First off,I apologise for the novel but I really could use some sort of advice. Also, before you automatically assume that I'm one of those people that is completely insecure and self critical I would like to remind you that I am human after all...
I have lived with my boyfriend for three years now and haven't really had any problems until we moved away from the state that his parents live in. I go to school and he works so we have little quality time that we get to spend together.
Okay so the story actually starts a week ago when me and my boyfriend went out to buy condoms at the gas-station. My boyfriend was taking unusally long in the consession store and when he finally came out he was acting strangley. I dismissed it until we got home and he rushed off to the bathroom.
He finally came out and said that he had something to tell me, he told me that instead of getting condoms he had bought a playboy and wanted to know if it was okay if he "used it". Now, I know that it's perfectly normal for a guy to want to masturbate and that visual stimulation helps with that. But ethically am I really suppose to give him the go ahead to stare at naked chicks and satisfiy himself while I sit in the other room and pretend it's not awkward? Not to mention the complete and utter sexual rejection I felt when he told me that "the store was out of condoms" what did he think I was stupid or something?
I told him that it made me a little uncomfotable and that I would rather not know about it. He kinda didn't say much and then rushed off the the bathroom with the magazine. The more I thought about it the more it bothered me, and eventually we had a large argument about it.
Things returned to normal and actually everything seemed better because we had ended up having a heart to heart after the fight.
Then a day ago we go out in search of condoms again (which I am now starting to become wary of) and he convinces me to drive him to a adult store so that he can get a cockring or whatever. I wasn't really dressed apporprately seeing as it was starting to get a little late but I agree to take him. We arrive, and the parkinglot is a pretty creepy inclosed place, I tell him to hurry while I wait in the car (with my doors locked and my eyes on the look out for robbers/sexual preditores). He takes and hour! He finally comes out and I race out of that dilapitated hell hole.
While I'm dring he shows me what he has bought. A VERY realistic silcone synthectic vagina. I wasn't really sure what to say especially when he starts talking about how real it feels. Oh yeah and he got some dental dams because "he's too much of a pussy to stand the taste of my vagina".
We get home and he literally bursts out of the car and rushes inside to go play with his new best friend the vagina. I get inside and he tells me about "how tight it is" and then begins to lube and finger the vagina. He then proceeds to **** the vagina and after he finishes he remembers my exsistence.
He asks if I want to test out the dental dam, excuse me if I am now completely insulted and definatly anything but turned on in the least bit. Happy ****ing early valentines baby I have replaced your stinky loose vagina with a peice of what might as well be a gummybear vagina!
What should I do? I don't really want to ever tough him again and I never want to see him **** a rubber vagina again, that's for sure. Guys any sort of iput here, is this suppose to be like a dude thing, cause I think it's kind of a asshole thing....
I'm considering girls at this point at least I can relate to them on some level.
BTW I have a vibrator, but it in no way looks or resembles a penis (because it would make HIM uncomfortable).