How to revive someones sex drive...

[xareon]

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 5 months now and I remember near the beginning when she would get really horny and take charge, she would push me onto my back and get on top and rub her self all over my body. Lately, she has become a lot more passive in the bedroom. She still says she's getting really horny, but she doesn't act on it as much as she used to.

I'm a Leo so I'm naturally very passionate in the bedroom, its my nature to LOVE to please. I'll go down my girl every night we are together because I love the feel of her squirming with pleasure. So you might say I sorta take charge in the bedroom a little bit, but I really loved it when she would match my passion and take charge sometimes too.

I have thought of several reasons for this decline in sexual drive but ultimately it is a mystery to me. Its possable that I take charge more than I should in the bedroom, or maybe since school started she has been more stressed out and as a result its been draining her sex drive, or maybe the upsets we've had not related to sex have changed things during sex too.

I have two questions really... One thing she used to do is go down on me a little bit, not go all the way but she would suck on me for a little bit, and I found it... flattering because I knew she was willing to return the favor, but that hasn't happened for a long time. Recently I asked her if she wanted to 69 and she just kinda blew it off. So how do I get her to be more willing to give as well as receive... and how do I get her to be more open sexually with me?

Here are my ideas so far: Stop going down on her so often and tease her a lot more during foreplay. Be straight forward with her and tell her that I really liked it when she used to take charge a little more. Buy a book on sex and make a point of reading it together.

Any advice would be appreciated...

Thx,
Tennyson

[Clifton]

stop going down on her at all: shes losing respect for you, or has already lost it, because of it. she feels she doesnt hafto do anything because you get her off, regardless, your ****ed. dump her and find a new girl.

[misombra]

maybe she's just gotten confortable with you.

i think you should just tell her. we women don't really like the manipulative, passive-agressive behavior.

if she's not pleasing you then you need to speak up.

[Clifton]

yeah, shes right.

[kanzaki]

well taking charge is rather hard for a girl

it took me more than enough strengh both mentally and physically to get me ready into action

[val]

girls are sensitive to hygiene, would maybe this be problem?

[alb04]

All of your ideas were good....except to stop going down on her completely...don't do that! The book thing is great, as for talking to her about being more giving I would suggest telling her how much you love it when she does it and how good she is at it....us ladies love to hear that we're good at something lol. As for getting her to be more open, just talk about it in a normal setting-is the bedroom the only place it ever gets brought up? If so you might wanna change that.

[GrkScorp]

i think you should just tell her. we women don't really like the manipulative, passive-agressive behavior.

yeah.. that's because women don't like competition..

anyway.. all jokes aside.. communicate.. been together for 5 months, and you've had sex.. GREAT.. I know what you're worried about.. "it's only been 5 months, I don't really know if I should bring this up with her right now, it's kind of weird, maybe I should wait.. blah blah.."

before we explore the possible reasons, just remember this.. you're going to have to sit her down, and talk about it.. no beating around the bush, but without accusing her either..

so.. possible reasons for what seems like a decline in her sexual desire for you?

1. You've established a ritual. Really? when? well, the moment you started taking over the role of initiating sex all the time.. at first sexually, things were unknown and mysterious between the two of you.. but by now, she pretty much knows how to get you to initiate sex, or just simply waits for you to initiate sex.. because it's easier to wait than to do it yourself.. so she's gotten comfortable with being lazy and waiting for you to initiate sex all the time..

2. You haven't yet realized that LEOs aren't the best sign in the Zodiac when it comes to sex.. that's SCORPIO's department. What do I mean? maybe you FEEL or THINK that you're blowing her mind away, but in reality, the pleasure you're giving her is average.. NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE A BAD LOVER! simply because there's weak communication between the two of you.. because she's not sexually open, she doesn't want to tell you what to do.. So, as a result.. everytime she thinks "sex".. she thinks about that "mildly enjoyable time, to which she might reach on ok-ish orgasm, or not reach one at all and perhaps have to fake it so you don't feel bad".. (btw; just feel the muscle contractions on the involuntary muscle groups; if they're not contracting, she's not really having an orgasm.. if you catch her doing this and confront her about it.. her typical excuse should be.. oh, well it feels like an orgasm, it still feels really good though.. don't buy it or settle for that.. you should'nt be happy with having your partner tell you "it still feels really good".. that's just her being polite.. instead you want the hear something like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH.. MMMMMMMMMM.. OOOOOHHHHH!! shivers all over the bed or wherever it is you do it.. she'll almost want to push you away because the pleasure is too much to handle.. THAT's the reaction you want.. you shouldn't have to have her TELL you how it felt..)

3. School/Work/Herself.. Now, school and work are easy to trace.. and yes, stress doesn't do wonders for your sex drive.. unless it's the stress you get from school.. man.. back in college I could repopulate all of South America if you left me with the Amazon tribe.. but.. the other thing could be her perception of herself.. maybe she feels her boobs are not big or nice enough, her butt is too big or not shaped well, or that she's too fat.. THAT WOULD KILL HER SEX DRIVE? yeah.. I know what you're thinking.. "wouldn't matter to me".. and that's because you're a guy.. but it matters a great deal to women.. if they don't feel comfortable with themselves.. if they don't feel attractive and sexy.. then it's a turn-off.. for THEM! it's almost like they're telling themselves "I can't have sex looking like this!".. crazy? let's just leave it at that.. lol

so.. solutions? well.. yeah.. there's the same solution to all of them.. lucky for you.. : ) what is it? TALK TO HER ABOUT IT!

blah blah.. I want to talk about something.. blah blah blah.. (lead into conversation about your sex life).. blah blah..

