Have you ever been stalked?

**Take2** · 25-02-11, 01:12 AM

Vince, you keep saying this guy is lying because he says you said things you didn't say. That is only compelling if we assume Amy is totally honest. I see no reason to assume that. I see that Craig COULD be totally honest, and Amy could be telling him lies.

You keep saying why, why, why. I'd guess that she likes the drama. It certainly is interesting that Craig didn't contact you for over a month. Then you gave her an ultimatum. The same day you gave her an ultimatum, suddenly Craig is hearing about you from her again. If Craig was really stalking you and cloning your phone and such, this would be his ideal time to lay low-you are leaving of your free will. But if Amy loves drama, this would be the ideal time for her to stir the pot.

Is it more likely that this guy is some super-sleuth with high-tech equipment and the knowledge to use it...or is it more likely that Amy told him you were stalking her at this gym and that you begged her to go to this concert and every other weird thing he has claimed she said?

**VincenzoG91** · 25-02-11, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by sweetkissesforu

I think you are trying to be the hero and have been dubed maybe by both of them
they are sitting conspiring your so easy to believe it
if she is abused by him she wont leave until she is ready sadly this is true for most women who are abused

Yes, I am trying to be the hero. My parents raised me with certain old-fashioned values, and had me join the Boy Scouts. As an adult, I have also embraced the Code of Bushido, which includes compassion for the weak.

If they are conspiring together, where is the advantage? I am only willing to spend money to help her leave him. I won't be giving her money, I will be paying directly, to an attorney, movers, etc.

Based on my recent reading about domestic abuse, you are quite correct. She won't leave him until she is ready, and that could take a long time. And the average abuse victim goes back to the abuser 5-7 times. She has gone back to him at least once so far. On the other hand, all this spy stuff has her completely creeped out.

Aside from giving her the prepaid phone and showing her his lying text messages on my phone, I don't think that I can do anything else productive until she is ready to leave him, and there shouldn't be anymore contact unless there is an emergency or she is finally ready to leave.

**sookie6** · 25-02-11, 01:21 AM

I don't know about Bushido etc..but I have other spiritual beliefs...I believe that we tend to repeat the same unfortunate experiences until we actually resolve the central issue raised by these experiences..I used to be extremely bad at standing for myself without falling out completely woth people...and life very certainly has put me in situation where I had to spend time on a regular basis with borderline bullies...it was bad until the day I learned to be assertive without being personal...

Anyway..I think your lesson is to learn to let got of situations and people. You don't seem to accept that walking out is sometimes the wisest choice.

And another thing: being needed does not mean you are being loved...(men struggle more with this I think)...

**VincenzoG91** · 25-02-11, 01:23 AM

Originally Posted by Take2

Vince, you keep saying this guy is lying because he says you said things you didn't say. That is only compelling if we assume Amy is totally honest. I see no reason to assume that. I see that Craig COULD be totally honest, and Amy could be telling him lies.

You keep saying why, why, why. I'd guess that she likes the drama. It certainly is interesting that Craig didn't contact you for over a month. Then you gave her an ultimatum. The same day you gave her an ultimatum, suddenly Craig is hearing about you from her again. If Craig was really stalking you and cloning your phone and such, this would be his ideal time to lay low-you are leaving of your free will. But if Amy loves drama, this would be the ideal time for her to stir the pot.

Is it more likely that this guy is some super-sleuth with high-tech equipment and the knowledge to use it...or is it more likely that Amy told him you were stalking her at this gym and that you begged her to go to this concert and every other weird thing he has claimed she said?

Good questions.

Amy wouldn't tell him the things that he is claiming, because they are things that will make him mad, and that makes things more dangerous for her. If Craig is totally honest, why is his alleged fiance so nervous and ready to leave him?

The timing is interesting, but understandable. Monday was a holiday for Amy and I, but not Craig, so we were going to meet up. But his defrost wasn't working, so he wanted to borrow her car to get to work. Foolishly, she refused, saying that she had important errands to run. That had to piss him off and make him really suspicious. She should have loaned him her car and then had me pick her up later. I agree that Craig could have left the situation alone, and watch how my ultimatum played out, but since he just got the cloned phone (I think), he was probably freaking out about all the current texting between Amy and I. If she is getting abused, there is no good time to stir the pot. If she isn't getting abused and she is actually going to marry him, stirring the pot still seems completely pointless.

This guy is a National Guard unit that specializes in reconnaissance. I looked them up. Even if he isn't an expert with the tech gear, he works with guys who are experts. And his unit has been to Iraq.

**VincenzoG91** · 25-02-11, 01:24 AM

Originally Posted by sookie6

And another thing: being needed does not mean you are being loved...(men struggle more with this I think)...

Excellent point.

**sweetkissesforu** · 25-02-11, 01:42 AM

Originally Posted by VincenzoG91

Good questions.

Amy wouldn't tell him the things that he is claiming, because they are things that will make him mad, and that makes things more dangerous for her. If Craig is totally honest, why is his alleged fiance so nervous and ready to leave him?

The timing is interesting, but understandable. Monday was a holiday for Amy and I, but not Craig, so we were going to meet up. But his defrost wasn't working, so he wanted to borrow her car to get to work. Foolishly, she refused, saying that she had important errands to run. That had to piss him off and make him really suspicious. She should have loaned him her car and then had me pick her up later. I agree that Craig could have left the situation alone, and watch how my ultimatum played out, but since he just got the cloned phone (I think), he was probably freaking out about all the current texting between Amy and I. If she is getting abused, there is no good time to stir the pot. If she isn't getting abused and she is actually going to marry him, stirring the pot still seems completely pointless.

