Does she really love me? Please help!

[confused_guy_b]

Hello my name is Brian. I have a different sorta story here which I need advice on before I destroy my relationship.

First of all I am a love addict and together a with 36 year old woman whom is 8 years older then me. Our son Nicholas just turned 1 year old 12/29. I have been having problems with my fiancee for a long time now and I have been trying to change my attitude towards everything for the better of the relationship.

Anyways she has 4 children one of which is mine and another reason I am trying to make this relationship work. She cares for the youngest 2 boys about half the time and the other half the older girls (10 & 14) will watch the boys (1 & 2) and/or care for them.

Her oldest daughter (14) I have had a lot of problems. None of the children have a dad except for my son and I think the oldest has a problem with me because I am a bit stricter then she is and she thinks none of the children have a father except my son and maybe shes a little jealous that her father doesn't care as I do. My fiancee tells me that she wishes I would work things out with her but it's really hard. Her 2 year old son and I have a great relationship and I would really like to become his dad and she is already trying to get him to call me dad, I have been there practically since he was born.

Before I had my son with her I had a child with another woman whom is 3 and we had a lot of problems due to the fact that my ex and I couldn't get along at all. When our relationship did suffer some problems I got back together with my 3 year old's mom because I wanted to be with my child above all others. My fiancee loved me when these things were going on. She understood that I just wanted to be with my child and I can understand there might have been some damage done to us due to this.

She has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and myself am diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Another reason I want to be sure what I am doing is right.

It started about 2 years ago a year into our relationship things seemed to change within her. She doesn't call me anymore at all. She always makes up excuses and lies to me for reasons she doesn't want to see me. Her most recent excuse for not allowing me to come over was that she has to cook dinner.

We just got back together a little over a week ago and I can't seem to get things back to the way they were. She tells me she wants to marry me but we cannot afford it right now and there is nothing more I would want in this world. 50% of it is my son however. I don't want to be a part-time dad and my son loves me very much.

I always think she doesn't love me. I never get sex anymore which she puts off on the children but most of the time she is too tired and I am okay with that. That isn't a problem. The main problem is she never calls me, she doesn't want me there very often. She makes small white lies all the time excusing her from seeing me and it drives me nuts. I told her before we got back together that there is several things we need to work on lying being one and she hasn't changed one bit.

I love her so much and I have broken up with her a few times over this same issue. I just want to be loved and that is not asking a whole lot. When I am at her house I do anything and everything for her so her cooking dinner shouldn't be an issue especially when I would cook it myself anytime she asked it of me. I spoil her. Besides we should be working on being a real family right? She wants to marry me. I am so confused.

Any questions or comments are welcome. I really need help please anyone. Thank you for taking your time to read over my situation.

[warriormaiden]

Aww. The baby so cute! Look at that head of curly hair! Just wanna dunk him in my coffee. Beautiful. XD

Sounds like she's having second thoughts about the relationship, and just needs some space.

[confused_guy_b]

Yeah I was thinking the same thing.

I called her a little while ago and she talked to me alright until I told her that she hurt my feelings and she went ape shit on me. I told her to tell me she doesn't love me and to just let me move on because I have such a hard time breaking up with anyone. She got all immature and screamed it at the top of her lungs.

It's going to be very hard for me to move on... please if anyone else has advice.

PS: Thanks warriormaiden. In the pic that is her son Gabriel. Hes 2 years old now and I am going to lose him too. I just wish I could see my son Nicholas everyday. It's no fair being born with a penis.

[confused_guy_b]

You people suck. Thanks a bunch for the help. I am not helping anyone on here anymore. Peace.