Girlfriend says she loves me but isn't sure she's in love with me

[relationshipadv]

Backstory:

I'm 25 and my GF is 26.I have been dating my girlfriend now for a little more than four months. We started dating not too long after she had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship with her ex (she was living with him at the time). We were attracted to one another for several months while she was still going out with her Ex (We had been working together for 1.5 years at this point), but I did not want to do anything about it because I cared about her and I did not want to cause problems (even though I knew she did not want to be in that relationship anymore).

Anyway, one night when we were hanging out at the club, I decided I had to tell her my real feelings for her: I was worried I might ruin our friendship, but at the same time I had to know if she felt the same way about me or I would regret it forever if I never knew one way or another.

Turns out she felt the same way about me, so a few days later she tells me she broke it off with her ex, and that she was looking for a new apartment. I told her I'd be here for her to support her with her transition, but I also made it abundantly clear that I did not want to be a rebound, and she said she did not want that either and that I wasn't.

Up until last week things have been going amazing: we would spend 4-5 days a week together, dinner, going for walks together, etc. The sex was amazing (she told me she never really enjoyed sex that much, but with me it was different because we were so into each other, we knew what we wanted, etc). Within a couple months of the relationship we both told each other how much we loved one another. I made it clear to her that if she feels like I'm smothering her, or keeping her from being independent, being with her friends that she needs to tell me because I love spending as much time as possible with her, but I knew that too much time can be a bad thing. She said no and that she really loved spending time with me as well.

Anyway, last friday one night my girlfriend, her friend, and I decided we would do a hit of ecstacy after we had been drinking all night (I had never done E before, but my GF told me she had done it in the past and she really wanted me to try it with her). I loved experiencing new things with her, so of course I said yes.

I ended up having a really bad trip and apparently I said some things (I don't recall most of that night) that were disrespectful to her and her friend. The next day she cried and told me that she felt I no longer respected her and she didn't know what to do with our relationship.

I apologized for what happened, and said that I love her very much and told her that we needed to work on communicating our emotions better (we both do not show emotions easily, and I felt that was a problem because I thought everything was going great, but apparently not because something that happened once while on a drug would not upset her this much, it had to be a bunch of little things). She agreed and said that she would be more open with me about her emotions, and that it's tough because of things that happened in her past (she always kept things to herself when she was going out with her ex).

So I'm feeling a little better about the whole situation at this point until the next day when a good female coworker friend of mine, texts me and says that we need to have a drink and have a talk about my girlfriend. My gf was talking to her (gf ended up crying) at work I guess and she was saying that she felt overwhelmed and smothered and that she didn't know what to do.

I'm clearly confused at this point and don't know what to do. I know she is going through a stressful time in her life: she just broke up with her ex, school isn't going as she would like, etc. I don't like where this is heading, so I decided that for me, and for our relationship the best thing to do was to take a mini vacation (one week break). I made it very clear that I was not breaking up with her, and that I dont want to date anyone else and that she can't date anyone else. I wanted her to have some time to think about what she wants with her life and if she wants me to be apart of it. I didn't want the break, and it was hard to say that, but I care so much about her that I know this is the best thing for us right now if we want our relationship to get stronger.

Anyway, I've been trying to have zero contact for this week period. She ended up texting me on Tuesday asking to change my facebook profile picture to one without me and her in it because it was making her upset. She then started a chat with me on facebook (I didnt want to respond, but I didnt want to ignore her either, so I talked to her). The conversation started off badly with her telling me that she loved me but she's not in love with me, to eventually saying she can't wait to have me in her arms.

I have not texted or called her and she hasn't texted or called me. I really really have to make sure I have ZERO contact for the rest of this week period otherwise I will just push her farther apart from me.

Once the week is over, what should I do? I feel since I'm the one that told her I need a break, that I should be the one to reinitiate contact. What should I say? I've been thinking alot about us these past few days and I miss her a lot.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Keep zero contact, until she contacts you, regardless of this week long period. She's probably expecting that you either, can't make it a week, or will call her right as time expires. DON'T. Treat it like a break up, and start moving on. She said she felt smothered, so give her all the space in the world; don't call her first, and when she does contact you, ask her if she's decided she wants to recommit to your relationship. If she says still isn't sure, break up with her completely and tell her not to contact you unless she decides that she wants to reconcile, but you want to move on and see other people for now. If she doesn't call you within two weeks of the original start of the break, treat it as a break up and start going after other women.

[relationshipadv]

I didn't find out that I smother her directly, it was from a very close friend of mine. After I went to talk to her in the morning about the break, she told me the next day on facebook (so technically she's already contacted me) that she held back her emotions and didn't tell me what was really on her mind because she's very emotional and it's hard for her. We never really call each other to begin with, usually just through texts. It's not that we don't like to talk to each other, we both just don't like talking on the phone.

I just feel if I wait too long to get in contact with her, that could also push her away too, and Im not comfortable playing mind games to see who breaks first and contacts the other person :S