how to turn a hookup into dating?

[cheeky&sexy]

So i know its not an ideal situation, but sometimes u dont really like someone or want to continue seeing them/start dating, til u have hooked up. Going into it i just saw it as casual fun n just an intense physical attraction.. but after it happened i can not get him off my mind. The sex was extremely good and the overall experience was way too intimate for a casual situation (hours of simply just talk or making out, in addition to sleeping over) and now i really like him. Yeah, im the type of person that falls fast and hard lol kind of pathetic but when i know, i just know. But ive barely heard from him since and it was 5 days ago. He invited me to his birthday party n texted me once. So i know its common for girls to get attached to a guy after sex, but i just wish i had some idea as to what is going on inside his mind without asking him n pushing him away. Is it normal for guys to distance themselves after something really intense and intimate, particularly with someone they dont know very well, n then to come back after getting sufficient amount of space? He just seems to be playing it cool and a bit hard to get.. yet still showing interest at the same time.. n i feel like he is doing it on purpose, i just wish i knew what the reason was. I have a few ideas both good n bad, but id rather get some male opinions. He got out of a long term relationship fairly recently too n even though we havent talked about it i get the sense he isnt looking for anything more than casual, if that even. I get that it was just a hookup, but from a guys perspective, what can i do to get him to keep seeing me and hopefully start dating eventually?

[Anturo]

What can you do? Be available for hook ups

Sounds like thats all he wants and you were more than willing to give.

Relationship? Maybe, maybe not up to him. But if he just got out of a relationship he is probably only looking for what you gave him.

If you continue to give it up, he will more than likely continue to come around.

[cheeky&sexy]

yeah i agree with everything u said. I guess im just looking for some magic answer about what i can do to get him to feel the same way about me, but i guess i know all i can really do is just wait and see what happens. I did initiate it though, but yeah obviously he was down with it n at the time it probably was all what he was looking for, like i was, but hopefully now he is having the same thoughts i am. But i dont think guys minds work like ours.. and i think part of the reason i cant get him off my mind is cos he hasnt actually said like 'we should do it again', which is driving me crazy cos ive never had a guy play kinda hard to get afterwards like this. I guess inviting me to his birthday is a hint he wants to maybe.

[AirbenderAang]

You really want to turn this hookup into dating... Well, you need to ensure that you guys make the transition to dating and don't stay in the hook-up stage. He may start you guys moving towards this on his own. If he does not, then you need to force the issue. Say something like, "I'm not saying we need to rush and get extra serious, but I still want more than just a hook up relationship." This means you would have to be willing to risk the hook up relationship.

He is pretty obviously not thinking the same thoughts as you. If he was thinking the same thoughts as you, you guys would have surely had at least a text conversation. At most he likes you and thinks you are cool. At worst, he enjoyed having sex with you and just wants to do it again. It is his birthday right? I bet he wants some birthday sex, (honestly, who doesnt?) The question is, is it in your best interest to give him some birthday sex? Maybe, maybe not. Depends on conditions on the ground.

[cheeky&sexy]

Yeah i agree he isnt thinking the same as me, i havent heard from him over the w.e at all so yeah now its clear to me we're on a different page and he isnt looking for any strings or attachments. His not the type of guy thats just gonna text me to come over for sex, i cant really imagine that happening i think we'd both feel weird cos i can tell we mutually like each other as people as well as sex.

At this rate i dont even know if we will hook up at his birthday, i mean he doesnt seem to care if i go which makes me wonder about other girls. Im still gonna go though, ill just go like i would go to any of my other friends birthdays n just hang out with my friends, keep my distance and let him take the lead.

Just to clarify though we did have one text convo, but it was very brief that id hardly even call it a convo. Anyway thanks for the advice, i get that id need to spend time with him other than just hooking up to start dating, but if his not ready to date then i guess its just a case of bad timing and ill just have to let it go for now. I dont know what it is about me but i seem to have this knack for only meeting and being into guys who recently got out of long term relationships and arent looking for one.

[HeartIsAching]

Frankly, I don't see a lot of hope. If he felt the same way you'd have a shot, but as someone else said, it doesn't seem that he does.

You MIGHT try communicating with him clearly about it. It may result in what you want, but it also may result in losing even the bit you've got. In my past life as a womanizing asshole, I've walked after having those kinds of conversations. You're basically rolling the dice.

[cheeky&sexy]

Yeah now that times passed im over it, n ive dealt with enough commitment phobic guys or guys just out of a relationship to not want to get emotionally involved with another one of those. But after his birthday on saturday if we have a good time ill probably change my mind lol guess i just have to see what happens saturday and decide from there what to do.