Is her head working or not?

[phil1wright]

Ok im posting here cause im hoping that a female may have more insight into what my ex's head is doing than i do.
Not to mention the better perspective
Il try to keep it brief

Almost dating 13 months, had one rough patch over the summer, she left me, but asked me to take her back not long after.
- In that time we argued and stuff quite abit
Broke up again due to her thinking shed be happier with a guy she knew from an apprenticeship course, he used her and left her within a week, and i stood in to be therefor her
We were getting close again, but she was now on antidepressants (prescribed) and at times sleeping aides (over the counter).
We were virtually a couple in an open relationship, but she always avoided sorting stuff out into anything official, even officially being in an open relationship.
In this time she also got the attention of a "creeper" from work, all over her, in appropriate and bothering, she liked the text messages and attention, but whenever she spent time with him shed turn to me to save her from it.
This weekend gone she went for a night out, but ended up just with a house party including him, i was meant to be taking her home from the night out
She got drunk and started calling me, bugging me for smokes and stuff, and then, knowing it would bother me, said shed be sleeping at his, it did bother me, and she got mad at me for being in a bad mood about it. and then she started to threaten to not pay me back any of the money she still owed me from helping her out with some troubles. I warned her if she kept going like that id have to have words with her parents about the money and stuff, she kept going, so i did.
It wasnt a trivial amount of money
Her mother was very understanding, and assured me wed sort out the money, and her phone contract that was opened in my name
In the mean time i should cut her off, and leave her to miss me. She being both the girl i love and my best friend of the past year, this was hard, and when she started to post on facebook about getting a new phone i gave in and got in touch to find out what she was doing about the contract, we argued, just like the last 2 times wed split up, her saying she didnt want to tlk to me again, me not backing down and not giving in to her avoidance tactics. In the end i let her go, but not b4 agreeing to continue this later.

She says we cant even try to be friends after i "went behind her back to her mother" and she lost all respect for me. But i did warn her, and i didnt do it out of spite, at first i had considered saying about her excessive smoking and things, but in the end, it wasnt relevant, so i didnt tell her mother, i onlt told her what mattered. But she cant see that

Basically, all she does suggests she wants to be with me? Spending alot of time together, always calling me, before work, after work, before shed go to sleep.
Wanting to spend time with me even at my house, kissing me, sometimes initiated by me, other by her, but always shed kiss back and not stop.
And she even said she loved me too the weekend before it all fell apart
When her guard is down

But when her guard is up, the stuff she says contradicts the stuff she does, saying she doesnt want to be with me or work stuff out or even be friends
She says we dont do friends, it doesnt work. and thats true
But for the reason we seem to be drawn to each other. Were great as a couple, and if were not a couple, we always end up back as one, even if not officialy. But if we actuall try to NOT be a couple, we fall out.
Its been the same 3 times now, which makes me ask the question, if we werent in a position of a relationship, how have we had a breaking up fight?

[sweetkissesforu]

Sounds like you and her need to grow up and learn about relationships

[gigigi4]

this sounds like a really volatile relationship to me, kind of codependent, like you can't live with each other and can't live without each other. i've known ppl in relationships like this and from what i've observed it never gets better, just escalates more and more. i honestly would advise you to spend some time apart, reflect about yourself, what you want out of a relationship, how you have contributed to the drama you've experienced w/ her, and how to deal w/ conflicts in a less combative way in your future relationships.