Me, the Ex, and my confusion

[IncognitoSir]

Ok first some background info. I dated this girl for about a year and 3-4 months. She was my first love and she says I was the best she ever had.....even now. I broke up with her on January 1, 2010. It was the final straw, she blew me off new years eve.

Now here we are, It's March 2011, about a month and a half ago we have a long conversation about whats been happening in our lives and what happened in our failed relationship. The primary reason we broke up was due to her just.......ignoring me for the most part. She claimed to never get my phone calls or text messages......like never. That is unless she needed me of course in which the phones seemed to be working just fine. Also let me add that I admit I was a bit demanding toward the end of the relationship when she begin to push me away which just pushed her even further away. Says she had a lot of emotions and didn't know how to deal with them at the time and panicked. Also she said she felt guilty about encouraging me to move to her new city and watching me struggle to get on my feet. I also got no emotional support from her there at the time. Now here we are trying again. Due to the circumstances that led up to our original breakup I'm really sensitive to the "signs" of history repeating itself.

There was a incident this Saturday which she called my phone maybe 9 or 10 times while I was at work. Honestly I can say it's not normal for me to not at least let her know i'm busy or doing something but this day I just couldn't. It was really busy at work and I was training a new employee.I explained all of this to her, at first she didn't believe me but eventually said she does...... Since Saturday night she's been telling me she hasn't gotten my call or didn't get any texts from me. Mind you, I haven't been blowing her phone up or anything but it only takes 1 text or phone call for it to get thru right? I would like a female perspective on this. We're not even in a relationship, just like a trial period I guess, kinda see how we interact with each other. I DON"T want to hold the past against her as I don't see that as a healthy relationship but I don't want to be a fool either and fall for the same idiotic crap I did the first time. I do still have a lot of feelings for her so I feel like my judgement is being jeopardized by my emotional interference. I've been known to call a situation as something it's not in the past and I'd rather not make that mistake again. She does have a full time job also and it keeps her pretty busy but if she came back to me wouldn't she want to contact me? I feel like I have to do most of the contacting.

For example she TOLD me to "text me if you want" yesterday before I went in to work (she actually called me on her lunch break) I did text her, no response. Said she was going to pass out when she gets home so I might not catch her....okay. Today, I figured I wouldn't be a sour puss about it, sent her a sweet message, wishing her a good day at work, let her know I was thinking about her. That was nearly 12 hours ago, nothing.Is she playing games or what? This is a long distance situation BTW, so communication is LITERALLY all we have between each other which is why this bothers me so much. