i cant shake this women, but i wont get rid of her.

[ltj5253]

Theres this one girl that i recently got to know, about 2 months ago. shes really nice, beautiful, etc. but theres quite a few problems.

no matter what i cant get her mad.
she acts wierd often. like talks stupid completely for no reason.
not emotional at all.
no body language at all.

and i got the big F word from her. (friends ) but i dont care because its just nice to be around her. friends is actually fine for me this time. typically by now i would have fallen for a girl like her, but not this time. i dont understand it. i cant get mad at her, i cant get her to take any steps forward whatsoever. i just have been trying to go with the flow, but now its just getting annoying. i really want to know what the hell is going on, or where this is going. maybe you guys can help me because i sure as hell cant figure this one out.

[Junket]

I don't even quite understand the question...

[Heddy]

My guess is she's scared to express herself or show how she feels simply because she's scared of being hurt. Also some people can't get mad it sounds weird but i havnt been able to get mad since i was 10 lol i can get annoyed but nothing else. Oh another thing is if you can't get mad at her and she can't get mad at you then maybe she feels the same way as you do. But don't ask her out until she feels comfortable with talking bout her feeling with you itll cause far to much heart break and she will probably turn you down out of fear of being hurt. (this is assuming i'm correct about her fear)
Now the next question is do you care enough about her to help her express herself coz chances are it'll take awhile. If so then you need to to keep bugging the hell out of her lol that'll be the only way she's sure you care. Ask her how she feels about stuff (prefably stuff that concerns her and you when you need help with things so she feels like how she feels matters to you) Keep on doing this until she willingly gives you her opinion on what you are wearing etc (remember when she tells you always make it so you really value how she feels) Once you have her comfortable with telling you how she feels ask tell her you really care about her and ask her how she feels back. Now if she says she cares about you but only as a friend then drop it and continue being only her friend. But if she only says she cares about you too then you may have won your case after this it's pretty straight forward coz all you have to do is ask if she wants to be more than friends with you. (please remember to ask her this instead of asking her on a date asking someone on a date isn't very reassuring)
Oh and one last thing when telling you you care etc do so via texting or msn etc She will be still struggling with expressing how she feels and it's much easier to do so when you can't see or hear the person you're expressing too. Best of luck

[ltj5253]

thanks dude. one thing i dont understand is how many threads i help people out with and then once i ask for help and can only ever get one response.

[Heddy]

I know it's annoying the one time i asked for help nobody helped me but eh oh well

[sfalexi]

I say leave her alone. It'll only keep annoying you until you can't take it anymore. And she already has you labeled as a "friend". It sucks, but spare yourself the grievances.

[King Zarathu]

#1)Try going for her, again.
#2)Just enjoy being friends.
#3)Get rid of her.
#4)Avoid her until she goes away.

These are your options. I labelled each one carefully.

Now, it occurs to me like she's ****in' with you {teasing}. She's hott, nice, smart.. you want her sooooo bad, but you aren't gonna get her unless you try somethin different.

#1)No offense, but if you choose this, give me your address so I can come to your house and slap the shit out of you, because you're just going to set yourself up for the same shit. She knows you want her, it's obvious I'm sure, and you're just going to get the same responce over and over again until the cows come [home--which means never (had to make it ID10T proof).

#2)Now, if you just enjoy being friends with her, you're going to feel that tension again, and you're going to want her more and more as you see her--unless friends is all you want *kicks you "GO FOR HER!"* and then you're going to end up doing #1) again, and feeling like shit--again. I hate that word now. Actually, I hate #1) too.

#3)Hmmm... Sounds like the mission here is you want to have her for you right? Getting rid of her.. well, that's kinda harsh dude. 'Nuff said.

#4)Ok, remember what you told me about avoiding? I tried the shit, it works like a ****in' charrrrrrm dude. Now, because y'all aren't in a relationship {YET, hehe}, you can easily just **** w/ her head and be as rude and obnoxious as you want to be. A mixture of sweetness, humor, and weed we'll be good. Well...forget the weed. Don't call her for a week or somethin, and if she ever tries to call you just let the phone ring. If she starts to leave a message (major IF she does, people like myself HATE voicemail) just pick up the phone and say "Hey sorry I'm a little busy right now I'm having sex, can you call tomorrow or somethin?" Laugh n shit while you're saying that, but make sure she knows you're kidding (well **** dude if you can say that seriously that means -1 of a problem lol). You need to be pretty funny in the occasional times that she does see you, and give off the impression like you couldn't care less about the way she thinks of you, and she isn't good enough to deserve some of your occupied time. Whenever you start to descend in your "Avoiding" level, make sure that you're having a VERY good phone call (make her laugh) and then "Oh hey I got to go..." If she's like "Wait.. why?" this is a VERY good sign.. with a reply "I just got some stuff do to, I'll talk to you later." *CLICK* hang up before she does


If you don't know how to make her laugh, come hang out at my place for a bit bro i'll train u up lol.



