Have you ever been stalked?

[Take2]

So true. No woman has ever been abused by a man. Rape is a myth. Also, the sky is orange, and we will fly away on totally magic unicorns.

Sometimes people lie. Sometimes they lie about horrible things. A mother making her kid sick to get attention, for example...but that doesn't mean that there is no such thing as a legitimately sick child. Women get abused, and it is awful. Rape is horrific, I know. But just because someone claims to have been abused, it doesn't magically make that person incapable of lying just because the topic is a true thing other people have to face. Heck, good liars always pick stories that sound like real stories.

The problem is that her story has holes SOOOOO big that they show up even when a person who believes her re-tells the story on a message board. That's a red flag. You want it to be true, and that is coloring how you see it. But if you were listening to a buddy tell you this story, you'd be yelling at him that the girl was clearly lying. Maybe she isn't. Maybe she's the poor girl who cried wolf and THIS part of the story is true in spite of her propensity to lie and cheat and manipulate. It's possible, and I don't know for sure. But I'd say the odds are much better that this tall tale is as fabricated as all the rest. Occam's Razor, you know?

[VincenzoG91]

ORRRRRR, if she isn't getting abused and doesn't plan to marry this guy and just loves drama?? Well, then maybe she is pretending to be nervous because it feels good to have you all ready to protect her. Maybe she is doing the EXACT same thing with him, for the same reason. Playing y'all against each other. It would seem pointless for an emotionally healthy person to do any of this. But we already know she is an attention seeker, prone to playing the victim and not overly concerned about honesty being the best policy. For her specifically, it makes perfect sense that she would stir the pot. It would be really odd if she didn't, actually.

Eh, maybe. What was this guy's rank and training? The private who puts the chocks in front of the planes doesn't spend much time talking to pilots, even if they are in the same unit. Does he have money to blow on the equipment needed to do this stuff, even if he knew how to use it?

Both Amy and Craig have told me that they started dating in 2005. If she is such a drama queen, why would she wait six years before playing us off against each other?

He is a staff sergeant in the national guard reserve. That at least makes for a convenient move out date... "one weekend a month, two weeks a year."

[misombra]

she's not going to move.

i'll bet my life savings on it. she will not move until he throws her out.

[VincenzoG91]

Sometimes people lie. Sometimes they lie about horrible things. A mother making her kid sick to get attention, for example...but that doesn't mean that there is no such thing as a legitimately sick child. Women get abused, and it is awful. Rape is horrific, I know. But just because someone claims to have been abused, it doesn't magically make that person incapable of lying just because the topic is a true thing other people have to face. Heck, good liars always pick stories that sound like real stories.

The problem is that her story has holes SOOOOO big that they show up even when a person who believes her re-tells the story on a message board. That's a red flag. You want it to be true, and that is coloring how you see it. But if you were listening to a buddy tell you this story, you'd be yelling at him that the girl was clearly lying. Maybe she isn't. Maybe she's the poor girl who cried wolf and THIS part of the story is true in spite of her propensity to lie and cheat and manipulate. It's possible, and I don't know for sure. But I'd say the odds are much better that this tall tale is as fabricated as all the rest. Occam's Razor, you know?

I admit that I have taken a compartmentalized approach to this situation. I have been focused on the possibility that there is abuse, because if it's true, she needs to get away from him safely, and I definitely want to help with that. Once she is away, then I was planning on coming to grips with the fact that she lied to me for so long. It's like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: physiological needs first, then safety. After safety, than social needs can be addressed, including relationships.

[sookie6]

she's not going to move.

i'll bet my life savings on it. she will not move until he throws her out.

How muc is your life savings ?

[Take2]

Both Amy and Craig have told me that they started dating in 2005. If she is such a drama queen, why would she wait six years before playing us off against each other?

He is a staff sergeant in the national guard reserve. That at least makes for a convenient move out date... "one weekend a month, two weeks a year."

I'm guessing that the other drama she was able to create was sufficient for her until recently. The thrill of living a double life may have given her satisfaction enough for quite a while. And you guys aren't the only people available for drama, I am sure she had other drama completely outside the 2 of you. Friends she played off each other, family members she made miserable, neighbors she baited, the possibilities are nearly endless. Possibly even 2 or 3 other guys she played for fun during that time?

