Diary of a Cheating Partner

[nemale71]

Sorry to start a new thread but this is where I am at, up to now, all out of my system...

My partner (Al) and I have been together for 10 years. Not married. She has a son T who was 3 when we met. He regards me as Dad. Had a daughter R who is now 7. Had a lot of ups and downs. Almost separated last August. Very serious, both sides of family told (except for kids) - due to her being drunk and hitting me around head one night, and then again the next night. She blames alcohol mixed with Champix smoking tablets for violent outburst. She told her family she just slapped me and doesn't understand why I want to leave her, I'm 'loosing the plot' because I'm self-employed, work home all day and sit in the same room in the evening.

In order to split we have to sell the house. We both see solicitors. Housing market is dead, living together is a nightmare. By end of November we decide to try again. I can't bare to leave my daughter - biggest pull on my heartstrings, plus the rubbish Al may fill her head with, about how I just left them.

Things have been okay from then to now. I am trying my best. She is unhappy with her job (been there 6 years) and wants to leave but their aren't many jobs going at the moment. Wants me to move out of house to an office, pursue my goal of earning more so she can work less. Wants us to buy a new house (ours a little small with 2 kids and me working from living room). We've had a few nasty spats and arguements, she drinks 2 or 3 times a week. Friday - bottle of 13% wine, 2-3 cans lager until almost passed out. Saturday - 3 cans lager. Sunday 3-4 lagers. Maybe bottle of wine on Wednesday. Sometimes after 1 bottle she starts getting unhappy, grumpy, finds me irritating, I find her irritating. I'll drink 3-4 lagers on Friday and again on Saturday.

I thought we were both trying to work together until I stumbled across some singles website cookies which aroused suspision. The following is an ongoing dairy of events. The question is would you stay, try to help her, save the family, possibly have it thrown in my face again? or go? regain my life (currently 40), find someone loving and caring?

References in the diary below.
Al is my partner. T is my son. R is my daughter. Sh is Alison's girl friend, lives about 60 miles away.
G is my friend (male) lives alone, stays with his girlfriend during the week and weekends.
PK is male, 37, Al's age, same class at school. Lives about 10 miles away. Probably connected through Facebook. He is married, 2 kids.
DL is male, 27. Al used to rent a room to him when he was at college. He left when I moved in. Flirty relationship, went to far in SMS, I asked her to stop. She said she would but didn't. He now lives on the other side of the planet in Sydney, but still keeps in touch via Facebook and SMS. (hence times below with Syd - Sydney time)

DIARY

Monday 7 Feb
9.52am - Call received from PK


Thursday 17 Feb
12.39am: Shot of her in mirror wearing dress (checking how it looks)
3.25pm: 2 facial profile shots taken


Friday 18 Feb
Al receives MMS of DLs cock? Image on her phone with this time stamp.


Saturday 19 Feb
Al takes face profile shots of herself (facebook, other site, MMS?)


Wednesday 23 Feb
Al takes more face profile shots of herself (facebook, other site, MMS?)

Alison received call from teenage girl who is rude to her on phone, girl says she had a call from our landline. Al demands who it is. Girl hangs up. Al annoyed, questions me and T. I don't know, T doesn't know. I check my mobile for number, so does T, I check address book on computer. T phones number, speaks to man/boy. Al's concludes 'its starting to look like it was something to do with you(me) who made call to her/him. Al checks T's phone, turns out it was his friend K... no trust in me or apology.


Sunday 13 March
G cancelled me going round to his. I told Al I was staying in to watch BAFTA's with her. She isn't happy. Makes out it isn't a problem but definitely not happy. Have I infringed on her 'Al Time' - when she has the house to herself, me out, kids upstairs in bed?

Alison got quite drunk, not happy, irritated. Complains she needs 'Al Time'. I went to bed, left her downstairs. She comes to bed later, gets in, wakes me as she does, pushes back against me almost pushing me out of bed. I push back against her, she turns, starts kicking me out of bed. I loose temper, drag her by ankles to edge of bed. She says, 'come on then'. I kneel on bed, hold her face by chin - let go. Not worth it, I back off shouting her to grow up, very angry, I sleep downstairs. Valentine's day ruined! Blame her frustration at me not going out.