Tit-for-tat



=[LT]sK8eR2gO < n'zizzle >

[ltj5253]

dude sk8er you couldnt have said it better. i preach so much stuff around here, and then when i have a problem with the same complications, i cant answer it. its a real complicated situation tho. it was like it all started when i talked to her for the first time in 2 years. she showed a real high interest in me. something of which rarely happens. then SHE asked me out, and then for no damn reason, called off the date to go with her girlfriends to the state college to get drunk. but i just shrugged it off, and then asked her if she wanted to go out again. she said ok, but then her sister came in from NY, which was true. but now it seems that she just wants to be friends, which im cool with, simply because i know she wont put out anyway. the major problem lies in this...

1. her girlfriends are always put first. no matter what.
2. she is one of those athletic people.

SO....
if shes not playing sports or exercising, shes always with her girls. so its a no win situation ive come to establish.
BUT...
if a woman is really interested in you, she will make time for you. which she clearly did, by asking ME out, not ME asking her out.
THEN...
she calls it off to go get drunk with her girls.

you see what im saying?????????

[King Zarathu]

Dude... it's a ****in' tease man! You're stronger than that man! Come on dude.. don't let her **** with you like that!

You need to show her that shit right back at her--****in' show that YOU are too busy for HER.

Answer this question: Are you the one in control of the situation?!

The answer is, NO you are NOT! Why? Because you're the one bein' all ****ed up over this. Face it--it's rippin you up inside.. make it rip her up.

Check this out:

1) Being independent

2) Being indifferent

3) Being funny

4) Being socially adjusted

Before I get into each of these in detail, I want
to mention something...

Usually, I tend to stick to techniques to help
you meet more women, or give you advice to get past
limiting beliefs, etc.

I've realized recently that there are a few BASIC,
FUNDAMENTAL things that we, as guys, need to really
"get" about interacting with other people before we
start trying to learn advanced stuff, like how to
approach and meet women. If you don't have some of
the basic stuff handled, all the fancy techniques in
the world won't fix your problem.

So stick with me here, this is important stuff.

OK, so let's talk about the four components that
I mentioned above.

BEING INDEPENDENT

Independent is the OPPOSITE of "dependent".

When you act "dependent", you lean on others, you
look to them for approval, you ask what they think
before you make a decision, you tend to want to stay
physically close to them, and your feelings tend to
depend on what others feel and think of you.

When you act INDEPENDENT, you lean back, you do
things because YOU decided you wanted to, you don't
ask others what they think - instead you decide yourself,
you are fine walking away from your friends for awhile
when you're out, and your feelings are controlled by
what YOU think, not what others think.

A "dependent" person will go into a bar with friends,
stick close to them all night, ask what everyone else
is drinking before they order, get upset easily about
things that others say, and constantly be looking for
attention and approval in some way.

An INDEPENDENT person, on the other hand, will
go into a bar with friends and be more likely to...
walk away and look around the place ALONE to see who's
there - and feel fine about striking up a conversation
and leaving their friends for awhile... They'll order
a drink if they want, or water if they want - and not
care what everyone else is drinking... They'll be cool
and calm no matter what happens - even if others are
getting upset around them... And, most importantly,
they aren't looking to others for attention and approval.
They're doing their own thing, and enjoying whatever
happens.

BEING INDIFFERENT

Most people in this world are ATTACHED to the outcomes
of things. They're constantly worrying about what's
going to happen... and talking about the future in
a fearful, uncertain way.

This type of person always wants to know what other
people think of them, and they're worrying about what
they should do so other people like them. Unfortunately,
this almost ALWAYS comes across as INSECURITY.

An INDIFFERENT person, on the other hand, just
goes about life and takes things as they come.

The indifferent person is INDIFFERENT to the outcome
of whatever situation they're in.