[VincenzoG91]

Take2, it's possible that there was other drama going on, but that's really speculative for me. I have no awareness that it was going on.

[SelflessnHumble]

Both Amy and Craig have told me that they started dating in 2005. If she is such a drama queen, why would she wait six years before playing us off against each other?

He is a staff sergeant in the national guard reserve. That at least makes for a convenient move out date... "one weekend a month, two weeks a year."

You want these kinds of silly questions answered with reason, logic and common sense (considering they are both 2 tacos short of a combo plate) ???

The fact is:

SHE needs money...
HE is willing to provide it...
SHE has zero intention of leaving UNTIL (wait for it)
SHE can trade up...

[qwertz]

Why do you care? She lied to you for 5 years. She is no doubt still lying to you, but either way you should walk away, dont you have any dignity??

[VincenzoG91]

I have cared about her for the last 7.5 years. I'm not going to easily forget about her in just five weeks.

[Take2]

You will never forget about her. You probably will care about her for almost forever, if not actually forever. But it is time to take about 100 steps away from her. Because you should care about you, too. You have known you even longer, and you owe yourself some self-preservation, some space, some time to heal. But it is time to let her go. Past time, actually.

[SelflessnHumble]

You will never forget about her. You probably will care about her for almost forever, if not actually forever. But it is time to take about 100 steps away from her. Because you should care about you, too. You have known you even longer, and you owe yourself some self-preservation, some space, some time to heal. But it is time to let her go. Past time, actually.

A man who has nothing to look forward to: always goes back to his past. ALWAYS.

[VincenzoG91]

A man who has nothing to look forward to: always goes back to his past. ALWAYS.

It's an unfortunate side-effect of the aging process.

[MerryH]

Merry, I have a great deal of respect for your very sensible advice, but you are out of your depth here. Have you ever been stalked? As I explained, this idiot lied to me about things that I said with my own mouth. I know what I said, and I know that he's lying. I find it amazing that people here are so ignorant about domestic abuse, though I admit that I too was ignorant about such things until recently. There is a guy who knows where I live, and now he has sent me a threat by text. These are facts, and if you are so biased that you can't process facts, then you are not helpful in this matter.

I'm not going to get into my personal life to prove to you that I know what I'm talking about. I'm not ignorant, I am not biased, and I am perfectly capable of processing the facts you've presented here. I see your situation differently than you do, so I shared that in the hope that it would help you to consider different scenarios so you could make more reasonable evaluations of things that happen.

Insulting my intelligence because you disagreed with me was really unnecessary. Good luck with everything.

[SelflessnHumble]

Vincenzo Wrote:
Merry, I have a great deal of respect for your very sensible advice, but you are out of your depth here. Have you ever been stalked? As I explained, this idiot lied to me about things that I said with my own mouth. I know what I said, and I know that he's lying. I find it amazing that people here are so ignorant about domestic abuse, though I admit that I too was ignorant about such things until recently. There is a guy who knows where I live, and now he has sent me a threat by text. These are facts, and if you are so biased that you can't process facts, then you are not helpful in this matter.

The issue here is: You are not doing this (pursuing an abused woman who loves the abuse) for HER: you are doing it because the guy (who in your mind crossed the line with you)
is the problem here when in reality: YOU ARE THE PROBLEM! See that?

She doesn't want you anymore than she doesn't want him: evident by her actions and her continued hold she still has over you (and continues to exploit)
The facts: are the most ironic point to bring up since I've been telling you of the real facts posts and pages ago...

Fact: Stop being nosy concerning a woman who NEVER respected/loved you period.
Fact: SHE has chosen to stay with this man: HER choice: accept it: and move on. Can't?

You have the problem here, not "Craig." Why?
He hasn't a motive to talk to you/stalk you because: (he's already won the prize: the egocentricity of knowing HE has Amy-under his thumb and in her grasp)
Why then does he text you? YOU won't leave his woman alone!!!! That's why! I'd be texting you the same shit if you couldn't stop talking to my woman (regardless if she talks to you first)

Reading these posts is like watching a Quenten Tarantino movie, dude. Can't you see that?
MerryH does and all without having the requisite of being stalked...

The fact: You come out the loser in all of this. Now, and down the line...just wait and see -sadly you will.