Need advice to how to approach a girl for shy guys

[smackie9]

Eye contact, then go up to he and say hi, then introduce yourself, ask her for her name, then tell her you have seen her a few times and thought you would like to ask her out. There is no baby steps, either you do it or you don't.

[Neo(n)]

Being shy myself i know how shy guys fall for girls they either have never spoken to or have spoken to but don't know.

We make up their personality as someone who would be perfect for us, and then we play out secnarios with this faked girl and we end up doing is so much that we become kind of obsessed, and start thinking that we have to be with that girl as noone else is as great as her.

We have to realise that this made up girl is made up and the only way to find out what they are actually like and to have a chance of getting to know them better is to talk to them.

When you finally get to that stage and you find out what they are really like even if they turn out to be a massive bitch because your not popular, cool or attractive enough. then you have only won back your self controll.

You have to keep telling yourself that if you keep believeing her to be this amazing perfect girl your will trap yourself in a relationship prison and probably miss out on many many oppertunities to get to know the girl or find someone better that you wouldn't have even noticed otherwise.

Keep telling yourself that you don't know her and you'll find the courage to talk to her eventually.

[Homelife]

Make small talk. Walk up to her and say something "safe" like you take that psych class, how is it? Or how is that professor? And then try to gauge and see if she's interested, is she making eye contact? Is her body titled towards or near you? Is she smiling or laughing? Anything that shows she is being receptive, then try to say you seem nice or you seem cool and then try to ask her if she wants to go out for cofee sometimes? Don't come off as desperate but try to convey confidence, every woman loves a confident man.

[shyguy0806]

Make small talk. Walk up to her and say something "safe" like you take that psych class, how is it? Or how is that professor? And then try to gauge and see if she's interested, is she making eye contact? Is her body titled towards or near you? Is she smiling or laughing? Anything that shows she is being receptive, then try to say you seem nice or you seem cool and then try to ask her if she wants to go out for cofee sometimes? Don't come off as desperate but try to convey confidence, every woman loves a confident man.

I just acted cool today, and gave her some eye contact (just a brief glance) and smiled....as I walked out of the door to my next class.
She too gave me some eye contact and smiled I think, unless it was there was someone like right behind me or something.
I guess I should just smile and give her some more eye contact a couple of more times...? What do you guys think?

[Neo(n)]

Yeah do the eye contact thing a few times, it worked for me, i did it with this girl at my work and she started looking at me first

But you don't want to get stuck in the 'look zone' as easy as it will become to make eye contact you have to take the next step. i'd say after you've seen her eyes 1 or 2 more times then go talk to her as hard as it might be. it helps to practice what your going to say and this will help improve your confidence when you do come to talk to her.

Good luck mate, and remember be the best she's had, not the best she almost had

[shyguy0806]

Yeah do the eye contact thing a few times, it worked for me, i did it with this girl at my work and she started looking at me first

But you don't want to get stuck in the 'look zone' as easy as it will become to make eye contact you have to take the next step. i'd say after you've seen her eyes 1 or 2 more times then go talk to her as hard as it might be. it helps to practice what your going to say and this will help improve your confidence when you do come to talk to her.

Good luck mate, and remember be the best she's had, not the best she almost had

I'll be keeping you guys posted about who I am doing so far.
So lets talking about the next thing after the eye contacts. How exactly should I approach her?

[Davis]

Just wanted to say there's some good advice here as I read through this thread....

I'm a shy guy as well...I had the confidence to feel that I am good looking and such....but never enough to go up to random girls and introduce myself. I used to put girls on a pedestal too...bad...i would end up having this perfect girl in my head before I tried talking to her and I messed it up by being nervous, etc.

I'm slowly coming out of it myself....My advice is to seriously just walk up to girls and introduce yourself...then just ask a simple question. I used to think I had to come up with a great question after I introduced myself to capture their attention which held me back from going up to a girl in the first place....

Lots of girls want to be approached by guys...and you can't get all bummed out cause one wasn't interested...not all girls are single and not all girls are gonna like you...

Its just one of those things...I could get turned down by 100 girls...but I'm closer to finding that "1".

[Klim]

NOTE- Do this when no one else is around, because then you'll probably be more nervous and people will probably interrupt.

Well, you could use the direct approach. It IS the best approach. Anyway, just walk up to her. Introduce yourself. Talk about something you really like. Try to avoid video games/computers in conversation, unless she's wearing a shirt that says "404 - caption not found" on it, or something like that. Also, maintain eye contact. That'll probably get you to a "that guy was kinda cool" stage, then you can go from there.

Of course, I'd never do anything I just recommended again. I tried it once and it worked, but I was the most nervous I'd been in my life.

[weird cat]

I guess a valid question is, are you shy around any and all strangers, like will you have a nervous breakdown from doing a speech in front of your class, or are you only shy around girls you actually fancy. if you are shy around strangers in general, then that's easier to get over with and it will definitely help with improving your shyness around the girls you fancy. to get rid of your shyness around strangers, all you have to do is place yourself in a position where you are forced to have prolonged ( by that I mean anywhere from 5-50 minutes), face to face interactions with strangers on a regular basis. like a customer service personnel.

your next step I would say, is to "know thyself", true confidence comes from your knowledge of your own capabilities and limitations, in other words, the further you can push yourself, the more you can challenge yourself, the more inner strength you will come to acquire and the more confidence you will be able to build.

now another cool thing you can do, is to try speed dating, like 5 minutes or 8 minutes dating, you will be forced to talk to 8-15 new female faces within 90 minutes time, and if you survive it, I'm pretty sure that you'll walk away with some serious revelation. It might wreck you emotionally, but it aint gonna kill you go with an attitude of "you got nothing to lose but your face". the 2nd time will be way easier, and if you can pull off a third time, I'm pretty sure you won't have much of a shy guy problem left.

[smackie9]

Ya speed dating I think can help lots. It takes the approach part out of the equation and leaves you with just conversation....less pressure.

[shyguy0806]

And where would I find a random place to speeddate?

[smackie9]

Some night clubs and pubs will have a speed date night. Check your local entertainment listings. Some cities will have an entertainment website.

[shyguy0806]

Well, I am 19 so I don't think that I would be able to walk into any bar.

[smackie9]

Oops wrong country...so how close are you to the border?

[smackie9]

Looks like you are going to have to go for plan B, and that would be to just randomly ask girls out. Start with ones that don't intimidate you too much. Remember just because you take someone out doesn't mean you have to commit to being their BF, it's just casual dating.