground you've gained. I see where you're coming from. You can't wait around for her to decide the future. I wouldn't say walk away from her altogether but just move on with your life.......that doesn't mean there cant be a future for you two somewhere down the life. What's going on now is very hurtful for you and you shouldn't put yourself thru that, for anyone! We people are sketchy like that, it's NEVER for a good reason. She's either, purposely blowing you off and ignoring you or dating someone else. Neither of those options benefit you at all and apparently she has no intent of informing you.

[Legato]

Thanks. I plan on sending a letter to her telling her pretty much my view of our whole situation but I'm going to wait a week or two before I send it. What if I am just over thinking this and the letter just pushes her away? I really don't think she is dating someone else. I don't think she would do that to me...but I have been wrong before. She is just sketchy natured like that. I noticed during our relationship...even with her friends and family. She is moving to a different place in early Feb. and she asked for my help. If I get nothing from her then, then I am moving on.

[Nineball]

i was in the exact same position. we were trying to work things out as well. we would hang out, and then the next day or two she would act like she didn't even know me. a constant push/pull on my emotions. but i knew she was seeing someone else, this is why she wasn't giving me 100%. not saying your ex is seeing someone else, but it was for my case. anyway, long story short, i confronted her about it. it was either him or me. she asked for me to give her 1 week to decide. she ended up calling me 2 days later and cried her eyes out that she only wanted to be with me. we are back together now and things are going great.

[Legato]

Well lucky you man! that's great. It really is. I had to talk to my ex today as I was miserable as to what was going on between us. I needed to just tell her how I feel...and I finally got the chance to. I told her almost everything that I could think of. She said she had gone on some dates but was not seeing anyone. Afterwards, I felt there was a giant weight lifted off of my shoulders. I feel like I got closure and can finally move on. I sent her the letter through FB and then unfriended her. I know it's going to be rough but this is the first time I can actually envision myself with someone else or at least happy again.

See, my ex did not realize what she was doing to me. It really seemed like she did not know at all that I still had strong feelings for her still. Will we get back together someday? Who knows? Right now, it's not what's important. I told her that I was sorry that I couldn't be there for her whenever she needs me (and I think she will) but I need to do this. Break completely away from her so I can let go.

I am happy for you man, You need to share your story with other people. I think too many people just go NC and play the waiting game. Sure it may work, but sometimes you need to put yourself out there. It's the only way I got any closure and am able to move on and go NC for MYSELF. So glad I did this.