This guy is a National Guard unit that specializes in reconnaissance. I looked them up. Even if he isn't an expert with the tech gear, he works with guys who are experts. And his unit has been to Iraq.

If she was abused she would have had a good shit kicking with all this text evidence by meeting her on the sly you put her in danger really

**doppelgaenger** · 25-02-11, 02:37 AM

I've dealt with stalking issues before, and it's no fun. I'll try to wrap up what happened in a couple poorly written sentences:

She cheated, I dumped her sorry ass, and then she went for a crappy, pathetic rebound. I was done with her, but she kept texting and calling and writing me emails, and told me she was pregnant, and I later found out she was blowing smoke up my ass and showing her BF and his friends my responses to her, and accused me of stalking. I received all kinds of harassment from them - phone calls, voicemails, text messages, and one time they apparently showed up at my old dorm when I was gone. That was the last straw - I got police involved and it stopped right away. I felt like I was being stalked! She was a real bunny boiler, and she had that pussy-whipped cocksucker on a leash, barking at me.

I suggest not even chatting with your ex girl period. She betrayed you man! Don't provide her with any sense of security after that. If he tries any funny shit, rip his balls off and stuff them down his throat. Walk softly and carry a big stick.

**misombra** · 25-02-11, 02:58 AM

she is not being abused. if you will buy that i got some ocean front property in arizona for you.

**SelflessnHumble** · 25-02-11, 03:04 AM

Originally Posted by MerryH

You have no proof of this! All you have is what Amy tells you and if you take anything that comes out of her mouth at face value, you're insane!

Earlier in the thread people were telling you, "Hey, maybe she's telling him that you're stalking her" you were like, "No, I don't think so." That text he sent you is proof that she told him something very similar to this, so he's acting in a way that you would expect a guy to react considering everything that's happened.

It is so tempting to go through your posts and refute things point by point. The way you assess all this shit amazes me. You have not been thinking rationally about any of this. You're too involved. It's like you're trying to blame him for all the shit she's put you through. You need someone to be mad at, and for whatever reason that person is Craig, when it should be Amy. You're all mixed up. Getting rid of her completely is a step in the right direction.

Why don't you text him back and just say, "Okay. You have my word that I will no longer speak to her. I hope that settles any conflict between us and that this is the last time we'll communicate. Take care." There. Done. Nothing to fight over anymore and you can move on with your life.

If I could thank this post like 10,000 times I would.

**SelflessnHumble** · 25-02-11, 03:05 AM

Originally Posted by SelflessnHumble

If I could thank this post like 10,000 times I would.

And of course (since it is convenient) she will deny it if brought up.
They are both f ucking crazy. He's even crazier for taking what is said at face value.

**SelflessnHumble** · 25-02-11, 03:06 AM

Originally Posted by misombra

she is not being abused. if you will buy that i got some ocean front property in arizona for you.

How much? Can I see pics first?

**VincenzoG91** · 25-02-11, 03:06 AM

Originally Posted by misombra

she is not being abused. if you will buy that i got some ocean front property in arizona for you.

So true. No woman has ever been abused by a man. Rape is a myth. Also, the sky is orange, and we will fly away on totally magic unicorns.

**SelflessnHumble** · 25-02-11, 03:08 AM

Originally Posted by VincenzoG91

An order for protection in Minnesota works differently than what you're describing. She can get a temporary order of protection if she meets one of several criteria, one of which is living at the same resident. The police swoop in, give the guy a few minutes to pack an overnight bag under police supervision, and then they escort him off the premises. This is to give the victim a chance to move out without interference. After a few days, the temporary order of protection expires, and can only be extended for a year by a judge, in a hearing which the subject of the restraining order can attend.

Even better...

So...if this is true (about how it all goes down) she would be protected.
It sounds like her phone is actually his phone on his account she is just permanently using...

So I have to ask: why then, hasn't she pressed the issue enough to get away from him?
I'm willing to bet the answer is *crickets*

**doppelgaenger** · 25-02-11, 03:11 AM

Abuse is really discipline and rape is only surprise sex. And women deserve it.

The sky doesn't really have a color - just the dust and particles in the atmosphere reflecting sunlight, which sometimes appears to be orange.

**Take2** · 25-02-11, 03:19 AM

Originally Posted by VincenzoG91

Good questions.

Amy wouldn't tell him the things that he is claiming, because they are things that will make him mad, and that makes things more dangerous for her. If Craig is totally honest, why is his alleged fiance so nervous and ready to leave him?..... If she is getting abused, there is no good time to stir the pot. If she isn't getting abused and she is actually going to marry him, stirring the pot still seems completely pointless.

ORRRRRR, if she isn't getting abused and doesn't plan to marry this guy and just loves drama?? Well, then maybe she is pretending to be nervous because it feels good to have you all ready to protect her. Maybe she is doing the EXACT same thing with him, for the same reason. Playing y'all against each other. It would seem pointless for an emotionally healthy person to do any of this. But we already know she is an attention seeker, prone to playing the victim and not overly concerned about honesty being the best policy. For her specifically, it makes perfect sense that she would stir the pot. It would be really odd if she didn't, actually.

Originally Posted by VincenzoG91

This guy is a National Guard unit that specializes in reconnaissance. I looked them up. Even if he isn't an expert with the tech gear, he works with guys who are experts. And his unit has been to Iraq.

Eh, maybe. What was this guy's rank and training? The private who puts the chocks in front of the planes doesn't spend much time talking to pilots, even if they are in the same unit. Does he have money to blow on the equipment needed to do this stuff, even if he knew how to use it?

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