Clueless or unwilling?

[lovinggrace]

ok so ive been dating this guy for 2 years. in the beginning we were texting 24-7, then it was slightly less than this. Due to our own obligations we were only able to see eachother around once or twice a week and we were both ok with this. However recently he got a new job and its all he seems interested in. I would see him now about once a month if even and id be lucky to hear from him once a month. I always assumed this was because he was busy with work and college and all that but i later find he has time to be out with his new work friends who he seems obsessed with. Whenever i bring up the lack of contact between us he assures me that everything is fine and that he loves me and i generally believe that. All i want him to do is put a little more effort into caring about us.Were heading off to florida for a holiday next month for a fortnight and i fear it may end badly if i cannot resolve this beforehand.
Is he just clueless about what i want from our relationship or is he just unwilling to change?

[Bonfire]

You only hear from him once a month? That's not normal. Even if someone tells me they love me but their actions tells me otherwise, i would believe the actions and not the words. You have to confront this with real urgency. Allowing him to continue in this manner would make things worse for you. This is just not acceptable behavior in a relationship. Not to scare you but he might be seeing someone and he's just keeping you on the side just in case things don't work out with the new girl. Of course this is just a guess and might not be true. But one thing for certain, I don't believe he loves you all that much if he makes no effort to contact you except once a month if at all. People in love always want to see or hear from the other person almost daily. And he is definitely not acting like a person who is supposedly in love with you.

[steviej]

Bonfire hit the nail on the head really, not much more to add. After two years he's got comfortable and lazy, he makes no effort and just likes having a part time squeeze.
You need to sort this.

[smackie9]

Give the guy a break...he has a very busy life and starting a new job can be very hectic because he has many obligations to fulfill. Use this trip to resolve any issues you both may have. Both of you will just have to make some kind of compermise to make this work. You may have your perspective on this, but you must see it from his too. When it comes to the long haul in a relationship, sometimes you have to make sacrifics in order to stay together, so you may not get what you want completely. It might come down to how important it is to you to have your expectation of attention to be fulfilled. If he can't possibly do it then you have a decision to make now don't you.

[vertical_sky]

I say bring this up on the trip. I'm all for giving a guy his space (learned my lesson that trying to chase after a guy only makes him feel you are needy and will drive him further away) but a MONTH without contact is ridiculous! A few days, totally understandable. A week.... eh, not fantastic, but if he apologies and makes a renewed effort, all forgiven. But a MONTH? No, no, no. Bad form Peter.