Taking a Break from a Long Distance Relationship, Should I stay in contact?

[Tofu]

We both love each other but the distance was getting too intense for my gf cos she felt miserable not being able to see me everyday so we both decided to take a break. The thing is the distance is only 1hr away and we've only had 1 proper date which was only a month ago and we both agreed it was the best day of our lives. But when i left for the train that day she felt v lonely and hurt afterwards that i was no longer with her that she just slowly over the next month couldnt cope with it anymore which is why it resulted in me coming down to see her yesterday and us agreeing to give it a break. We havent even started seeing each other regularly every weekend but she felt that if we actually tried to see each other like that she would feel more hurt having to see me leave again and she didnt want to try that. In my view the only thing thats kept her down is because we havent seen each other in a month and with nothing to look forward to of course she'd be sad, I have tried repeatedly and eagerly in the past month to see her but exams and her grieving friend needing her kept us from doing that.

Right now we still contact each other through text as if were very close friends and im not sure if this is the right thing to do. I want to get her back but i hear that if you want your girlfriend back you need to lose all contact with her and wait for her to repeatedly contact you until she feels desperate to get back together again and try working things out rather than her following her emotions as to what can and cannot be done, which i find silly without using logic but sadly girls are that way. I dont want to hurt her by not talking but if its the only way for her to realize it is correct for us to try and work things out and be together again then i will do it. We have always been frequent texters to each other ever since the early days of this relationship and it would be quite a change for her if i suddenly stopped, I could see her worrying and asking if something was wrong once i do stop talking to her but do you really think she'd start missing me when she doesnt hear from me and then actually try with everything shes got to talk and get back together with me?

[Darkest Heaven]

Get to a point in your life where 1 hour isn't considered long distance. At least that would be my first step. Otherwise, talk to her if you want to, but know that things may turn for the worst for you if she finds somebody more available.

[SelflessnHumble]

We both love each other but the distance was getting too intense for my gf cos she felt miserable not being able to see me everyday so we both decided to take a break. The thing is the distance is only 1hr away and we've only had 1 proper date which was only a month ago and we both agreed it was the best day of our lives. I have tried repeatedly and eagerly in the past month to see her but exams and her grieving friend needing her kept us from doing that.

(1) This is NOT a long distance relationship...This is a physically distant and emotionally empty relationship. Check.
(2) her grieving friend (cop out) is just an excuse...Even a grieving friend would understand a woman's need to see her man: ONE hour away!

I could see her worrying and asking if something was wrong once i do stop talking to her but do you really think she'd start missing me when she doesnt hear from me and then actually try with everything shes got to talk and get back together with me?

Look, no one can tell you what to do.
But what you should do: is drive your butt over there and sit down and talk to her face to face...

Don't play these silly 3rd grade games of "I know, she'll miss me when I disappear!" yeah, that's it! Not.

Be a man: see her in person, be smart and find out when she is free, but don't ask her straight out.
If she isn't willing to give you the time a relationship requires (One hour away is NOTHING dude) then it is clear
you need to step up and dump her (not shrewdly) but assertively based on the lack of _________you know you aren't getting.

[Tofu]

(1) This is NOT a long distance relationship...This is a physically distant and emotionally empty relationship. Check.
(2) her grieving friend (cop out) is just an excuse...Even a grieving friend would understand a woman's need to see her man: ONE hour away!



Look, no one can tell you what to do.
But what you should do: is drive your butt over there and sit down and talk to her face to face...

Don't play these silly 3rd grade games of "I know, she'll miss me when I disappear!" yeah, that's it! Not.

Be a man: see her in person, be smart and find out when she is free, but don't ask her straight out.
If she isn't willing to give you the time a relationship requires (One hour away is NOTHING dude) then it is clear
you need to step up and dump her (not shrewdly) but assertively based on the lack of _________you know you aren't getting.

Already been there to see her yesterday cos we decided to talk about it in person thats when we agreed on the break, soz i should have mentioned that. I tried to tell her that 1hr is nothing and that she really needs to try and actually start seeing each other regularly before deciding if it really wouldnt work, she wouldnt listen and just kept saying she 'cant'. I honestly threw everything i got to reason with her yesterday but she followed her emotions and gut feeling that she just couldnt do it. She insisted that distance was the only reason she couldnt do this and from hearing her voice and looking at her eyes i can honestly believe her. Shes the type of person who needs people that she loves close to her, and i just cant provide that all i can really do is see her 3 times a week tops. I agree 1hr is nothing but she said it is to her, i hav spoken to many ppl and they all say 1hr is nothing... but sadly she wants to be able to come see the ones she cares bout easily.

[Boisdevie]

one hour is nothing, I have a very happy relationship with my GF and we live nearly 2 hours apart

[Tofu]

one hour is nothing, I have a very happy relationship with my GF and we live nearly 2 hours apart

Im aware of that, if you could convince my gf about that id be a much happier man. She says she wants someone who can always be available to see her but thats just something i cant do or anyone can do even if they do live in her city. Thing is she hasnt even tried to regularly see each other, which I have tried repeating again and again to her but she just didnt want to try. Which is why im asking should I avoid her or not so she starts missing me and finally tries to see that 1hr is NOTHING.

[SelflessnHumble]

Already been there to see her yesterday cos we decided to talk about it in person thats when we agreed on the break, soz i should have mentioned that. I tried to tell her that 1hr is nothing and that she really needs to try and actually start seeing each other regularly before deciding if it really wouldnt work, she wouldnt listen and just kept saying she 'cant'. I honestly threw everything i got to reason with her yesterday but she followed her emotions and gut feeling that she just couldnt do it. She insisted that distance was the only reason she couldnt do this and from hearing her voice and looking at her eyes i can honestly believe her. Shes the type of person who needs people that she loves close to her, and i just cant provide that all i can really do is see her 3 times a week tops. I agree 1hr is nothing but she said it is to her, i hav spoken to many ppl and they all say 1hr is nothing... but sadly she wants to be able to come see the ones she cares bout easily.

I think taking a break is a big mistake.
See, this relationship is as lopsided as an old woman's chest using a crooked wire bra...
It's clear what you want and are willing to provide; She can't and won't: Her choice.

She's closed off because she truly doesn't want to be with you.
She remembers what you had: but it is NOT what you have (now) It's changed. See that?

Don't be a poosay man.
It's clear she is NOT willing nor able to provide the effort needed to sustain this relationship.
It's obvious to me: why not you?

You don't ask for space, take a break, or any other pussy footing shit like that:
You just go see her again: thank her for all the good times you shared...But that you need more
than what she is willing to provide> The end.

[JoeyJR]

Selfless hit the nail in the coffin.

[violingirl]

Any woman who is truly in love with a man would be willing to fly half way around the world to be with him. I live 4 hours away from my sweetie and I'm more than happy to go visit him when I can or to meet him 1/2 way. You really need to re-evaluate your situation. I don't think she loves you.

[xxazurexx]

It's a cop out and an excuse she used to end the relationship IMO...

Crying out loud you are only an HOUR apart

Waste of time thinking about 'playing games' with this one and hoping that your ignoring her will make her miss you more. She will probably be 'relieved' when you stop calling.

Don't play these silly 3rd grade games of "I know, she'll miss me when I disappear!" yeah, that's it! Not.

Any guy who ignored me and didn't communicate, wouldn't never hear from me again...

Not 'all' females chase men who show no interest.

Which is why those dumb rules books are a heap of cack.