Maybe I should breakup...

[okapa]

Hi guys.

Yeah, I know this isn't really something that I should let others decide but still I'd hear your opinions for fear of doing something terribly wrong.

I'm a freshman at a very good university in my country and since I've joined my life has changed quite a bit. When I was in high school, I used to be a popular kid, I even led the students union and organised a few parties. Nevertheless, I got really bored of being a social person so I stopped that and during this year I haven't been too friendly to a lot of people so I tend to stick to my friends only, mostly. I don't mind this at all, I actually don't feel like getting to know that many people at the moment.

I've kept my high school girlfriend (we've been going out for three years) and we've been strong, we had some issues to start with but we're fine and we don't fight a lot. But now I have started to resent having a girlfriend: I don't really like to talk to her anymore (we usually talk about half an hour each day but I really never feel like doing it), I rarely look forward to having sex with her (not that it's bad, I just don't feel like it), we rarely go out (although I admit it's fun sometimes, if I'm feeling like it).

I have started to doubt whether I like her or not. The only thing I enjoy about being together with her is the friend component, having someone there when I need to talk about some serious stuff (mind you, I'm always there for her to). I really trust her with everything and I do care a lot for her.

Maybe I'm just a bit depressed with college difficulty, I haven't really been looking forward to anything as of late, except for being with friends and hanging out.

I could talk to friends about this but guys don't always have good advice on on lovey dovey stuff.

If I were to break up it would make her very sad and I don't really want that either...


Well thanks for hearing me out, I feel better just to have wrote this.

[bubabalo]

Hello okapa,

How long have you been feeling this way about your girlfriend?
Are you interested in someone else? Do you envy your single friends or you think maybe if you are not with her you might find someone more interesting?
Have you talked about all of this to you girlfriend? Maybe it would be a good idea to be honest with her and tell what's going on.
You can also instead break up with her ask her for some time a part for you to figure things out.

[okapa]

About a couple months maybe, been getting worse.
No, I'm not interested in anyone else, actually I really don't want to have any girlfriend for a while.
I kinda envy them for having more free time, not for being single.
I could maybe find someone more interesting but I need to develop myself a bit first, I'm kinda good looking but I'm not emotionally ready to have someone else right now..

If I could just press a button to be single, without hurting her at all I would... I could probably forget her quickly, although I'd still prize the time I was with her, there have been good moments and I don't resent being with her at all...
Yeah, maybe I should...

Thanks for the input.

[bubabalo]

I think I'm going through a situation very similar to yours but in my case I'm the other side, I'm the girlfriend.

We were in a relationship for 6 months and he broke up with me 5 weeks ago claiming something similiar to what you are saying.
Two months before he ended the relationship he was acting very different with me. Sometimes he was cold, rude, impatient and he was avoiding intimacy also like you said. Before that I think he was happy and very much in love with me, or maybe I'm too naive.

He told me that the reason he wanted to break up is because doesn't want to be in a relationship right now and he wasn't enjoying the relationship anymore and he was seeing the relationship as a task ant that he was going to start to resent me. He said before that he have been feeling depressed and unhappy but it is in spite of me. He also said I was his best friend, he loved me and cared very much aboutme, he still want me being part of his life, he isn't looking for anybody else and he wants to be friends.

Sometimes I believe in the things he said sometimes I don't. It's hard to say if he is telling the truth.

I am very, very hurt with the break up. I was so desperated that I accepted his friendship after the break up. He was inviting me to do things together and texting me everyday but that was hurting me even more so I asked him to not contact me anymore because I need some time to forget him. He said he understand that and he understand even if I never want to be friends anymore.

I'm still very heart broken but slowly I'm doing better. I am moving on thank God and now I am the one resenting him and to be honest I don't think I won't ever be able to be friends with him.

[Love&Life]

If you don't go for her all the way, break up. Be real to her. Don't stay bf/gf because you like to have her as your friend in case you need one. This is using her, is not so nice.

I noticed when men are afraid, depressed, insecure, they also lose interest in their gf. It happened to me (as a gf) My ex had no job, no home, no plans, he was unhappy and lost interest in life and the world. And then he lost also interest in me, in sex etc... I wonder if he is back on track, if he...well...I shouldn't be thinking this.

There is no nice way to break up, but being honest.