heartbreak

[geolink]

ok so heres my deal that has caused me so much pain it is unthinkable.


So I am 28 and she is 20.
we have been together for just about 2 years.
I am currently in the army and i cannot see her whenever i please that is until july when i finish.
We would talk on the phone though about 3 times a day for a good amount of time.
However 3 days before my bday feb 11, she said that she feels pressured and that we need a break.I know that she is 20 and saying to many i love yous and i miss yous are somewhat stressful but thats how i felt. I asked her if this was her way to tell me that we are breaking up and she said that is the least that i would like. It is hard being away and this is the most crucial time in my life and having that having that happening is ridiculous.
I was shocked and this was hard so i decided to respect her decision as there is nothing i can do from here until march where i get 20 days off and head home.
My birthday came and she did not even call she just sent a simple text "happy birthday". I was crushed and called immidiately to demand an explanation on how she can do that after 2 years of having an excellent time together.
She said that we are on break and that at least i did not forget.

Anyway i scratched that off and we continued not to talk. Some hello messages on facebook and how are you doing made me think that she actually cared.
We talked on the phone the other day and i asked how she was and she would say in a fun tone...GOOD amazing etc.
Im like do you even care? She did not answer.
The following day we talked on facebook a bit and my father has been in a crisis in the hospital with 2 surgerys.
Its hard not being able to be there for the people you care the most but i kept composure.
I asked her again why are we not talking on the phone and she said we just need a break.
Im like ok, simply because i am far away and cannot understand what she is thinking /what is on her mind.
So after that the next day, she untags herself from our pictures together on facebook and removes the "father/daughter" status of us on facebook for some reason.
We talked again and i ask her what is going on se said "nothing" then in a weird manner implied that we should break up.
She knows i am coming in march as we discussed when i would get my time off, and she insisted that i would get it in march (our anniversary) so we can spend it together so i had planned everything and paid for everything in advance; hotels and spas and stuff like that that she enjoys. i could have been home on my birthday but she insisted in march for our anniversary.

So after the breakup i asked that we talk on the phone because its downright stupid to do that on facebook and ask for an explanation.
I asked why would we break up and told that i do not understand whats going on especially from here. I do have feelings and i do love her and she knows it. She knows thatis nothing i wouldnt do for her and i have proved this so many times in the past.
Her answer to why are we breaking up is..........drumroll........."because"
i asked this twice with the same answer.
I got a because to a breakup reason.
Again crushed i told her that that is not fair and she replied again that there is nothing she can do.

I dont know what to do. she always was mature asbout things even though she is young and perhaps not lived life as I have.
this girl was so into me and told me this every day.
Now i get this.

Help. I love this girl with my all but i dont know what to do
im freaking out.
what can i do to get her back?

She completes me.

thanks in advance

[MerryH]

So, the short version:

-Girl says she's feeling pressured and wants some space.
-You do not give her any space.
-Girl breaks up with you.

You pushed her away with your overbearing nature. Things you did that were overbearing:

She texts you a nice "Happy Birthday" and instead of appreciating the gesture, you immediately called her to "demand an explanation" when you're supposed to be chilling the **** out and leaving her alone. You get mad at her when you ask her "How are you?" and she's says she's doing great. Why do you have a problem with this? You should be happy that she's happy. If I'm putting together the timeline correctly, it seems like you continued to call her just about every day after she asked you to back off.

You messed it up and there's no way to fix this without forcing yourself on her again. I think it's time that you actually leave her alone now.

[Sunnybeach7]

I'm sorry, guy. It would seem that she is truly not as mature as you thought. She owes you an explanation, which unfortunately you will likely never have.

From what you have said, this is the feeling I get... and I'm not saying that it's accurate, but from the way she seems to be acting...I'd bet there is someone else in the picture.

Being so young is one factor. A long distance relationship is never easy for either partner. She was inconsiderate to your feelings. She said she was what? Amazing? <--- Some other guy is making her feel that way, OR it was supposed to be some kind of hint that she's been enjoying her time away from you ???

Lots of questions and no answers. You seem like a nice guy and deserve much better than what you've had handed to you. With the other things going on in your life, you don't need this.

It's truly unfair, but I think you need to be prepared to let her go. See if you can get money back for the plans you made, or send your parents as a gift?

You are really young, and I know you're hurting right now, and you may feel like you will never find anyone else that can make you feel the way she did...but you will. I can almost guarantee it.

[geolink]

ok i know but the fact of the matter is that i was shocked.

How do i go about getting her back?

Its been 3 days since we talked. and i feel like she does love me and that we can work this.

like i dunno as much pain as this has caused me i do feel that she is the one.

I know where she works...Should i just go there when i am off the army and at least ask her for a real reason?
I mean i know she neglected me and all but im lost and i feel that maybe we can work this out.

[Sunnybeach7]

You could try...but if she refuses, then you are going to have to accept that you are not going to get an answer.

From all the times she said "because", it tells me she doesn't want you to know the real reason, which you will have to figure out on your own

[MerryH]

I know where she works...Should i just go there when i am off the army and at least ask her for a real reason.

WTF, no! Did you read anything I wrote? Not that you're obligated to take my advice or anything, but please go back and read it again. She broke up with you because you didn't respect her space. Invading her space yet again is not going to help you. Do not go to her work. That would fall into the obsessive stalker category. Any contact you have with her should be well thought out, reasonable, and respectful. It's only been three days. Leave her alone for a long time.

[geolink]

ok.

i do agree. and sorry bout that.

What if she talks to me on facebook?

what do i do what do i say?