The Guy Code/Advice to help my ex boyfriend get over me?

[Mangochan]

Before I start, I'd like to point out that my ex broke up with me. Not the other way around. Yet, he had a change of heart (like he did so many times in our 2 year relationship) and started wanting me back after I had decided I was sick of his flip-flops. There have been many times where he's pulled me outside when we were hanging with mutual friends to beg me to take him back. It's even worst when he's drunk. I told him clearly it's over. I stopped talking to him and seeing him. (It's hard now that school has started [I am in my 3rd year of school and he's in his 4th] as we have obligations to the same group) I am trying to keep this up, but every time he sees me, he has something to say/apologize for/ask me.

Recently, it has been about a friend of his. When my boyfriend and I broke up in late October, this friend was kind of seeing a girl we were all friends with. But she started seeing her ex that she broke up with for this guy, so he left that situation. Since I knew that whole situation before a lot of other people, I let him vent and helped him through it. And when things started getting annoying with my ex, he let me talk to him about it. I liked talking to him because my ex also talked to him so he could see both sides of the story and was very impartial and wouldn't tell me what I wanted to head like my friends would.

Well, us talking soon developed into flirting. Very subtle at first, but over the months, it grew until it was starting to get noticeable. He lives an hour away from my school as he recently graduated and moved, so it was more noticeable in texts and talks online. During the winter break, I visited the school to help out with a play my housemate was putting on. Both my ex and this guy came to the show and after party. My ex got drunk, cornered me and started yelling at me at 5 am. The guy (let's call him Andrew) had been flirting with me quite noticeable (in my opinion) all night so I sort of let him comfort me.

After that, I stopped talking to my ex completely. And started talking to "Andrew" more. When i was heading up to school for good, he invited me to stop at his place on the way up to grab lunch, even though he was planning on coming up to watch a movie later that night. I did and he came up later. He left after the movie to hang out with my ex and started texting me all night, drunkenly admitting he liked me but he didn't want to do anything because of the ex.

I understood and since I was enjoying being single, I wasn't too distraught. It was nice to have someone like me and flirt with me. But the more we talked, the more I started liking him. The next time he came up we went out to dinner. My ex had already questioned both of us about our relationship (he's the only one out of our friends who seemed to notice). After dinner, my ex invited both of us to his house. I thought it would be ok since it was just a pregame. It wasn't.

He pulled Andrew outside and asked about us again. Andrew, trying to be a good friend, admitted that there had been a mutual attraction but we hadn't pursued because we knew he'd be upset about it. He still pulled me outside later and asked me about it. I was drunk and got upset, so I decided to leave then and head to a friends house. Andrew walked me there and we confirmed that the situation sucked.

The next day Andrew and I hung out again. For a long time, it was casual, but then we started cuddling and after long, tense hours, it resulted in a kiss. Though my ex has promised to stop bringing it up, I don't think it'll happen.

I know that was long but: Ex who broke up with me can't get over me, how can I get him to? I would love for him to meet another girl but he doesn't seem willing.
I like a mutual friend of mine and my ex's.
Mutual friend likes me too.
Is this bad/against the guy code?
If it was, if this was only a physical attraction, would he have given up? Does he probably like me more than that?

Thanks!

[smackie9]

You are free game to anyone and the only reason this guy is hesatent is because of your ex's bad behaviour. Time to tell your ex to butt out of your life and get one of his own. I suggest not attending any partyies where he is at and lay low for awhile. If you spend any time with the new guy, spend it away from the prying eyes of the ex and your mutual friends until your ex finally gets that you have moved on for good.

[girl68]

It's sooo not up to you. Get on with life either agree to see Andrew or cut back and look elsewhere. In TIME, your ex will bugger off.

[HeartIsAching]

Yep. Stop trying to control your ex's destiny.

Tell him in no uncertain terms that it's over. He had his shot, and flubbed it, and you've moved on. And DO move on. If he won't get the message, you should probably not as previously mentioned attend parties where he'll be in attendance.

[Mangochan]

Thanks for your advice guys. I'm not sure what you meant by trying to control his destiny...but the rest I'll take to heart an hope it works.