Lying to women

[rico22]

How do I get myself to stop lying to women? I hate lying soo much but sometimes I feel like im put in situations where lying is the best option.

For example, girl is doubting my commitment towards her, she doubts I really care for her. She gets insecure. So I start saying things to charm her and calm her down even If I dont mean them.... Girl Im with now, told me she loves me, I dont love her yet... too eary too fast.. but I go ahead an say it back just to calm her down... ugh.. makes me feel soooo bad...

[AirbenderAang]

Well you can always try to correct a lie. You can be honest about your true feelings and apologize for not being completely truthful.

On the other hand, this is not always the best course of action. Sometimes you can do more harm than good in trying to correct a lie. I can think of two major factors that affect how burdensome a lie is. The first factor is the seriousness of the subject matter. If the subject matter is inconsequential, it is known as a "white lie" and most everyone thinks they are okay. If the subject matter is very serious, then a lie will be much more harmful.

The second factor is the discrepancy between the lie and the truth. If the discrepancy is small, usually you can let the lie go by with a relatively clean conscious. The main exception is if the subject matter is very serious. When the subject matter is serious even small discrepancies can be very meaningful.

Therefore you have to ask yourself how serious your is lie. It sounds like this is a serious enough lie that it will continue to seriously affect your relationship. You do not want to "live a lie." If you don't correct it, your girlfriend is going to believe that you love her when you don't. Meanwhile, you are going to continue feeling like a fraud. Be upfront and honest. It will definitely suck, but it will help you develop courage.

Lastly, lying is only the best option when you do not want to face the consequences of telling the truth. This is a case where the truth is hard, but it is the right thing for both parties. Develop your courage and you will be able to overcome the pressure to lie.

[Spring Haze]

Are you scared of losing these women, or scared to end a relationship, and that's why you're lying? The two examples provided suggest that may be what's happening.

[lahnnabell]

Agreed that most people lie to produce a certain result because their either afraid of certain truths or consequences, unless you're a pathological liar (which would mean everything you say could be a lie).

Are you afraid that if you don't lie to this women that you'll be left alone? If so, why are you gauging your sense of self-worth according to the women you date?

[CraigT]

Listen to 'Airbender'

Be honest with yourself. The small pain of being honest in the beginning is much
easier to take than being honest later on. Get used to looking in the future and seeing
the concequences of your words today.

It's all a learning process

CraigT aneed4change

[leoben]

She's displaying an emotional need and you're soothing it, part of the exchange in any good relationship. If she really wanted the truth from you she wouldn't be freaking out the minute it seemed you weren't ready to return her affection. She would be calm and accepting of it.

If you're worried about leading her on by saying “I love you” there are other more subtle ways to make your intended relationship status clear to her. I don't suggest starting a conversation about how you don't really love her yet unless you want to break up.

[Marcconi]

Honesty works in 98% of the time..
2 % are reserved for lie, so, yeah, I support lies sometimes.

[sadie_genie]

You don't have to lie to all women. Some women, like me, find honesty very refreshing. Even if the truth isn't what you want to hear, sometimes it brings people closer together.

[falnangel]

Please don't lie to a girl about loving her, that's the worst.

Honesty is always the best policy. If she flips out, then she's not the girl for you.

[karmaa]

Yes indeed honesty is the best policy. Once you start a lie you will have to lie another hundred times just to cover up your first lie and this goes on and on and eventually no one will believe you. So stop lying