My sad story.. Is there anyway for us to be good friends again?

[Artur Soares]

By this text you'll notice i'm a very shy person.. Well.. Here it is:

I'll share you my little story..
Some years ago (about 6), I met a girl.. I feel in love with her..
We started talking and we became really good friends...
We were at the same class but changed about 3 years after we met..
After some time she started calling me as her 'best friend'..
To be honest i don't believe in 'best friends'.. Just in 'good friends' and this might be the reason i don't..
About 2 years ago she, we still talked with each other every day! But suddenly in some day she began to ignore some of my messages... As i thought she might think i was being kinda boring by texting all day (she used to text me too all day) i stopped beginning conversations in the morning and started to wait until she wanted to talk to me..
And so it was..
When she started to talk in the morning i would answer, but if she stopped i would bore her.. After 2 weeks of this, she stopped texting me..
For the next months i sent her 2 or 3 sms from time to time and she sometimes answered my messages unlike me who always answered when she asked me for anything..
Since i thought i would be forgotten, i thought it didn't matter so in one of the few conversations we had, i told her what i used to feel about her (note that in this point i already knew i couldnt do nothing.. it was even hard to be regular friends)

During that time she had 2 boyfriends which didn't last much but after i told her that, she started to talk to me again.. But still nothing compared to what we used to.. Some days after that i found that she had a new boyfriend..
It seems this last one is doing fine with her and it will last longer than the others..

Some months have passed now and we rarely speak with each other (different universities make it harder for me to see her)
Luckly for me after some years of "torture" i now dont feel what i used to feel about her but still i really wanted us to be good friends.


PS: You might think its strange i used to always talk to her through SMS.. Well.. She used to spend every moment with her group of friends and it was kinda strange to talk to her inside that group.. When i talked to her in the group its like she ignored me.. She would only answer when she was alone which was very rare so it was better to text her..


So my 2 questions are:
- Have i done something wrong or i never had any chance? If i you think i did something wrong, please tell me so i won't have the same mistake with other girl.
- Is there anyway we can preserve our friendship?

Thanks

[DarkHelmet82]

whats more important to you.. friendship with her or a romantic relationship with her.. I dont think you can have both... if you want a friendship you still have one... I talk to my best friend a few times a month.. hes still my best friend.... see what im saying.. your friendship will always be there as long as you dont enter into the romantic zone.... once you do that.. i dont know of many that are able to salvage friendships.. it has happened but not often...

[toronto-r]

she'll talk to you. she's just distracted by her boyfriends... relax, the friendship is there

[ralary]

friendship is good for all of us,and if you can be friends,it is great

[Artur Soares]

whats more important to you.. friendship with her or a romantic relationship with her.. I dont think you can have both... if you want a friendship you still have one... I talk to my best friend a few times a month.. hes still my best friend.... see what im saying.. your friendship will always be there as long as you dont enter into the romantic zone.... once you do that.. i dont know of many that are able to salvage friendships.. it has happened but not often...

What used to be important was a romantic relationship.. But now it isn't.. There is a time when someone knows he can't have something more or at least i think i know that time.. And that time has come long ago.. That's why my "new goal" is to preserve friendship..
Probably is because we are ageing, but i notice a big difference on our behaviour.. We used to speak everyday and have funny conversations, now its something like "Hi, how's the exams going? Fine what about yours? Fine too. Bye"
Since i'm so shy, I never had many friends and hard to lose some of the few friends i had
Specially the so called "Good Friends"..

she'll talk to you. she's just distracted by her boyfriends... relax, the friendship is there

That's what i'm not sure about.. I sure hope so..
It's normal for her to be distracted with her boyfriend and not saying anything to me when she is with him, specially because her boyfriend hates me (because she probably told him what i felt for her)..
But still when she isn't with him, she doesn't act like she used..



Thanks

[DarkHelmet82]

ask her about it... if you guys are that close I dont see the problem in her being honest.

[Cinnabella]

Lol, she had a bf n need to keep boundaries with ya, surprise? You seem don't have only pure friendship toward her, I would do the same if I'm her.

[Artur Soares]

Lol, she had a bf n need to keep boundaries with ya, surprise? You seem don't have only pure friendship toward her, I would do the same if I'm her.

After reading what i wrote it actually looks like that, but believe me. I do have only pure friendship. I really don't want anything more right now.
It was just too much time without anything to happen.
Many years passed since i feel in love with her and if nothing would happen, i had to mentalize myself i should stop thinking about it...
In the beginning it was hard not to think of her, but in time (some months) those feelings started to fade.

Now, I don't love her but when i remember the good times we had (as friends), I don't want that to end.

I know you must be thinking its odd to say i don't love her and coming to a forum like this. Well, I think friendship is also really important, and i just wanted to know what i did wrong, so i don't make the same mistake with other girl i might fall in love with.