Thursday 3 March
Went around to visit G: 7.20-10.40pm
Al received a call from PK at 19.57 - (has he travelled to our house?)
Al called PK at 20.24
Got home from G's. Al told me she had walked to local shop for wine (she never walks anyway!) - best grey boots now in porch by front door. Would have used back door if walking to or back from shops. Wouldn't have worn best boots.

Assuming from KeyLogger transcript below she was picked up and taken/returned by PK?

Facebook transcript Al and PK:

Al : 7.46pm : Would you be pissed if I said that I have been on such a high today that I have totally crashed now.. I wanted to see you so badly that I sort of got my head in a place where I wasnt after all.

I just red that back and makes no frickin sense at all.. I hope you kind of know what I meant. I hit a low when I thought that it would just be me and my wine after all. I'm gonna have topJust read that back did you make any sense of it!

8.30 - 9pm : Al not there, T using YouTube, she must have gone for wine.

Al: 9.47pm : Jeez you shook me right up. I didn't come looking for this. Even when things were so bad at the end of last year, I didnt go looking for this. Please be patient I have a massive past with men and I have been such a good girl for a very long time. Really need to be careful darling there is massive risk on both sidWe have to be sooo very careful too. But I have'nt felt like this about someone for many years. I'm not so good at Hello sweethear and I havnt felt like this for yea. 2 mins then I can give you some time Paul. but I want to see you again very much. I was kinda hoping I wouldnt fancy you so seeing you tonight really knocked me over. Paul listereallI

On return from Glens Alison very happy about 'Alison Time'. Happy for me to go to Glen's twice a week. She's feeling very sexy, horny. What was she doing to herself, or Paul doing with her while I was out. Had sex later in bed, Alison asks if I really love her still several times, along with 'who is my favourite girl?'


Friday 4 March

Facebook at work to PK:

Al: 3:35pm : I'll do anything you want babe, yoru making me sooo hot again. I just want to give you the biggest hard on and then take it anywhere you want to give it to me.

PK: 4.27pm : I will do every hole every way angel. X

Facebook at work to DL:

Al: 4:16pm : Baby get on your knees. Lap at me until I cum in your face.

DL: Mmmmmmmm.... I would love to. Tracing my tongue up your thighs, then all around your gorgeous smooth pussy... spreading yor legs wide and exploring both your holes with my tongue... forcing my tongue into you, then lapping hard across your lips, before slipping my fingers into you and teasing you to orgasm with my tongue on your clit and my fingertips on your g-spot...

Al using sons eMac in his room - on the web - when I dropped son off at football training. After getting back I'm with my daughter reading, Al went upstairs, heard unplugging eMac from network back to XBox, light on router off while swapping.

Again, Al on eMac when I picked son up from training. Saw her run upstairs as I was reversing out of drive.

Al asks again whether I still love her? Is she my favourite girl?


Saturday 5 March
Installed KeyLogger on eMac. Kept busy tidying upstairs and washing car.

Al spends time browsing horoscope sites, checking up compatibility info on Gemini/Capricorns (PKs birth sign).

Al arranged to meet with girlfriend Sh while taking son to football match - definitely legit. Volley of texts in the evening back and forth, suspect Al is texting PK as well as Sh. 6-8 message received alerts went off on her phone. Checked later, only 3 texts sent to Sharon and 3 received. Other messages deleted... PK? Final message sent later, 11pm ish, I glanced at her texting she stopped, went upstairs to toilet taking her phone. Went to bed leaving her downstairs, nothing recorded on KeyLogger. Extra SMS deleted from her phone.


Sunday 6 March
Al will be looking forward to 'Al Time' tonight, when i go to see my friend G.
Back from G's. Nothing. Her Mom had called while I was out (1.5 hour conversation probably). Al just quickly scanned Facebook. No texts or calls shown on phone.


Monday 7 March
2 texts received in evening (8-9pm ish (7-8am ish Syd)), mentioned Sh had texted to say thanks for Sunday. Al went to bed early at 10pm to read, took phone with her.
When phone checked only 1 text from Sharon from 7 March, not 2.

