Complicated LDR story - He suddenly doesn't want to meet!

[j6j6j6j6j6]

Well, here's my story.
I recently met a boy online that is just.. the right person for me. He is something like... my soul brother. He's funny, cute, has a lovely personality and we have the same interests. We met each other online, and been talking through skype for more than 2 months. I swear I've never felt happier than these 2 past months. And all this time he's been telling me how much he likes me and how much he wants to be with me, etc. And after I had persuaded my parents about going to see him -He's from another country, I told my parents it was a language exchange- the boy decided he wasn't so sure about it and he had to think about it.

Well, he told me he really thought I was the one for him, but he wouldnt be able to keep up with the distance, and he thought he didn't want to meet me because then he'd fall inlove with me and we wouldn't be able to be with each other all the time,and it'd make things even worse and painful.

And well, my whole world broke apart when he told me so. My parents already knew about him, so did my friends, I was used to speak to him everyday, he was helping me with my language homework, and well, what can I say...nothing made me happier than him : (
I didn't want to give up on him because I thought he was probably just confused about it, so I mailed him trying to convince him... and I sent him bits of our conversations, and I made him a very cute funny video about our relationship (I might upload it for you all to see : D) and well... He still hasn't changed his opinion.

The funny thing is.. this has happened in only a week. I mean, last monday we were perfect, he was telling me I was the most amazing person in the world and that he wouldnt change me for anyone else, and then next day just when I was about to book the flights... HE WAS CONFUSED? and then I gave him some time but he finally said this friday that he thought the best for us was not to meet. But I can't believe that.He's just too amazing for me to let him go : ( He claims that we'd have to wait more than 5 years -until I or him finishes university- to finally be together, so its not worthy the bad times missing each other. But there are erasmus -one year in his country, another one in mine- and I can travel there every holiday!

I mailed him saying that I wanted to know if I should stop mailing him and trying to convince him, if I should give up and try to move on and forget him, or if he wanted to speak, or whatever, but he just didn't mail me back.
Not even to say " Leave me alone, fool!" haha , And the only thing that he said about the video was... "Its making me even more confused" And damn it, all my friends that I've shown the videos say its the most cutest thing ever someone can do for their lover xD

I just don't know what to do : ( Should I just give up and forget about him? Should I give him some days? He just doesnt say anything about it so I dont know! He also told all his friends about me and that we'd meet, so it was a serious thing for him too... And I think that if I stop talking and letting him know that "Im here thinking of you!" he'll probably say no : (, he leads a very busy day so I dont think he has time at all to miss me.-

More information: I've had a long distance relationship before and it took time for 2 years. We saw each other every holiday and it was nice, so I think they do work. And you get to do tourism for cheap, learn languages, and have an amazing time as you make native friends xD

But this boy is just stupid How can someone change his mind so easily?
Thank you for your advices.

[curly1118]

Sounds like he might be hiding something from you and is scared that if you came to see him you might find out what it is he is hiding. He has no reason to be confused.

[xxazurexx]

Perhaps he was using his best friends pics to talk to you.
Maybe he was chatting to you along with other girls and he found a girl he prefers.
Maybe he just likes to know, that there are girls out there who are besotted with him.
Maybe he just likes to play with and toys with the feelings of females.
Maybe he has a 'real life' girlfriend and she found out about you.

Could be anything.....

And when you ask 'Should I just give up and forget'?

Seems you have no choice - appears he's left and forgot about you.

[Liam_680]

I say give him time to think things through and wait for him to be ready to decide. this time off can be a good time for you to think about things as well and what you think is good for you to do if he decides to stop everything. Life goes on..

[qwertz]

I say LDR's in other countries hardly ever works, so regardless just forget about him.

[j6j6j6j6j6]

I know he hasn't got anyone else, and I know he is HIM- we used to speak through skype- so that's not the thing. And I know he really cares...
Otherwise he wouldn't have told his friends about me. It's just that.. he knows he won't marry me and we won't move together and something like that, and he thinks its pointless to start something with no future. But you never know! We may be the one for each other... The world is full of funny stories like that, isn't it?
But... he is the one who wanted me to meet him so badly.
I might just upload the video for you all to see and understand the story better.
All I think about is him now
Anyway, is there any site that I can upload the video to so it doesnt ruin the sound with the copyright stuff?

