When should you worry about sex

[LOVE_CONFUSED]

Hi All,

This is just out of curiosity and not a personal situation, I was wondering when should you start to worry that your partner has no sexual attraction towards you?
How often is normal to have sex on a weekly basis and when should you start to think things arent quite right? Irrelavent to how high/low your sex drives are. I'm referring to a happy healthy, in love couple. If you live together preferably.

I'd appreciate your views.

Regards

[Boisdevie]

I'm 47. I visit my GF every weekend. We have sex most nights when we are together

[vashti]

You begin to worry when your needs aren't being met, and not before.

What makes you think s/he isn't sexually attracted anymore? Has there been a rapid decline in your sexual activity?

[sweetdreams]

Like vashti asked.. has there been a drastic change in your sex life? That's a pretty good sign that your partner is not into you as much as he was. For me when i started to lose feelings for my ex i stopped having sex with her. Maybe not completely but enough for someone to notice. We had sex a good 3-5 times a week if we could but sometimes things happen. Towards the end of our relationship, it was only the weekends than it died down to maybe once a week. I did not live with her so it's a little different. IGranted relationships' sex drives goes down a little after you've been together for a while but not to the point where you have to ask yourself what happend to our sex-life. This is what happened to me, not everyone will be the same. I hope that can give you an idea.

[LOVE_CONFUSED]

Nothing has happened. He says he still loves me etc but we talk about things that we're gonna do (in a sexual manor) and whenever we talk about these things they never happen. We do'nt do spur of the minute impulsive things anymore. Granted, there have been alot of changes in our home lives (problems with families, quitting smoking, a new puppy) BUT should these things come between a bond that couples should have together. We're averaging on sex once a week at the moment with no wild antics in between, sometimes I feel like he only does that to keep me happy.

[Take2]

There is no magic number. It is all about what you both need and want. For some couples, once a week would be fine for a lifetime and would represent a healthy and mutually fulfilling sexual relationship. For some, once a wekk would mean there was serious trouble in the relationship. It is about your sexual appetites and the emotional health of the relationship. But whatever the frequency, if it isn't working for you, you need to talk and find a workable solution that makes you both happy.

[LOVE_CONFUSED]

Thanks Take2.

I've got no problems with once a week, I just worry about all the stress that has been with our relationship since the word go, I do find it concernning that we discuss things during the day via text to get each other going but these things never turn out. My fiance has been hurt in relationships before and i think this is why he puts barriers up to me some of the time but it can be very frustrating.

[girl68]

I just had this talk with my guy. Before it was 5 times a week 4 years later it seemed to be 1 time a week. Quality was there the quantity wasn't. I basically had to call up and announce I was unsatisfied with the lack of sex and that my mood correlates with days lapsed since sex. Told him I want him more, want him to want me more etc. We both agreed we were getting a bit lazy in the seduction department and we'd both put in a little more effort and meet in the middle.

[EnjoyingLife]

Once a fortnight is good for us. We live together and have been together for 4.5 yrs. So I guess it's as the others have said. If you don't feel your sexual needs are being met then maybe you should both put more of an effort in, as sex makes you feel great and relieves stress! It depends on how busy you are as a couple too. Life is so busy that sometimes weeks just fly by for some people and sex can be forgotten.

[LOVE_CONFUSED]

I appreciate the advice guys.

Our lives have been pretty hectic over the past few months, with one thing or another. I think, I'm just trying to get clarification that if we do only have sex once a week that it doesnt mean there is anything wrong. Surely if he wasnt into me like that he wouldnt want to do the things we do (its not just plain sex)

[Boisdevie]

If things get hectic then it's probably normal to have sex a bit less often. The big thing is to see how things go when it's less hectic. You can't have sex when you feel stressed.

[LOVE_CONFUSED]

Thanks all.

Your advice is very much appreciated.