Spending the night with another girl while in a relationship?

[kjames05]

I went out last night with my roommate and we met a couple girls at the bar. Drinks ensued and I was the wingman. When we got back to my place he went straight into his room with girl #1 leaving me with girl #2. Seeing as I wasn't about to call a cab for girl #2 and leave her friend (girl #1) at my place with my roommate, I decided to let girl #2 stay over... in my bed.

I've been in a serious relationship with another girl (who is currently doing a four month internship in another city) for over two years now, and I just might marry her down the road. She is not girl #1 nor girl #2. Is it really bad to spend the night with another girl even though I didn't touch her or make any sexual advances towards her? And how should I approach telling my girlfriend about it? I do want to be honest.

[Mongoose]

I've actually pictured this situation happening to me. Since you didn't actually do anything, I don't think there's a problem really - you were just being kind and considerate (and a good wingman!). If you want to tell your gf, just tell her like you've told us. It seems straightforward and honest. The only thing she might have a problem with is the girl sleeping in your bed. Were you in it at the time?

[kjames05]

yes i slept in the bed as well. there was no cuddling or touching of any manner. it was completely just for rest.

[vertical_sky]

Um... why did you guys sleep in the same bed? Why didn't she/you sleep on the couch or floor? Unless you've got a queen size or bigger, or both of you are pretty petite, it means there probably was some touching... This just seems highly suspicious.

[kjames05]

queen size bed, and we are both small. there was no touching

[Mongoose]

It probably would have been better if you'd slept on the floor, but we don't always think about these things when drunk. Your gf might not be too keen on the idea of you in the same bed as another girl, but, since you didn't do anything and had good intentions, you should be ok.

[Spring Haze]

Seeing as I wasn't about to call a cab for girl #2 and leave her friend (girl #1) at my place with my roommate

Why, what's wrong with calling a cab? Certainly a conversation had to take place about the sleeping arrangements and that nothing sexual would occur unless you/she were passed out drunk.

[smackie9]

OH no you don't! This is best left alone. You were a gentleman and didn't do anything so your GF need not to know about this,

[JadenMia]

Hmm, i dont think i would tell your girlfriend to be honest..
If it was my boyfriend i dont think i would be cool with it at all.. The fact you didnt do anything with her, wont really make a difference to your girlfriend. She will be pissed.

Why couldnt you just call a cab? Or let her sleep somewhere else.. Bottom line is you slept in the same bed with not a friend.. But a complete stranger.
Better keep this one to yourself im thinking..

[blinki]

did you want something to happen???? if you didn't, i don't see any reason AT ALL why you or her didn't sleep on the floor or the couch!!!

either something did happen, or you wanted something to happen. i really don't see the problem with sleeping on the floor or calling a taxi.

[hello1]

Do not tell your girlfriend as either two things will happen

A. She will not believe you and think you did have sex with her
B. She will dump you for sleeping with another woman and now showing her respect by sleeping on the floor etc

[IncognitoSir]

why would you sleep in the same bed???? Your girl WILL dump you if you tell her. There is no need for you to be sharing beds with any chick other than your gf. How would you feel if you knew a drunk guy spent the night in your gf's bed? It looks bad either way you slice it man.

[reeba]

You don't have a sleep over with a drunk girl you just met at the bar, while your roommate is scoring with her friend in the room next door. And that girl knew her friend was planning to do to your roommate, there is no way she followed innocently.

Either you or her was expecting sex when you had that supposedly 'no touching' sleep over.

What if your roommate continues hooking up with the friend? What if your roommate gets mad at you at some point and tells the true story? What if your gf runs across these girls? If she hears this from another source your relationship is over.

Also your gf isn't stupid. She sees it just like I see it. Even if no sex happenned, someone was expecting sex during this sleep over. She will be pissed if she hears this story.

My suggestion is to first tell your gf that you are thinking about breaking up with your roommate because of the awkward situations he is putting you in. Tell her the truthfull story (goodluck on that one). Then let her decide if you should breakup with your roommate. And hopefully her decision won't be to breakup with you.

Let this be a lesson to you. Your roommate is not your best pal. His antics will lead to trouble if you are trying to be in a relationship. Who you hang out with/roommate with is a direct reflection of you. If your friends are manwhores, chances are so are you, or you are living vicariously through them. I once dumped a guy who wanted to room with his best friend (the friend partied all the time and at the time was having an 'open' relationship with a stripper). I didnt' mind the friendship (the friend was very funny and charming) and my bf wasn't a drinker so he never partied with him. So my breakup might sound a little harsh. But I was right. That squeaky clean guy who rarely had more than one beer a night, soon was immulating his friend.

[Ric]

It's better not to tell your girlfriend. And if she finds out and asks why you didn't tell you can say you figured it wasn't of any importance. Considering you did nothing, it's fair reasoning.