Confused

[Chillidorito]

Hi, I'm quite nervous about this but I'm gonna try and explain my situation as best as I can. Just over a year back I met a very nice lady online (in a popular online game), she was upset about some other players who had not been nice to her etc. Anyway I comforted her etc and we became friends. We grew incredibly close over the next weeks, to the point we'd both fallen in love. The main problems for us both were that we are both married, unhappily, with children, I'm from Engalnd, she is from Canada. Anyway, I got scared, and started not to hang with her as much, showing I didn't care I guess which was totally the opposite to how i felt really. We still talked, if we had a problem, we'd come to each other straight away. I was wanting to tell her so much how I felt, she was near pleading for me to be around her more. I wanted this, and I know it sounds hard to believe, but I was so afraid I'd drive her away by being around her too much. Reasons for this being others had walked off before, hurt me, friends, not just lovers. The thing I wanted most, was her but was also the thing I was scared of driving away by being around her (weird I know, but rejections from the past play heavily on my mind). Anyway, after a few months of this I decided enough was enough, her birthday was coming up and I was gonna just do it, jump in and commit 101%, I couldn't bear being away no longer. But just before her birthday I found out something, quite by accident. She'd found another, a lot younger than her (I'm 41, she is 40, the other man is 19). I was instantly broken, knowing what I'd done. We have talked, she won't say she doesn't love me anymore but won't leave him now. I cannot get her out of my head, it's 24/7, even before I found out. I love her to pieces, we were so close, soulmates and I let her down. I cannot forgive myself at the moment, everything is hazy, totally heartbroken, struggling from day to day to cover up my pain. I'm a man but I cry myself to sleep near every night. She really made my life so much brighter.
I'm not sure what more to type, so much I want to say, to do, for her. I want to put it all right, make her happy, show her my full feelings instead of being the scared child I was. I do not blame her for anything at all, it was my stupidity which did this, we woulda been very happy and still very much in love if I'd only shown my true feelings all the time.
I'm sure I'll get slated off some on here, I just hope some understand.

A very heart broken man

P.S. I think I posted in wrong section, could this be moved to the heartbroken one plz, v sorry

[xxazurexx]

I think if you gave your wife the same amount of attention, that you give to a stranger online who you have never even met and hardly know, perhaps you wouldn't be in an unhappy marriage. Although I suspect your marriage wasn't 'that' unhappy and until this stranger came along....

Says a lot for her character and the fact that at 40, she will fall for a 19 year old boy. Nothing wrong with 19 year old guys...but FFS, she is 40!!!!

She is likely a bored shitless housewife, who has nothing in life to focus on and to cure her boredom seeks attention online and from whoever will provide it. BTW, if she loved you 'that' much, I doubt a 19 year old boy would have succeeded in coming between you....

My advice is, get your marriage back on track and rather than pine like a lovesick puppy for a woman who lives thousands of miles away!!...That is if it was 'really' a woman...

[Chillidorito]

She was real, we got incredibly intimate and also, i shoulda explained that my unhappy marriage was way before she came along. It is a long story, but I understand how others will see it