I need to vent.

[ashley89]

I'm just thinking back on my relationship with my ex and I need to vent about some things that pissed me off. You guys don't have to read this whole thing, I just wanna get it off my chest. You can tell me what you think if you feel like it.

• One time we went to a party at his friend's house. We drank alot, and were pretty drunk by the end of the night. At one point during the party, he lent me his keys to go to his car and get my camera so I could take pictures. I guess in my drunken stupor, I accidentally dropped the keys in his friend's yard somewhere. When we went to leave, he couldn't find his keys, so we wound up looking for them for awhile. He was really angry and kept shouting at me, in front of people, and at one point he kinda grabbed my hair. It made me so upset, and I could never really forget about it after it happened, even though he apologized profusely and said he was just really drunk and would never do that again.

• For our one year anniversary, I booked us a room at a hotel nearby (I paid for the entire hotel myself, by the way, as I did for almost anything we did.) I was very excited to spend the night with him, and I had looked forward to this anniversary for awhile! He had to work 7-2 so we went after he was done. Things started out fine, but he was "cranky" which was one of his many excuses he had when he got "tired". This kid took naps like a 3 year old, and if he didn't, he acted extremely rude and irritable. Anyways, he started acting rude to me for no reason, kept snapping at me, then when I got quiet and withdrawn, he started acting like an asshole saying that I should just yell back at him and I needed to stop being so sensitive. So I spent $50 on a nice hotel room and spent most of the night laying on the bed crying to myself. Oh, and we went to have sex, and we went to do a position where I had to crouch down so he could go in from behind. I couldn't do it right because it felt uncomfortable, and when I said it hurt, he got mad and said "yeah, it always does, what else is new." I tried to continue to have sex but I couldn't enjoy it because I was so hurt and upset. Happy 1 year anniversary! I could never get that out of my mind either, how he ruined our first (and last) anniversary together. The douche.

• I never hesitated to do anything with his family, whether it be a holiday, going out to dinner, etc. Anytime something involved getting together with my parents, he bitched and whined. I invited him to go to an Oktoberfest a few months back, he promised he would go, then took off and went to his friend's girlfriend's college (they are 23 years old and dating freshman in college) and didn't come. My dad invited him to come out to a bar to get wings for his birthday. He said he would come, ended up going to a friend's house, said he "forgot", and didn't want to go because the place gets too crowded. Uhhh...? Lastly, a few months ago my uncle invited us to a Christmas party at his house. I asked Eric to go, at first he said yes. As it got closer to the date, I reminded him, and he said he didn't want to go "because he doesn't like family things." He then proceeded to get mad at me because I was upset he wasn't going. Let's not forget that I left my grandma's house on Thanksgiving to go to his aunt's, I spent all of the 4th of July and Christmas day with his family, and I always went out to dinner with him and his parents. He came to eat with my parents maybe... I don't know... 3 times?

• My next story involves that last incident about the Christmas party. So the day he said he wasn't going to go I was still upset. We went to his friend's house and drank. I ended up drinking too much (mostly because I was mad at him and didn't give a shit about anything that night) and on the way home, I felt sick. I had to throw up, so I rolled the window down to throw up, but some came back in and got in his car. I felt really bad about this, but it was a complete accident. It happens. He was practically crying because he's obsessed with his car, and he was yelling at me. He didn't talk to me for 12 hours, ignored my texts and calls, and when he finally picked up, gave me an attitude and bitched about how he had to get his car washed. It was an accident, I already felt horrible and even offered to get it cleaned for him.

• The last incident I'm going to tell is right before we broke up. Things had been OK, and he came over cause we hadn't seen each other for a few days. He immediately seemed different, was giving one worded answers and acted quiet. We went out to do errands, he kept bitching at me about little things and was being a complete dick. We came back to have sex, and again some stupid thing happened when we went to switch positions where he was trying to push his dick in and it felt weird. He said "I didn't even wanna do this anyways." When I asked him about why he was acting like such an asshole, he said that he didn't wanna come over and only came to get out of his house. What the ****?

Writing this makes me actually pissed off. Wow.

[sweetkissesforu]

Ashley be thanking your lucky stars that he is your ex dont cry over this move on your ex is a major loser asso

[MadMardegan]

Wow, what a ****ing prick (excuse the language)

You seem so much better than him.

Don't dwell on this. You're better off without him.

There's someone out there who'll treat you right.

[ashley89]

Hahaha thanks that makes me feel better I think so too. I forgot the worst story of them all! So over the summer we took a weekend trip to rhode island. We were gonna stay a few days, go to the beach and casino etc. The thing I wanted to do most was the beach! So we went one day and decided to eat as soon as we got there. We (sorry, I) paid for parking and then $17 for some hamburgers. We were waiting almost 25 mins and getting impatient. He said "I'm about to jump this counter and ask what the deal is!" I laughed thinking he was kidding. 2 secs later he actually jumped the counter and asked... Cause a big scene, the managers came out and the cops came. Kicked us out. Can't go back for a year. Over hamburgers........ Ruined my vacation. I can never forget that either.

[ashley89]

the thing that makes me mad is I knew this stuff was wrong at the time but I loved him so I made excuses or let it slide. and a few months back, I had this weird feeling where suddenly I wasn't sure if I loved him anymore and didn't think we should be together... it was a weird anxiety attack thing for a few days. but I talked myself out of it and figured it was just a phase and I didn't really mean it. looking back I now wish I beat him to the punch and just broke up with him first.

