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Thread: my ego problem, but i love her..

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    my ego problem, but i love her..

    My girl has a promiscuous past, and until today... I'm still trying to deal with it. I met her a year ago through a friend and she was absolutely such a sweet girl, innocent, bright and all the right qualities, I thought she was my dream girl.

    After 6 months, most of my friends found out about us and some of them came to me and said that she was such a big whore and all that details which are too painful to listen to. So not knowing what to do next, I confronted her. She told me everything (maybe), and she totally regrets for what she had done in the past. I kind of understand why. Her parents are filthy rich, and they are workaholics. She grew up ..pretty much alone, so she didn't really get much attention.

    The problem is, I wouldn't want to date a girl that has such past..but unfortunately.. I fell for her. I love her so much, but sometimes it's really frustrating because.. okay, this is my problem, I do get embarrassed whenever she's with me. I've had enough of the rumors and stupid questions like, "hey, is she still with you??" "how are things with her?? still around??" or friends trying to advise me for not dating her and she'd hurt me in the end. Yes, it's a risk but.. so far, she's doing quite well.

    She told me she understands and I deserve not to want her as she was not being very honest at the first place. But I've decided to stay. I've made that decision..but it's still hard for me sometimes..especially with my friends. Here's the thing, she isn't like what they are perceiving of her; she's classy, confident and despite all the bad reputation, she's trying her best to conceal her image. For instance, she has cut most of her guy friends, doesn't party much, and from what I see, it seems like she has changed so much and is ready to commit. And I truly love her for that. But..maybe not so into her. I don't know.

    I've had bad experiences with my ex-girl friends.. most of them cheated on me. And that's why sometimes I do get paranoid, or I'll just ignore her (fear of getting hurt). She has always been there for me, during the hard times and whenever we had an argument, she is always the first to make it up or to apologize. And that..my big ass ego takes its toll, I feel good for dominating her and I know it's not healthy.

    Sometimes I wish I could leave her successfully (without having to keep falling back for her).. by the way I'm going to get promoted soon; secretly I wish I had more money and be able to meet someone else.. and that someone, all my friends are dying to have for. what should I do??????? **** my ego and insecurities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by queeniebee View Post
    My girl has a promiscuous past, and until today... I'm still trying to deal with it. I met her a year ago through a friend and she was absolutely such a sweet girl, innocent, bright and all the right qualities, I thought she was my dream girl.

    After 6 months, most of my friends found out about us and some of them came to me and said that she was such a big whore and all that details which are too painful to listen to. So not knowing what to do next, I confronted her. She told me everything (maybe), and she totally regrets for what she had done in the past. I kind of understand why. Her parents are filthy rich, and they are workaholics. She grew up ..pretty much alone, so she didn't really get much attention.

    The problem is, I wouldn't want to date a girl that has such past..but unfortunately.. I fell for her. I love her so much, but sometimes it's really frustrating because.. okay, this is my problem, I do get embarrassed whenever she's with me. I've had enough of the rumors and stupid questions like, "hey, is she still with you??" "how are things with her?? still around??" or friends trying to advise me for not dating her and she'd hurt me in the end. Yes, it's a risk but.. so far, she's doing quite well.

    She told me she understands and I deserve not to want her as she was not being very honest at the first place. But I've decided to stay. I've made that decision..but it's still hard for me sometimes..especially with my friends. Here's the thing, she isn't like what they are perceiving of her; she's classy, confident and despite all the bad reputation, she's trying her best to conceal her image. For instance, she has cut most of her guy friends, doesn't party much, and from what I see, it seems like she has changed so much and is ready to commit. And I truly love her for that. But..maybe not so into her. I don't know.

    I've had bad experiences with my ex-girl friends.. most of them cheated on me. And that's why sometimes I do get paranoid, or I'll just ignore her (fear of getting hurt). She has always been there for me, during the hard times and whenever we had an argument, she is always the first to make it up or to apologize. And that..my big ass ego takes its toll, I feel good for dominating her and I know it's not healthy.

    Sometimes I wish I could leave her successfully (without having to keep falling back for her).. by the way I'm going to get promoted soon; secretly I wish I had more money and be able to meet someone else.. and that someone, all my friends are dying to have for. what should I do??????? **** my ego and insecurities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Are you a female or a f___in Troll i checked your profile queenie and the above post was from a man or boy someone verrrry immature to say the least grow up go troll somwhere else loser
    Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
    Oscar Wilde

    What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
    ~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

  3. #3
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    hey you don't have to be rude. this account belongs to my sister and I'm very lazy to register. she was supposed to send in the post as a female's perspective (because I don't usually go love forums like this) and since she's out, i've decided to use hers anyway. and yes, i am immature. i'm working in a media company so image is extremely vital for me.

    sorry for the misunderstanding

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    Yeah it looks like you need to man up a bit. Read a book called "The way of the superior man" by David Deida. It will inspire you and give you a better idea of who you are and what you want for your life. At that point make the decision. And if you decide to stay with her then get new friends that support you. You are who you hang out with so if you want a better life make friends with people who are living the way you want to live. :-)

  5. #5
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    Honestly, if you don't trust her, end it. Trust is vital in a relationship. If you can get over her past, do so, because it seems like she's good to you and you appreciate her.

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    If you love her, why does what your friends say, or her past even matter??

    Who cares what people say, its you, your relationship and her. She deserves more than a man embarrassed to be seen with her, how much would that hurt you if she felt the same?
    If you cant get over her past then leave.. What is the point in being with someone you cannot just accept for who they are.

    I have a bit of a past that im not proud of.. Maybe not exactly whorish, but definitely some mistakes. I would say i am a good girl and i would never cheat on a partner.. So it doesnt really make a difference to me and most likely wouldnt to her either. Man up, accept your girl and be happy with her. If it goes wrong then so be it. But while its going good... Why worry?

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    well if you don't trust her then you should leave, but if you think she has truly changed then firstly your friends opinions shouldn't matter. Secondly maybe its your friends that are the problem. It sounds like you and her could move past all this, but you friends are still intentionally trying to take you from her out of some sort of personal grudge from a past time.It all comes down to weather you believe she is truly different now, or if its just an act.

  8. #8
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    and that's the problem guys, these friends have been for me for quite some time and when i started dating this girl, and few of them sort of became... "distanced" from me. i know it's none of their businesses, i did tell them to back off and it's my damn choice but instead, they took it the wrong way; as if i have decided to stop the friendship or something. i don't understand their problem either.

    and recently, when we hung out (with her around), one of my friends embarrassed her. so i got a bit violent (my fault), but he was really too much and so i gave him a punch in the face. this hurts me... i am usually a cool guy (because of my ego) but i don't why this time i went crazy. since that incident, we never really talk. i just lost a buddy.

    because of all these, i kinda lost interest in her..maybe i should end it sooner or later..

  9. #9
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    What has she done in her past to make your friends dislike her so much?

  10. #10
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    Well isnt that nice.. what kind of friends do you have if they cannot be happy for you?
    They embarrassed your girlfriend in front of you, when you both went to hang out with them.. Thats right up disrespect and you shouldnt care if you lost him as a buddy IMO.
    I understand that the hassle that comes with this relationship is probably more than your willing to put up with. So yes, definitely end it with her if you or your friends cant get over this..

    And yes, im curious to exactly what she has done that your friends find the need to embarrass her? You and your friends sound young.. Or maybe just a tad immature to go as far trying to embarrass her by being mean..
    Humiliating somebody in front of people to embarrass, was something we grew out of in high school..

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