When negative thoughts take over

[La Roux]

I've known her for about 3 years. She is 4 years older than me, an architecture student and I'm an interior design student. My feeling for her starts to grow a lot further from the last 2 years, I was always trying to help her in any of her problems. We share a lot of things together, I practice music with her, helped arranged a gig for her birthday, blah blah.

So, at 00:00 when it turned Valentine's Day, I texted her would she be my Valentine. She texted back that she was surprised cuz she was going to text me to wish me a new day, and then she asked me why her. [...and so we texted a lot...] To sum it up, I told her clearly that I don't like polite excuses at all, if she wanted to say 'no', she must say it straight with honesty. She said she couldn't say it clear, if I asked her that question a year ago, she would say no, but after a year, she couldn't believe that I mean so much to her. Then she told me to give her more time, and she doesn't want me to rush cuz she might run and hide from it, and she believes that I have a special place in her.

That afternoon, she texted me just to ask how was my day and stuff, but it didn't sound natural like usual. When I asked her to go out in the evening, surprisingly she agreed. And when I came late 20 minutes to pick her up (cuz of a stupid stomach ache and a problem with my motorbike), she didn't seem to be a bit mad. We had...not the best date that any couple would have had, but not the worst either. Brought her home, she gave her scarf to me so I could be warmer on my way home.

After that, we still texted eachother but for the whole yesterday, she hasn't texted me back.

I am a guy whose thinking gets negative lots of times, still working on it but yet not enough. My feelings are very sensitive that it could make my chest feel boing and a wee bit hard to breath at anytime. I would like advices on:

- how to fix my negative thinking problem
- I feel lost, really love to continue but don't know how to do it right
- how you see/feel about my relationship/circumstance

Thank you for reading, hope that was enough detail.

[Kaius]

The negative thoughts are all in your head, and things dont change with those thoughts. You. Have the power to shut it off if you really want to, because whats in your head actually disappears when you stop thinking about them.

This girl sounds like a good friend. If you feel there is mutual attraction, move forward with your approach. Keep in mind that friendship canbe more rewarding that a love relationship for some people. I had a college friend who was really close to me. I have seen her naked (medical circumstances) but we never had sex...or even kissed. I could never imagine dating her, even though she was hot enough for sure. I would much rather keep her as a friend.