What does this mean?

**rico22** · 23-02-11, 02:05 AM

So I've been seeing a girl since November and we've been hanging out every weekend. And everytime we chill everything is perfect, we hug, cuddle, kiss, good convo etc. But there is one thing thats bugging me and I dont know what to make of it since its the first time that this has happened to me. So..

Couple of weeks ago we had a bit of a problem, I wasant feeling the relationship and told her I just wanted to be friends for now. SHe was upset, ok whatever. So we decided to go out again as friends, but it went back to kissing and holding each other, so back to dating we go. Now I really like this girl, I dont know what it is. At first I wasant feeling it and nwo I really want to be with her.

The thing that bugs me is she says doesnt trust me. She doesn't want to be my girlfriend because she needs to build up some sort of trust and that being girlfriend boyfiriend is very serious to her. And the other is that she wont let me in her apartment at all!! WTF?? I feel like im some sort of creeper!? I know where she lives and her apartment, she lives alone with a roommate. SHould this bother me? I dont like not being trusted :/... I dont know why this bothers me.. I just never had a problem being invited in a house before.. /shrug

ANy any, suggestions or opinions would be awesome

**Mr. Turtle** · 23-02-11, 05:38 AM

Drop her. Seriously, dont ask questions about this one. If she says she doesnt trust you and wont let you in her apartment, then there are other issues behind the scenes. Itll suck in the short run and may feel like it will be longer to find someone than it actually will, but this just wreaks of a bad deal.

**live4love** · 23-02-11, 11:07 AM

Hmmm....from a woman's point of view...

You could always ask why she won't let you in???
Sometimes it's because we ladies don't trust ourselves and we aren't quite ready to move forward sexually...so better to keep the temptation at bay (and out of the apt). For some people, the whole girlfriend thing is a big deal, and maybe she needs to be sure SHE wants a more serious thing. It could be she wants to date around a little before deciding and that is reasonable of her.

**Cinnabella** · 23-02-11, 11:32 AM

Huh? No one saw the part that he suggested friendship with her after those romantic? Why would she trust you more? Do you know what you want or you just say being bf/gf then all in sudden you kick her ass to be friends again?

**rico22** · 23-02-11, 12:54 PM

I can see what Cinnabella means, and I guess I can understand that. We were romantic, then I called it off, and now back again. But the whole apartment thing really bothers me. Guess I'll have to ask and see. :/

BTW she is really old school kind of girl, loves doors opened etc... And comes from a very conservative/religous family ... Could be a reason she doens't want me in her apartment? lol .. gonna ask her.. if no straight answer.. gonna have to let her go..

**MerryH** · 23-02-11, 01:03 PM

You dumped her just a couple of weeks ago. Probably broke her heart. Of course she's not going to trust you 100% after that.

And there could be a million reasons why she doesn't want you at her apartment. Maybe she's not allowed to have guests, maybe her roommate is a bitch, maybe it's a mess, maybe it smells like farts. I'm shocked that you haven't asked her why she doesn't want you there.

**rico22** · 23-02-11, 01:12 PM

I haven't asked because I didin't care at first and don't want to sound like I'm crying over it...Other night.. I walk up to her door we kiss and hug.. say goodnight..and she wont open it until I leave. hahahahaha...

**Cinnabella** · 23-02-11, 01:18 PM

If her apartment is the case, I'm suggesting that she wants to know you more, your exactly attention before trust you again, you hurted her ego, she might think she wasn't good enough that's why you did that.

It can be ..... As Merryh said, her roomate is not good, or their room Is not good enough for guests, or because her parents are strict with her about sex n about men....? Ask her :-), good luck, if she let you hug and kiss I think you shouldn't think to negative options.

**MerryH** · 23-02-11, 01:26 PM

Listen to the way you talk about her:

SHe was upset, ok whatever.

I haven't asked because I didin't care

I don't know if you're trying to act like a cool dude or something, but you might want to keep this in check, especially when talking to her or people who actually know you. It makes you kind of sound like a dick.

**rico22** · 23-02-11, 01:36 PM

No no no no.. Not trying to be the "cool douche".......... I DO care about her, Im really starting to like her. At first I didnt care about apartment thing becasue we barely knew each other. Just odd to me and has never happened before, so just confused about it.

Guess both of you are right though, MerryH and Cinnabella. Could be a million reasons. /shrug

**MerryH** · 23-02-11, 02:06 PM

Okay, good.

Honestly, it probably is something stupid like it's a mess in there, or whatever. If she allowed you to walk up to her apartment and kiss her goodnight and all that, she's probably not hiding anything sinister behind that door. Don't worry about it too much.

**xxazurexx** · 23-02-11, 06:28 PM

The apartment could be a shithole and she's embarrassed to let you in. lol

Seriously, I'd be cautious with a guy who seemed to be indecisive about me. Close one minute, friends the next...then close again. It would make me wonder where I actually stood with him, etc.

**waitimConfused** · 23-02-11, 09:59 PM

Mmmm. Trust. Maybe she just doesnt want to be raped? If she lets you in , you could go all Craig list killer. lol. Jk. But seriously just ask her, tell her how you feel. and if she wont turn the lock. then walk away. Let her come back to you ;D let her know what shes missing but dont go all out on one night stands

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