[OkieDokie]

Well I'm glad that he's your ex. No one deserves to be treated like that, well actually he does now and he'll get it, karma is a B. You'll find someone better than him and who will treat you right.

[ashley89]

:] thank you

[QuietProfession]

sorry to hear all that. my first girlfriend cut my arm open with a kitchen knife because she was crazy. i still have the scars as a reminder, but im not angry anymore. it just reminds me to look before i leap (into a relationship).

[Petit Papillon]

You know ashley , I was exactly like you and my ex was exactly like your ex. I also for some time needed to talk about it and became angry everytime I was thinking about this. But it will pass. Now I don't even remember all of the shit situations he has put me in. I don't really remember the details ,whereas short or even few months after the break up, I could tell you everything with such details like day of the week and even an hour that it happend. Now everything becomes a one big piece. Now I just remember that he was a ****ing asshole and I was an idiot for letting him do those things to me for so long. but I'm not angry anymore , I'm like "whatever".

[ashley89]

You know ashley , I was exactly like you and my ex was exactly like your ex. I also for some time needed to talk about it and became angry everytime I was thinking about this. But it will pass. Now I don't even remember all of the shit situations he has put me in. I don't really remember the details ,whereas short or even few months after the break up, I could tell you everything with such details like day of the week and even an hour that it happend. Now everything becomes a one big piece. Now I just remember that he was a ****ing asshole and I was an idiot for letting him do those things to me for so long. but I'm not angry anymore , I'm like "whatever".

it's good to know I'm not the only one who went through this! the more I look back on it, I can't believe I put up with it. love really makes you do stupid things I guess. I knew at the time it was wrong and could never forget how bad he made me feel, which should have been a sign that it wasn't going to work out. why put all my effort and energy into a relationship with a person who isn't going to treat me with respect? goodbye loser

[Petit Papillon]

Yeah. Hey , I moved abroad for my ex, just to never be visited by him and finally dropping university cause I couldn't handle all the shit I was going through. Seriously, I've spent MUCH more time with him while I was living like don't know 2000 km from him? ,comparing it to 0 while I was living just 200km apart Plus he treated me like shit of course. Love is blind, but I hope I didn't love him ,cause he definitely doesn't deserve that. MY current bf deserves much more loving and I don't know if I'll be ready to sacrifice so much again. Well , the difference is, my current bf would never let me do something that would hurt me or **** up my future. It's actually him who pushed me to go back to university and get a better future for me and actually for both of us.

[xxazurexx]

Yeah Ashley...move to UK, although I could think of better places to go, lol.

Crikey Petit that was a big leap and to move abroad away from your ex. Still...I guess it's a way to ensure that we never see or hear from them again

Wish I could afford to get out of this shithole...I'd head for Hawaii, somewhere really hot

[SelflessnHumble]

Ashley, Ashley, Ashley...oi vay!

The things we put with when he have so much invested -it's a bi-polar cycle that gets reset even when things as you said "things had been OK."
This kind of guy doesn't deserve any woman with a pulse let alone someone as genuine, intelligent and giving as you...Reading your post pissed me off too!!!

But, you should (in your mind) thank him for doing you so wrong as he did. Because he showed you and taught you exactly what to AVOID in a man!

Irresponsible, unaccountable, deflecting, selfish, imbalanced, manipulative (damaged people are really good at B-laming people) and the fact
you are so good enhances the hurt he threw upon you because he knew how it would make you feel; this was intentional.

I know he did things he shouldn't have done but see, the same way you have realized how bad he was: is the same
process HE has refused to see through to discover how he has YET to be held responsible for what he has done to you and to himself.
In the end your anger may turn to pity because you can see how he was devolved into nothingness, a choice he made on his own but cost you a relationship in the process.

I can identify how dropping keys, accidentally ruining his interior of his car can make him feel like you are some stupid dumb shit when in reality
he puts value on perfection, and on his personal possessions higher than his own relationship and the value we all see in you that he has not.

You need to let this out: and don't let a new relationship to build upon this foundation of anger, resentment even though it sounds justified.
You can do it: it is all in your mind! I've got faith in you.

[Petit Papillon]

Yeah Ashley...move to UK, although I could think of better places to go, lol.

Crikey Petit that was a big leap and to move abroad away from your ex. Still...I guess it's a way to ensure that we never see or hear from them again

Wish I could afford to get out of this shithole...I'd head for Hawaii, somewhere really hot

I actually moved abroad FOR my ex. Since then I was living a bit here a bit in Spain and now I'm back here in Germany,but also just till I get my bachelor's degree. Then I'm running away cause I can't stand living in Germany. Really, this country is depressing . Well I'm planning with my bf to move to Switzerlan, how it will work out, dunno , but I'm starting to learn french from april ,anyway I should have done the course long time ago...

[xxazurexx]

I actually moved abroad FOR my ex. Since then I was living a bit here a bit in Spain and now I'm back here in Germany,but also just till I get my bachelor's degree. Then I'm running away cause I can't stand living in Germany. Really, this country is depressing . Well I'm planning with my bf to move to Switzerlan, how it will work out, dunno , but I'm starting to learn french from april ,anyway I should have done the course long time ago...

Oh right, sorry I misread ...So you pack up and leave and the twit hardly visited? What a t*at! Still...you managed to move on, meet a new guy and things are looking good for you!

I've never been to Germany and I don't have any desire to go there. For some reason, (I could be wrong), I can imagine it being like another England, only much more grim and lousy weather the same as we have. Have you ever been to the UK before?