On going mess

[phil1wright]

If you want all the ins and outs, check my other threads.
Started a new one to be specific and short with whats current

Ok, so, before a week ago me and my ex were gradually working towards what felt like sorting stuff out. then she got drunk, we had an argument;
She went her way, slept with this guy.
I went mine, and spoke to her parents about the state shes in and her debt to me (literal, money)
Following that she got very very mad at me for going to her parents, i had warned her if she pushed me i would, and even then i didnt tell them what they didnt need to know, i knew alot of what she was keeping from them, but i wasnt doing it out of spite so i kept that to myself, only told them about her depression and debts.
The first couple of days after that were tough, not rly talking and her mad at me, since then its getting better, but this is the thing, i have no clue what her game, if any is? so the following is what im stuck on

1. After being in the city for uni anyway, i droped by her work to see if she wanted a lift home. She was in a bad mood from work, but she did say she needed a lift to the hospital, and it was revealed shed slept with the guy, and now needed emergancy contraceptives. I took her there, then went home, called her when i got in, and we talked for a while, just like old times.

2. Wednesday i was meant to have a counselling session, thanks in part to the break up and other things, this week i really needed it. But it was postponed. Feeling really low, i text around to alot of friends trying to find someone to chil with for abit or just to tlk to, i also sent a msg to her, but didnt really expect much. But, she came through, after work she came and had a coffee with me, then another drink, then we parted ways.

3. Thinking alot and trying to get my head around stuff and finding our old texts, i called her very briefly to ask the question, did she miss how we used to be? she was taken aback and said tbh she tried not to think about it, so she didnt know

4. No matter what i mention about her and this guy, she makes sure i know shes not exclusive with him

5. Were spending quality time together again, going for drinks/food, chilling, pub quizes. She even left this guy early one day for us to go to the pub

6. Were planning on even more time together, nights out, more pub times, gigs

7. Her stuff of mine, 3 items, A ring i got her for her birthday a year ago, a necklace i got her to remind her of me last summer, and a bracelet i got her as our 1yr anniversary gift. After we split she gave me evrything back, but later wanted them back as they reminded her of me, and she doesnt feel complete without them. She never ever takes off our ring, the other night i asked why she didnt have the bracelet on, she said she just hadnt worn it with her work stuff that day. Today she revealed she did, shed just put it in her bag, scared id ask for it back. I got onto why she was so desperate to keep it anyway, normaly shed say she was materialistic, but she said it was important to her cause it was our 1yr thing

8. Ive signed upto the gym... and passed the expected jokes about it i get from her, she seems "interested" in the idea of me getting buff, saying shed possibly get jealous/attracted

9. Despite not being friends on fb atm, she still checks my page. Particularly when i added an old friend (female) and saw her to catch up. She made note to mention i was getting "pally/close" with her.

10. Despite her saying theres "nothing going on between us" she seems to feel that this "nothing" needs to be kept secret from the other guy?

There it is... the basics of our messy "relationship" right now.
Currently, im torn as to whether or not i can get back with her after what shes done.
I certainly wouldnt be happy to be asking her back out, but if she were to get her head clear and ask me? maybe... im not sure.
This is more a question of what is going on with her head?
Her screwed up head is understandable to me. She screwed up a happy relationship with me, only to be used for sex and dumped by the guy she left me for. She says shes scared to get hurt again. She seems to be repressing alot.
Thoughts? =/

P.s.
I know i have issues in this, i love her beyond belief, possible shining knight syndrome, but our relationship was never based on it. And very likely i have become somewhat codependent on her. These are my problems and i have to come to terms with that.
This threads about her head if thats ok

[MerryH]

I don't know what's going on in her head, but whatever it is, she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If she did, she would be. You're not even sure if you want to be with her. Oh, but if she changes, you'd consider it. Do not ever get into a relationship where you think it would be perfect if only the other person would change. You won't change her.

I know you're trying to keep this thread about her, but I just have to comment on you going to her parents. Dick move. That's only okay in very extreme cases. Yours doesn't sound like one of them. You SO did that out of spite, and here's how I know:

i had warned her if she pushed me i would

Really low. Maybe you should just stay away from her for a long time until you can stop acting crazy.