consindering contact

[seganomics]

Long story short dated a guy for a year and a half and we broke up about four months ago.
We have not spoken to each other since December. I don’t follow him on any social media sites. We have two mutual friends but I try not to inquire about him.

Anyway…I’m kind of missing him. I’m not ready to be friends but a civil conversation over coffee doesn’t seem too painful to me.

When do I know if it’s time to try to reach out?

[butterfly81]

I understand I'm in the same boat I really miss him but I understand that seeing him would not help at all and only put me back further but do it if you think your strong enough and want closure remember in order to cross the ocean you must lose sight of the shore

[smackie9]

You just need more time to forget about him.

[Yet another guy]

Why are you considering contact? Do you want to get back together? If not, contacting him is a bad idea.

[seganomics]

I guess I don't know how I feel about getting back together. He intiated the break up so it really wouldn't matter what I thought. I guess I know for sure I'm not ready to just pretend like everything is cool and we're better people for it. But at the same time I wonder if that closure would ever come because we don't speak to each other.

It's more like... hmmm... haven't talked to him in awhile... do I reach out?

[DarkHelmet82]

I guess I don't know how I feel about getting back together. He intiated the break up so it really wouldn't matter what I thought. I guess I know for sure I'm not ready to just pretend like everything is cool and we're better people for it. But at the same time I wonder if that closure would ever come because we don't speak to each other.

It's more like... hmmm... haven't talked to him in awhile... do I reach out?

i wouldnt.. EVERY time ive contacted my ex ive regretted the decision... this last time I told her about my heart attack I didnt even hear back from her..... trust me its a bad idea...

[DarkHelmet82]

most of the time it makes things worse... just the way things are

[seganomics]

I did write him a short email a month ago when I broke my leg but recieved nothing back. I guess that's my answer right?

[fivefootfour]

You've basically described my situation. Your not my ex girlfriend are you? Lol. No wrong country! Anyway it was my ex girlfriend who broke up with me after a year and a half and we hadn't spoke for 3 months until 3 weeks ago where I heard her gran had died. I text her offering my condolences and she also text me on my birthday but haven't heard anything else in 3 weeks. I feel like I need to contact her again but keep stopping myself as I'm not sure if it's for the best. I really miss my ex and I think I want her back but I don't know if she's bothered about me. I think she would be friendly with me but I want her back not be her friend. I don't think I've helped you but I'm going through the same!

[seganomics]

almost the same fivefootfour. i thought the same reading a couple of your posts lol. Only i didn't contact him on his birthday.

I think you can contact him once you are ready, but looked like it's not you who decide to return with each other but him :-). Good luck.

You're right Cinnabella. If he hasn't changed his opinions on anything then contact is pointless. I still feel like I did when we first broke up. That it was an over reaction and a damn shame. Somedays it feels like the right thing but those are days where my life would be no less fufilling if I never heard from him again. But then there are days that I can't believe a year and a half relationship ended just like that.

So I should probably just wait until he contacts me. Just sucks because I do miss him sometimes, but I know in my heart these are things I should not compromise on. If he still sees me as a mainpulative and insecure person than he's not someone I should have in my life.

I'm just ready for the 'moved on' part ha ha ha. I know it's coming and this wasn't a 'once in a lifetime' relationship but still sucks.