What should I do? (Entire Story)

[bringthanoise]

Heres the entire story. Its's been about 2 months since it ended. I'm 17 by the way:

So school starts and a few weeks in I meet this girl and we became good friends. She was pretty flirtatious with me, but shes like that with a lot of people. Shes pretty outgoing and I thought nothing of it at the time. Then we started to hang out more and I really began to like her. I planned to ask her out a bunch of times, but a lot of stuff came up. Like my grandpa died early into the school year and there was some family drama with my parents and I didn't want to drag her into that. I knew she was worth the wait. I mean she REALLY liked me. Like she ditched her homecoming date to hang out with me and there was a lot of other times we hung out and I never really made a move on her because of what was happening with me at the time. The one time I should've asked her out I didn't and I heard about in school the next week from her friends. Like they thought I was just dragging her around and shit because it had been 2 months and I never asked her out. Like her last boyfriend treated her badly. I mean he cheated on her and he took her for granted. Two weeks later, all my family drama settled and I took her out and I asked her out at the end of the day. At first, she turned me down because she didn't expect me to ask her out. She thought I saw her as more of a friend. So the next few days I just left her alone and out of the blue she comes over to talk to me, so I hear her out. She broke down in tears holding me. She told me that she needs me and that she wants me in her life so we began going out.

So the day she comes over I learned that I had to get a blood test done for a potential health problem. I mean at the time, I didn't tell her yet because she gets stressed easily and I didn't want her to worry. I had a lot of stuff to do for that test and I didn't really talk to her that entire weekend. I didn't treat her like shit. I just didn't treat her like my girlfriend. Like I didn't really lead during that week because of all the shit happenening. The day before I was going to explain everything she ended it and at that point I thought it was too late. Like she thought I was pretending to like her because that's how she was treated in the past.

I know I didn't her like my girlfriend. I treated her more like a friend, but it wasn't because I didn't like her. I know I should've told her all of that and I planned on doing that, but it was a little too soon at first. I didn't want to overwhelm her. And it got to a point where not telling her right away just ate away at me because I knew she knew something was wrong with me. Before we went out, I treated her better because my life at that point was less drama free and that's why she liked me so much. I never chased after her and I treated her right. But a few weeks before and after we were together I wasn't really myself because of that drama. I didn't treat her like my girlfriend and I know that. I mean she REALLY liked me, but she always thought I was messing with her and that I just asked her out because that's what she wanted.

All of the times I tried to talk to her it just turned into a why I really like you speech. I guess my enotions just got the best of me at the times. The last time we talked face to face was about a month and a half ago. I'll text her here and there, but it's just casual conversation. I see this girl every day in school and I still have feelings for her and I know she still has some feelings for me. I mean she never thought she deserved me. She's always said that she was so lucky to end up with me and she just thinks that I'm better than her and it's really self-destructing.

Really, our relationship began with uncertainty. Like she didn't think I liked her when I asked her out and I never expected her to turn me down. We weren't really on the same page and the timing was off. We didn't really know what the other wanted how to act around one another and it got to a point where it seemed like our relationship was never real, like it was an act. I mean it was like we were still friends, not dating.

This girl is so different from everyone I've ever been with and theres just something about her that keeps pulling me back in. I've always known what the true problem was, I just couldn't get it out of my head because I was overwhelmed with everything going on in my life at the time. But now that that shit has died down, I want to tell her everything because it created a lot of misunderstandings. Before when we talked I never addressed the real problem. I mean there was just a lack of communication on my part and I know that. I didn't really let her into my world and she felt shut down. Like she never thoutgh I was serious about this relationship.I want to talk to her. I want to tell her this, but I don't know how I should approach it.

I mean I've talked to her before and I never told her that and like the first month after it ended I made myself look like a dumbass and I pleaded for her to listen to me, but it just led to me saying his much she meant to em so that pushed her away. So now when I say I want to talk she's gona think it's going to be one of those emotional outpours. I'll admit the times I've tried to talk to her before I wasn't all there. I was emotionally unavailable but I know what I want to tell her now. I know it'll be different when we talk but I don't know if she's going to believe me.

[smackie9]

Dude she is so insecure and needy. Do you really want a GF like that? She is going to question you at every turn and make life impossible, especially if you just want time to yourself. She lives for the drama, so ya she will listen and dwell on it, cry and make a scene...yay , have fun with that. Don't let the "oh I'm so helpless without you" persona. It may make you feel needed, but it's just immature girl crap. Go with it and you will see what I mean.

In my opinion you need a girl that will support you and "get you". Seriously you shouldn't have to work this hard to have a relationship.

[MerryH]

She doesn't sound all that insecure and needy to me. OP asked her to be his girlfriend and then basically ignored her. You really should have told her what was going on. Of course she thinks you toyed with her, that's exactly what it looked like.

So, OP, you blew it before it ever really began. You've tried to get back together with her several times and she's said no each time, right? Trying again is going to make you look pathetic and desperate.

[bringthanoise]

The last few times I've talked to her it wasn't about all the things that were happening. I mean I didn't tell her right away because the relationship had just started. It was never that I didn't trust her or like her. It just wasn't the right time to tell her yet. Like the last time I talked to her I said I really liked her and she said she felt like I didn't like her when I asked her out. She thought I was pretending because that's what she wanted and her last boyfriend did that to her. Like she kept taking him back and he kept screwing her over. I've never told her everything, just parts. I've told her why I like her and what she means to me, but not why I didn't treat her like my girlfriend. I mean should I attemp to try to talk with her one last time?