If it's a man, and he's approaching a woman, he
will be OK with whatever happens. If she's nice to
him, great. If she's uptight, no problem. If she's
rich, famous, and beautiful... and starts coming on
to him, fine. No big deal.

When you are ATTACHED to the outcome of a situation,
it makes you act all kinds of freaky. You pause, act
nervous, hold back, look for approval, act insecure...
and any of 100 other unattractive things.

On the other hand, when you're INDIFFERENT to the
outcome, it makes you MAGNETIC. Especially when it
comes to women and dating. Indifference is the
ultimate way to show a LACK of insecurity in life.

BEING FUNNY

Humor is magic.

It's a complete mystery why we find things "funny"
and why we "laugh".

Crying because someone died makes some logical
sense. It's a bad thing, and crying expresses a
negative emotion.

But when you see a dog run into a window because
he doesn't see it... and he gets a confused look on
his face, you LAUGH. What's with that?

Humor is interesting to me, in that if you're
funny, it makes people FEEL GOOD inside. They
laugh, and it triggers positive feelings.

If you're not naturally funny, it's a great skill
to learn. Read books. Watch live comedy. Do whatever
it takes to learn how to be funny.

Most of the "coolest" guys I know are wickedly
funny. Some of them are only funny on occasion...
but they "get it"... and when they do make a joke,
it's DAMN funny.

BEING SOCIALLY ADJUSTED

I know that this sounds funny, but most of the
people I know who are "UN-cool" are not very adjusted
socially.

They lack a certain something in the "social skills"
department that makes it OBVIOUS to others (and especially
women) that they don't know how to relate very well
to other people. They just never learned how to make
others feel comfortable around them.

If you've every known an accountant or computer
programmer that was brilliantly smart, but totally
boring, you know what I mean.

If people act kind of nervous, strange, and uncomfortable
when they're around you, then you also know where
I'm coming from on this.

I can't teach you how to make people feel comfortable
around you in two sentences, but if you need to learn
how to mix with people socially, then start PAYING
ATTENTION to what's going on around you.

Watch how others dress, hold themselves, walk,
and talk. Pay attention to little details... like
saying "What's up?" when you meet someone new, instead
of "Hello, pleased to meet you" and such.

...now, is this all there is to being "cool"?

Of course not.

But it's a great start.

If you can first get yourself to the place where
other people want to be around you just because they
enjoy your company, you'll find that taking things
to the next level with women will be about 10 times
easier.

I've had this conversation with MANY of the guys
I know who are successful with women, and they all
basically say the same thing... you have to learn
how to be "cool" and make others (women) feel comfortable
just being in the same room with you. And if you're
"cool", this happens almost instantly. If you're not
"cool", then you're going to have a hard time making
ANYONE feel comfortable with you... never mind having
a woman feel ATTRACTION for you.

[ltj5253]

dude its not a tease, trust me. ive been there done that to the absolute max. i know damn well that shes not. shes just like pure independent women and pretty much doesnt keep commitments. yea gay. i know. she wants something, and then doesnt because shes busy off shedding her independence. its really complicated to explain. its the best i can do.


and no, shes always done this. it wasnt like she just pulled sports and constant hanging out with her friends out of her ass. she doesnt have her priorities straight i think. its not that big of a deal to me tho because we havent gotten close at all. its just like lets be friends, and she REALLY means it. and it really pisses me off.

im done with her, but i just wish i could get an answer this question, simply because i cannot answer it. and its driving me nuts.

[King Zarathu]

i wish i could get an answer

then why don't you ask?

i cannot answer it

you aren't in the place to answer, she is

[ltj5253]

i will ask her tomarrow, and ill tell you what happens

[King Zarathu]

Sweet ass.. i wanna hear this. ****in' suspension..
HURRY UR ASS UP~!

hehe

[ltj5253]

here you go sk8er!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i very firmly asked her, after she slapped my ass, i was like so honestly where do you think YOU and I are going?

she was just like what do you mean? i was like you know damn when what i mean, im not putting up with this emotional baggage for free, so you either give me an answer, or im moving on. im not running around with you in little circles anymore.

she was like i cant answer that right now.

and i was like yea i thought it was no, like i said im done with you. later.


and i got that ass slap out of no where, simply because i used my little trick. i disappeared for like a week, and she was wondering what happened to me.
haha even more porrf that it works like a charm.

so there ya go BRO!!!!!!!!

[King Zarathu]

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!