I have been dating a girl from Taiwan for six months. We are only together for the school year, since she has to go home during spring and summer breaks. We spend a lot of time together since we are in the same program.

I have trouble with anxiety and depression, as well as jealousy. I really try to keep things in perspective. I believe in open communication with my partner. I would tell her anything.

Since she speaks Chinese and I do not, I feel curious about what she writes to other people. It started on facebook: I noticed this one guy coming up all over the place, on pictures, on her wall, on her blog. I asked, and she said, that they were good friends, that he once had a crush on her but she wasn't interested, that she doesn't talk to him hardly ever (though recently I found they talk on a near-daily basis).

I will ask who she's talking to online for three reasons: 1) because I can't read Chinese, otherwise I'd just look at the name, 2) because I'm genuinely curious about her friends and life, 3) yes, I admit because I'm worried about this weird relationship with this other guy.

Prior to our last conversation, I felt like the answer was to just be transparent. I open myself to her, she opens herself to me, and jealous issues are fixed.

However, she has communicated to me that she feels that my inquiries are "oppressive." She says that everyone needs privacy and secrets in order to retain their individuality within the relationship. She called my suggestion of transparency an absurd "rule."

I do not understand why, if this person is such a good friend, I cannot know or ask about this person. Further, while I understand privacy issues (I'm not checking her phone or email, all of this stuff is readily available on the internet), I feel like with one's partner one should be more open and forthcoming, especially about information that makes the other feel insecure about the relationship.

I suppose my questions, to whoever wants to attempt to tackle them, would go as such:

What are healthy privacy boundaries? What steps could one with a history of jealous reactions (such as myself) work to move beyond them?

Thank you.