Tuesday 8 March
Al took mobile phone upstairs from 6.40 - 7pm.
Al baths R (daughter), takes mobile phone.
Al takes a bath with mobile phone from 9 - 10pm ish.
Text from DL - pic of his cock, as below:

DL : Picture of his cock
AL: My god u delicious man i cld ride on that bad boy all night x : 11.30pm : 10.30am Syd
DL: :-) And I'd LOVE you to. : 11.42pm : 10.42am Syd


Wednesday 9 March
Took phone upstairs at 6.30pm.
No outgoing messages showing. 1 received message from DL: just a smiley : )
We made love - she seemed distant, not connecting. She used the phrase 'give me that bad boy'!


Thursday 9 March
Disk Doctor Recovery of her SIM card - messages shown from 2006, no later, or recent deleted SMS.
Received text at 2pm, said it was from her boss about tomorrow morning dental appointment, she commented, 'ahh, about time, i only texted her 2 hours ago!'. Surprised her boss texted her, didn't email or call.
2.30pm Al cleaning upstairs - took phone, on Facebook, looking at PK's photos.
6.30pm Al receives text : 5.30am Syd(?) PK?
Al takes phone from bag tidying upstairs, bathing R (daughter). Al went to bed early 10.30. I came up 11.15. She woke up, went downstairs (with phone?) at 1.15am (12.15pm Syd), came to bed 2.30am (1.30pm Syd). iMac not used. Turned on light 3.30am, reading.


Friday 10 March
No new messages. None from from Niki, smiley from DL deleted.
Taking T to football, picking up this evening.


As mentioned eralier, would you stay, try to help her, save the family, make her stop all this crap and possibly have it thrown in my face again? or go? regain my life (currently 40), find someone loving and caring whom I can trust and who appreciates what I have to give?

[smichelle]

get out of there now!!!! you shouldnt have to subject yourself or your children to this. get custody of the kids, your wife is out of control

[vashti]

Did you not get the answer you wanted from the other thread you posted about this?

[nemale71]

Hi, not really Vashti, the answered revolved around her drinking as opposed to her attitude towards our relationship so shortly after nearly breaking up and breaking the hearts of our kids. Not sure why I'm doing this to myself. When we were going to split the prospect of being my own person, throwing myself into work and new relationships seemed so appealing and staying with her did not but I stayed to try my best. Not getting me far is it?

[Kaius]

She's cheating on you, and doesn't love or respect you. She is an alcoholic. You don't really have a family because neither of you were ever committed enough to get married.
She is totally into the PK guy, who is giving her amazing sex. This PK is a douche bag because he is doing all this, while married.
There is nothing you can do. Since no marriage, there is no divorce (lucky you). Figure out who takes the kids and when, and move yourself out of there.

[vashti]

Please take the kids with you.

[ASMD]

Please take the kids with you.

I agree, you need to leave and take the kids, her drinking and cheating is not only bad for you butr the kids as well

[HeartIsAching]

What the hell? Why are you even asking a question this stupid? Get your kid and leave.

[hotspurfan]

Hire a private investigator. it's the only way you can get proof that will hold up in court. this will help you get custody of the kids without a lot of hassle. play it cool, and stop going threw heer stuf. you got the proof and answers you need now let the professionals handle it. you cant let her know that you know or she'll start cleaning up her act and set up a defense. she's a serial cheater and will never stop.

[nemale71]

Thanks Hotspurfan. Probably good advice but I can't afford it and I'm doing ok so far. Photographed the text messages and have KeyLogger recording keys and screengrabs. In fact she is sounding like the predator from her last round on Facebook tonight. I'm hoping to catch them arranging to meet. Or arranging to come here while I'm out. I'll get pictures... then thats the end, even though it is already. I need her to hang herself.

The latest diary update from Friday to Sunday:

Friday 11 March

1.53pm : Facebook : Al to DL (from work) : Hey baby, got your text hope you enjoyed yourself, you wanna be careful not to rub that off...xxxxxxxxxxx
No new messages. None from from boss, smiley from DL deleted.
Al received SMS from Sh at 6.48 and replied.

