Long story, but need advice from a male.

[bodawner]

So i am engaged to a man who was great at first. Then he moved in. Let me outline each of our days.
Mine-5:30 am get up. Get myself ready, make son breakfast, wake son up, fed him, pack his lunch, get him ready for school, deal with our dog, 7 am leave, I work 8-4. Around 5 pm i get home, tidy up mornings mess, deal with dog, make dinner, clean up from dinner, help with homework, get showered, get son cleaned up and ready for bed, go to sleep...
My fiance's day---sometime between 7 and 8, rolls out of bed, gets dressed, goes to work, comes home around 330, plays games and drinks beer until i get home. Lays on couch and watches tv, gets off couch, goes to bed. Some weeks he will not shower for 3-4 days. Weekends, i spend them cleaning and doing laundry. I have a dog, a 9 year old, and a baby on the way in 7 more weeks. He lays on the couch, plays games and drinks beer. He also goes bowling. Fine, but no i'm huge and don't really want to go. Not to mention i don't drink so i'd rather sit at home alone because he will get shit faced.
Upon bringing any of this up, he gets all defensicve and acts like a child.
Any advice. At this point he's on his way out the door. If he thinks i'm mean...well....i sure can be.
I also want to add that he doesn't get sex alot. Im tired and pregnant, he's dirty and lazy..I recently caught him on some online dating sites. When i questioned it he said he didn't know his passwords, so i went into his account with the passwords i had from his email and read him back his recent messages...one from only a week before. i told him this was cheating. he said he just wanted some nudie pics. I told him its cheating, and try porn next time...even sent him a link. WTF is wrong with this guy. I don't think he's ready to grow up yet.

[OkieDokie]

I don't think he's ready to grow up yet.

That about sums it up in a nice way.

Was he like that from the get go of him moving in or even prior to him moving in, or did it evolve to that?

I just couldn't even imagine acting/living like that EVER, let alone while raising children.

[bodawner]

I didn't notice it as much at first. After a while it just started to really bug me. He drank a lot more but would help a bit. Now if i don't tell him to do it, he wont, and if he does do it, its half ass so i end up re-doing it anyways. The first time he ever did dishes., he almost cried cause his mom was standing there. I know that i go overboard with my cleaning sometimes but i enjoy having a clean home. He will bitch that he has nothing to show for his paychecks. Well neither do i buddy..i work all day too. I"m honestly at my wits end because i will have one child who is 9, a newborn, and don't want a 34 year old one. Grrr...Thanks for reading...

[curly1118]

A lot of men disgust me and make the rest of, us who actually put an effort into our relationships, look bad.

It's hard to say or give advice as I have not been in a relationship where kids were involved. But if I took the kids out of the equation I would say to get rid of that good for nothing. He shows signs of cheating, he doesn't give a shit about your living space, he doesn't help even though you're damn pregnant.

Yeah. I wouldn't stick around just to see it get worse. =\

[lovenInsp]

You have all the red flags on front of you.

[QuietProfession]

i honestly dont understand how looking up porn isnt cheating, but mining a dating site for nudiepics is? i guess it doesn't matter though

male perspective: i think its time you guys split. you got kids from a previous relationship and hes not getting laid so hes completely detached from your relationship.

btw did you notice the drinking before you moved him in...? if so then the only person you have to blame for that situation is yourself.

[Boisdevie]

The guy is a dick. Why put up with him?

[bodawner]

The difference i see between porn dating sites...is porn is already done and he has zero part in it. Chatting with women in attmept to get pics is really bad as far as i'm concerned. I couldn't care less if he's looking at porn. I get he has needs and i''m not exactly taking care of that part. I thought he drank socially. But once he moved in, it seemed to be constantly. Nightly for a while. Then he'd hide it and i busted him, and made a huge deal about it. He doesn't do it as much now, but goes looking for excuses.
Meh i think i know what i have to do.
Thanks guys for your advice.

[girl68]

Upon bringing any of this up, he gets all defensicve and acts like a child.

One mistake:
calling him a child when you bring it up. Correction: he's always acting like a child.

Wait a second... 2 mistakes. Second one? Saying yes to his proposal. What a peice of lazy, nasty trash he sounds like.

[bodawner]

And more fun. So after fighting with him for the last few days he informs me that while I am off from my paying job to take care of a baby, he doesn't expect to have to do anything except go to work. I just about lost it. I had to leave the room. What a jerk. Really? I wonder how its gonna feel when I throw his stupid ass out of MY house then go after him for child support. I told him if he wants a mother to take care of him he could always move home. Now he's all mad. What mad cause as soon as dinner was finished u be-line back to the couch and I called u on it. Moron. Ya I'm sooooo ready to be done with him. Baby or not!

Sorry everyone. I had to vent.

[curly1118]

Hey no worries. Honestly it could probably be better for the kids too. I mean, they don't need that influence. And on top of that, parents fighting SUCKS. I'm so glad my parents got divorced when I was little. I saw them fight a few times. I'm just glad I didn't see it on a daily basis.

But yeah. Glad to see you've made your decision.