"I was thinking, how great it must feel to feel wanted all the time, to know that I want you, and that I always initiate sex between us.. I mean, does it feel good knowing that? (her: yeah..).. well, have you ever bothered to ask yourself how "I" feel? Because ok, I don't mind initiating sex all the time, or wanting to have sex with you, because I do.. but.. it just feels like i'm initiating sex ALL the time, like i'm the only one who wants it.. and it just feels like "i'm" the only one in the mood for sex.. like you don't even want me.. (it helps if you add this bit of magic: "I think that's very selfish of you").."

blah blah..

"I mean, is there something you want me to do that i'm not doing? I don't know what you're shy about, we're having sex, what are you afraid or shy about? saying the words penis/vagina? we're not in the 4th grade.. Vagina Vagina Vagina.. Penis Penis Penis.. say it.. go ahead.. say it.. (wait for her to say them.. it really helps.. it breaks down boundry/conservative prick issues).. Do you feel like there's something you want me to do, during or before sex, or just in general, that i'm not doing? please, tell me.. I want to know.. i'm telling you I want to know, and I want to do it, but I just want us to be able to tell eachother.. so please.. tell me.. what am I not doing enough of? (enough of: important little add on.. women are polite.. HUGE boundry issues.. so she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and all that crap.. so instead she'll deny or beat around the bush until you quit having sex alltogether.. by adding this, you're giving her the option to imply that nothing is wrong with you, but it would help if you would do something you're already doing.. a little bit more often)"

blah blah blah.. time for the grande' finale'

"I don't know how you feel about sex, or what you think sex means to you.. but I want to let you know what it means to me.. I'm a guy, so pink "I love you" cards, roses, walks in the park, remembering what I said, and all that stuff, means almost nothing to me as a guy.. not that it's meaningless.. but I don't feel that that's a way to show the love you feel for the other person the way you feel those things are.. And let's face it, girls are just better at expressing emotions.. that's not exactly what nature made guys to do.. but that doesn't mean that I don't love you.. I do love you.. I love you to death.. and the way I feel I best express that is through sex.. that's what sex is for me.. expressing exactly that.. making you happy, showing you how much I love you.. doing everything I can to have you feel great.. But everytime you don't bother to show that same interest, or desire, or even initiate sex once in a while.. I feel like you don't love me, or you don't show me that love.. I mean, guys and girls work differently.. I get that.. but I'm affectionate with you, romantic, I remember all the little things, etc.. So I do my best to make you feel loved in a way YOU want to feel loved.. all i'm asking is that you realize that it's not about the SEX.. it's not about the physical act.. it's about what sex means to me.."

blah blah blah.. (it's a pretty heavy-duty conversation.. I like to end off serious conversations with a joke.. an appropriate joke during this occasion would be something like).. "i'm really glad we talked about this; even though I was sort of hoping for a (so, do you wanna have sex?).. lol.. smile and laugh.. make her know it was a joke.." but it's important you make the joke.. because you're also implanting the idea in her mind.. to start initiating sex more often..

so; all of this put together in conversation should solve the problem.. again.. be relaxed.. open.. not DON'T ATTACK her! it's a constructive conversation.. I know you're frustrated sexually.. but you want her conservative-girly-self to open up those gates and take off that armor to hear what you have to say.. or else, she'll simply be on the defensive and it'll be a waste of your time and effort.. so be tactful about your delivery of the speech..

[vashti]

She isn't reaching orgasm.

[DoesntMatter]

I'm a Leo so I'm naturally very passionate in the bedroom,

Lol is that a joke?

[misombra]

yeah.. that's because women don't like competition..

you're joking, right?

[Junket]

What the fúck?

Why did this cunt revive this thread?

[vashti]

What the fúck?

Why did this cunt revive this thread?

Damn, Frasbee.. you are a mod. Maybe you can ask loveadmin to make the old thread "read only".

[Mish]

Any advice would be appreciated...

Thx,
Tennyson

Advertise the fact that you have started drinking pineapple/banana/mango juice (And start drinking it often). Girls do the going down routine more often after that for some reason

[GrkScorp]

Advertise the fact that you have started drinking pineapple/banana/mango juice (And start drinking it often). Girls do the going down routine more often after that for some reason

haha.. (not being patronizing)..

yeah.. I don't know.. it's almost like they all go to the same website or magazine and it feeds them this story of it tasting better, sweeter, fruity-er when a guy drinks those juices and stays away from "red meat, eggs, and fats"..

honestly.. it doesn't really matter.. mostly because sperm only cums in one flavor..

but yes.. i've seen this in action.. and if you have to get her curious to go down there.. sure.. that's a nice short-term solution to the problem.. but it won't be long until she realizes that:

1. hey, it doesn't really taste like that..
2. hey, I really grew tired of that taste anyway..

the taste; or the way it looks, or feels, or the crazy light-shows that are going on down there should not be her motivation for going down on you..