22:18 : Facebook : DL to Al : It was lovely. you've been driving me wild the last couple of weeks. I SO wish i could down on you...


Saturday 12 March
No SMS or Facebook activity. Lovely family day.


Sunday 13 March
Phone counter readings taken 10am.
Total Calls: 4h 09m 46s
Outgoing: 2h 43m 41s
Sent SMS: 374
Sent MMS: 16
Al goes to tidy upstairs, on T's computer, on Facebook, transcript:

to be inserted. basically arranging with PK to chat tonight.

I go to G's at 7.30pm.
Facebook activity:

20:02 Al to PK : Facebook : Al: Hey you...

Arranging to meet with old friend, female, JA - legit. For coffee on Friday.

20:05 : Facebook : Reply to DL (11/03/11) : Me too, having such a busy time you are really releasing some tension in me in all my favourite ways. xxx

20:08 Al to PK : Facebook : Al: Went through some old diaries (yep how sad was I as a child) and found one entry from July 20th 1986! Saying I had stayed the night at Sh's and that her cousin PK had seen me in my pyjama's and I take it from my embarrassment that I thought you were cute. I knew I had something on you.

20:11 Looks at pics of PK with his sons

20:19 : Facebook : Pk to Al: Wish I had ur fab body on me rite now angel. I want u. X
Al to PK: Well I am just waiting for you to - changed to: Well its here waiting..
PK to Al: We need sum planning cos so horny 4 u. Want 2 fulfill ur dirtiest desires. X
Al to PK: On the same page then..just waiting for an opportunity. You know when I'm free babe
Al to PK: come on and play with me - changed to: come on FB and play with me.
PK to Al: Im in bath angel. X
Al to PK: Poor excuse however as your naked might forgive you.
Sooo what n - changed to: Bath eh and here I am offering you a lick wash.
PK to Al: Love 2 bend u ova in shower and slide my 9 hard inches in2 u, soap each other and fck like rabbits. X
Al to PK: Hello there. See your back. I can do some amazing things with soap. haha - changed to:
Hello there. Pleased your back. I can do some amazing things with soap. haha - changed to:
Hello there. So happy your back. I can do some amazing things with soap. - changed to:
Hello there. Happy your back. Would love to slide my slippery body all over yours and soap your gorgeous hard cock - changed to:
Hello there. Happy your back. Would love to slide my slippery body all over yours and run my soapy hands all over your gorgeous hard cock.

Typed but not sent... I get quite a bit of male attention but I have a massive crush on you.. I honestly want to have you and I WILL have you. I am not going to cause you any problems - changed to:
I get quite a bit of male attention but I am so hot I'm on fire on you.. I honestly want to have you and I WILL have you. I am not going to cause you any problems

20:46 : Facebook : Al to RF (family member)

20:47 : Facebook : PK to Al : Angel wud be amazing mind get u soaped and ur ass wud b gettin sum action. X
Al to PK : Goodness most of the water in that shower would be coming from my eyes. Its a beast P. Hmmm. Haha. For you though possibly
PK to Al : Id let u fck my ass and anything else u horny girl, im playing on bed with my big cock. X
Al to PK : I'll come equipped then Wish I could see you on that bed babe. Wish I could see you.
PK to Al : Me 2 angel. This wank defo over u. Id let u b so dirty with me. X
Al to PK : If you naked doesn't inspire me to be filthy with you. Be assured I intend to give you it all. I fancy the arse of you. Get alot of male attention babe but its you I want.
PK to Al : U wud cos ur stunning. My cock so hard n fat 4 u. X
Al to PK : I want it sooo badly, haven't felt this much desire for a while. You better start to think how your going to make my fantasies come true.
PK to Al :

21:08 (8:08 Syd) : Facebook DL to Al : So you like my naughty messages?
Al to DL : I always like your messages. You filthy gorgeous man

Al to PK : Typed but not sent... Hope I dont come on to intense sometimes but you dont know. changed to: Feel all vulnerable now.
(20 mins since last message to PK)

21:24 (8:24 Syd) : Facebook DL to Al : I'm about to come*right now*, daydreaming of coming in your mouth
Al to DL : I'd swallow you all babe

21:27 : Facebook Al to PK : Typed, not sent : Gone and I said too much as usual. Gone? I know mysteris
PK to Al : Pop-up chat window : im gonna do everything i can babe. x
Al to PK : I know i m counting on. Mysteries of universe on so be flatterd
PK to Al : ive got to go angel. xxx
Al to PK : please dont
PK to Al : may wait for responses mind. x
Al to PK : Ahhh not the same. play with me babe

P is offline.