[xxazurexx]

If he has been a genuine guy and he really liked you, he's gonna miss you eventually and it's going to be hard for him and without you around.

Just give him some space and see what happens next.

[j6j6j6j6j6]

Well, thats how he feels... He in fact broke up with his last partner because the distance.. and it was only 1 hour by train, haha. I guess it's hard for him, but I know he wants to.
He actually talked to me today, -stopped ignoring me, great!- he asked how were my exams, if everything was okay, and when I asked him if there was still a chance for us...
he said "I don't know yet"
I mean, if he didn't want me around he'd just say no, wouldnt he? Should I be worried? Should I just leave him sometime? Or maybe try to speak to him about other stuff like we did before the meeting topic was around...
My friends told me that yeah, he's really amazing and perfect for me, but he isn't taking the same effort as me on this and I deserve someone better who actually has no doubts -and maybe live closer-... But I like him
He's exactly that kind of boy who only shows up in american romantic films - plays the piano, the guitar, sings, A++ student, cute, lovely, works, goes to uni, drives, amazingly good-looking and funny, fluent in several languages...and well, just the perfect guy -you don't find one of these everywhere! haha- and its not only all that, but the way he makes me feel. When I see how great he is, he makes me want to study harder, to help others, to become a better person and he definitely is the kind of boy I want. Somebody who can actually teach me stuff, somebody who I can have a decent conversation with and somebody I'd be proud of. He really is worthy I think.

I've got the feeling that if things dont work with him and he finally doesnt want to meet... any other boy I meet will be compared in my mind to him. He isnt just a boy I like but the guy of my dreams -before even I knew he existed out of my imagination! haha-

[xxazurexx]

The way I look at it is, a guy either wants you or he doesn't. If he really wanted to be with you, there would be no doubt in his mind.
If this was a guy who was 'wishy washy' in regard to me, I'd politely tell him to eff off. Sorry, but I just wouldn't wait around on a guy who had to think about whether he wanted me or not. Life is to short.

When guys are wishy washy like this and they don't know if they want you or not, it makes me wonder and if there is another new love interest and they are keeping you on hold and to see what happens with her.

And what the heck made you get involved with a guy who did the same to his ex gf??

And ask yourself why this guy would get involved with females in other countries and KNOWING he probably wasn't going to see it through to the end.

There is something 'dodgy' about this guy.

[j6j6j6j6j6]

wouldn't he told me if there were someone new? When we only knew each other for a week or so, and I met another boy, -just to see each other, make a friend and that- but I told the "special boy" about it, and he said that he really appreciated honesty and it was very nice from me telling him. So... I expect he would do the same? I actually asked him if there was someone else and he said no..
He actually told his ex gf that.. wether she moved closer to him or he'd put an end to them... and she did move, but after 8 months it stopped working.
And yes, he already asked me to move over there and do my university there, haha. Maybe he's just a little bossy..
I think he just let himself go crazy about me, but when he saw that it was starting to get serious.. he thought that the same would happen to him and he wouldnt stand the distance. But I really do like him! I mean, I'm not asking him to marry me or anything, I just want to go this april to his house as planned and stay there some days, get to know the country better, the language, the folks and get to know him better and well, if something starts between us that'd be good, and if not I'd have had a great time over there and made a friend too. I just can't see where the problem is! haha

[xxazurexx]

wouldn't he told me if there were someone new? When we only knew each other for a week or so, and I met another boy, -just to see each other, make a friend and that- but I told the "special boy" about it, and he said that he really appreciated honesty and it was very nice from me telling him. So... I expect he would do the same? I actually asked him if there was someone else and he said no..

People are not always as honest as you may be. Some might tell you, some would keep it secret and fail to mention a new love interest and because they don't want to hurt you.
You would expect him to do the same...but he isn't you.

But, I was guessing that there may be a new girl, I could be wrong.

So I'm assuming he no longer wants you to visit him? Kinda odd.....maybe he is embarrassed and for you to see his home because it's a shit hole, lol

I dunno...there is just something 'odd' about a guy who goes for women online, then backs out at the last minute and even backs off when the girl offers to go and see him.

Perhaps he's incapable of having a 'real life' romance and online flings are 'safer'