Help! Too complex?

[Sarcasticshoe]

First off, thank-you for reading this, I really need some input... I will try to keep this as short as humanly possible.

We've been dating 6 months, He's 31 and I'm 22. We are both pretty well established, jobs etc. Before him I was in a 2.5 yr relationship that when it became very serious he bailed.**literally disappeared and would not answer his phone... ran away to Kentucky (we were engaged) B (the current beau) and I were close friends towards the end of my relationship with J. 15 days before J and I ended officially, B and I hooked up for those two weeks. J finally got back to me and we ended things mutually. A few weeks later B and I made it official but kept it to our selves for another month before going public. (*I used to work with B's mother)

2 months in to the relationship, I find out I'm pregnant to B.. he insists I get an abortion (which I did) then, 5 days later he dumps me because: his family decided that I was a person of loose morals ... essentially a w***e.
** He dumped me because his mother, grandmother and grandfather banned me from coming to visit him and told him the whole family hated me**
*** The mother and family are unaware that B has lived a crazy life, wild hookups, one night stands, 3somes, 4somes, etc... she thinks he's a saint or something LOL... NOT THE CASE

Over time, I have gotten to the bottom of it, apparently his mom was told things about my past by friends, family, co-workers, etc... I'll come clean, I f**ked up bad in my past, hooked up with people I shouldn't, did things just for attention, drugs/alcohol abuse... worst off, cheated on J with two guys, a few months before the relationship ended. There is no excuse for what I did, but I've come to terms with it... I won't do what I did again, ever. I've been cheated on before, I've been physically abused and mentally belittled. I know the pain it causes. (J also cheated on me, with a co-worker)

J neglected me horribly, he said things he knew would make me happy (like talking about kids, a house, the wedding) to get into my pants... He'd say he was coming over to hang out ... then wouldn't show up or call.. Being with him was awful towards the end, and I should have left it but couldn't find the courage to do so, so I just effed it up =(

B is aware of my past and accepts me for who I am.. But his mother, and his family cannot. She continues to gossip to people about me. She says things about me behind my back. I hear what she's been saying from a few people who care about me but are also friends with her. It's been 4 months since his mother forced him to break up with me. I am unbanned from coming over, but am only allowed to visit 1 day a week and I must leave by 11:00pm... Most recently, while she was S**t talking about me, she is now accusing me of sleeping with 2 other guys in the same time period when I was first starting to see B, which is absolutely not the case. (I went on a group blind date, that was prearranged before B and I became official and I got permission from him to attend that one date)
***
It's a hot mess..... Any thoughts on what to do about the whole situation? We're so happy together but it seems like this thing with his family is going to be the Achilles heel.

[xxazurexx]

You know what, if you are both happy with each other, why give a crap what his mum might be saying? She's just going off 'hearsay' and in regard to what you did/didn't do, etc in the past and probably without ever even having met you, or taking an opportunity to get to know you better. I can't abide people who will judge people and based upon a few mistakes from the past. Because people have made mistakes, doesn't make them a 'bad' or a horrible person.

He's a 31 year old guy, old enough now and to make his own choices in life and he's chosen you and despite what his family may be saying, or that they may not like that fact.

If you end up with him, just ensure you move far away from them, then they can't interfere.

[Sarcasticshoe]

currently, he views our relationship as such... he knows his mom does not agree but he is standing by my side because he chose me... I'm a little nervous that he may give up on us, because he has to stand up for me all the time against his family... that's a really hard place to be in.. I've been in a relationship where I was in his shoes. Its so tough.

[devonbrown]

I understand it is tough having to defend your relationship to family and other people you care for, but if he really wants to be with you, he will continue to do it or tell them to leave him alone.

You are both adults and can make your own decisions. And while it may be a tough situation, if he makes a decision based upon what other people think, then he is probably not mature enough to be in a relationship with in the first place.

Be strong, be yourself, and don't let anyone get you down. You need to feel that you are the first prize, not the booby prize.

Good luck.

[IncognitoSir]

LOL, dude is 31 and is mom runs his life!!!!! LOLOLO and WTF is a group blind date??? Anyways, it's not complex at all, it's extremly simple. If he loves you and you love him, you two need to go stand on your own two feet and stop allowing mommy to come between ya'll. It's that simple. Damn, I can't believe he's 31 and can't make his own life decisions. I think any other chick would of left him already.