Al to PK : Typed but not sent: I hate being like this ...
Al to PK : Typed but not sent (in main conversation window): Grrrrrr! Getting, changed to: Grrrrrr! You man or mouse? changed to: Grrrrr! Like I said plenty of male attention. I know its awkward but not impressed

Al to MW(?) : Pop-up chat window : Hiya M how was <place> how are you?
MW to Al : hello Al, we had a good couple of days apart from play crap golf.
Al to MW : Haha. I remember you going into army? remember you were always asking me out when we were 14

Al to PK : Typed but not sent: Grrrrrr! Talking to someone else now. changed to and sent: Grrrrrrr!

MW to Al : you've got a good memory. well i'm still in i've got two years to push and thats me done. how's tricks with you?
Al to MW : Well you know family work all that jazz. Have you done your tours then?
MW to Al : Yes had a great time, blah, blah.....
Al to MW : All sounds fabulous. You were such a lovely lad when we were at school I am pleased you have has such a rich life so far..You seem like a family man now too. You have a lovely wife, I am chuffed for you
MW to Al : Cheers Ali, family is great, got a great wife and two fantastic kids. defo a family man now. are you all settled down?
Al to MW : yep 2 kids and a fab man. We work v hard for it all but worth it. So were for M next?

21:51 : Pop-up chat window : PK to Al : i want to play babe. x
Al to PK : hello hello
PK to Al : had 2 sort W (his son) out 4 bed
Al to PK : Alright. P stay..
PK to Al : i will angel. xx
Al to PK : So much to say ****ing messanger
PK to Al : im staying so say what u want hun
Al to PK : Sorry too much to drink propb. Yeah there I cant even spell. Sorry probs scaring you now
PK to Al: no way
Al to PK : I just want you to know that I dont want to cause any trouble, changed to: I just want you to know that you can trust me thats easy said i know but i mean it i have as much to lose
PK to Al : yeah and i respect that babe. xxxx
Al to PK : I guess i am frustrated babe cos I want to have you and I cant
PK to Al : i want u as much believe mw. x
Al to PK : Thats possibly why still here dont to the easy way.. Dont go
PK to Al : i wont
Al to PK : I have talked myself out of this several times. I could have extra marital sex if i want it
PK to Al : so why come back angel? i want u 2 with me
Al to PK : I dont know, i'm thnking
PK to Al : babe may b back but have to go sorry. xxx want to b one who fcks u. xxxx

P is offline.

Al to PK : Typed, not sent : I dont know what it is you have to offer your such a filthy mouthed git. come back

Al to PK (main message window) : Typed, not sent : I wish you would stop ignoring me. Gotta call it a night. What you frightened of? This is what you came for. changed to:
Gotta call it a night. What you frightened of? This is what you came for. Still waiting for you. changed to:
Gotta call it a night. What you frightened of? This is what you came here for. I'll wait. Your girl A xx, changed to:
Gotta call it a night. What you frightened of? This is what you came here for. I'll wait a while. A xx, changed to:
Gotta call it a night. What you frightened of? This is what you came here for yes? I will hang on but | not me P. I'll wait a while. A xx, changed to:
Gotta call it a night. What you frightened of? This is what you came here for yes? You caught a good one and I'll wait a while. A xx, changed to, and sent:

Gotta call it a night. What you frightened of? This is what you came here for yes? You caught a good one. Come over soon.Xx

22:28 : Al looks at pics of P on his wife's Facebook page


Al pretty drunk, she bought a bottle on wine earlier, finished. 3 cans of lager left, she has a wine glass from each. I drink the rest. Looks very guilt when I come home, kind of "What?", "What?" situation. She's a million miles away.