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Thread: Unable to stay in a relationship for more than 3 years

  1. #1
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    Unable to stay in a relationship for more than 3 years

    I'm currently in a relationship with a wonderful guy. We have been together for 3 years and have been considering moving in together. My problem is that I am falling out of love again. I do this every time, with every guy I date. I go from believing he is the one to wanting to end it for no good reason. I feel like I can't trust myself when it comes to love. I don't like feeling responsible for anyone else's' happiness. Maybe I'm too selfish-- I don't like compromising. I don't know how to change this- Should I just accept that I will probably end up alone? I can't imagine finding a guy better than the one I have now.

  2. #2
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    Love isn't some fairy tale happy ending type of stuff.

    It takes work and commitment. The problem is most people (Myself included) can get lazy in a relationship. When that happens they start to look for the grass is greener.

    If that happens to be your case, then instead of going to look somewhere else try putting thats same amount of energy back into the relationship and see how that works out for you.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah2 View Post
    I'm currently in a relationship with a wonderful guy. We have been together for 3 years and have been considering moving in together. My problem is that I am falling out of love again. I do this every time, with every guy I date. I go from believing he is the one to wanting to end it for no good reason. I feel like I can't trust myself when it comes to love. I don't like feeling responsible for anyone else's' happiness. Maybe I'm too selfish-- I don't like compromising. I don't know how to change this- Should I just accept that I will probably end up alone? I can't imagine finding a guy better than the one I have now.
    Questions for you:

    How old are you? Only child?
    Do you have a mother and father? Yes? How was the relationship? No? Why?
    Were you ever neglected? Abandoned? Abused? (verbally, mentally, physically, sexually?)

    Let me tell you one thing I notice:
    You have yet to experience love if this is how your relationships always end: in failure.

    Nobody ends a relationship for no good reason: I suspect you do know: you just either haven't admitted it out loud OR
    You haven't dug deep enough to find the answer that is there, glaring at you in the face.

    You cannot trust yourself to love when you don't allow yourself to love/be loved.
    He should feel responsible for his own happiness: and IF he says things like this: this can be a major turn off.

    In my relationship: she doesn't make me happy: I'm already a happy soul and have been before I met her.
    What she does for me and to me: is very appreciated, reciprocated but it doesn't *make* me happy. I have to be
    willing to accept those gifts she has been willing to give me: and THIS is what happiness is. It isn't manufactured.

    If I'm not willing to accept them: for what she intends them to be: there is no connection, then why stay with someone
    you don't connect with? If you aren't happy by knowing who you are: he isn't going to make you happy either, see that?

    Being happy is knowing yourself and accepting that someone else wants to be a part of your life, as you are to theirs...
    This is true happiness...Sharing each other on every level is....but being selfish (as you are) isn't conducive for love to survive.

    If you don't like compromise? Perhaps it means you haven't learned how to? Have you had to?
    See, if you cannot compromise: you cannot be in any relationship PERIOD.

    You might as well prepare to be alone.
    Don't want to be alone? Stop being a selfish person.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by SelflessnHumble View Post
    In my relationship: she doesn't make me happy: I'm already a happy soul and have been before I met her.
    What she does for me and to me: is very appreciated, reciprocated but it doesn't *make* me happy. I have to be
    willing to accept those gifts she has been willing to give me: and THIS is what happiness is. It isn't manufactured.
    Yes​​​​​​​​​​​​​.

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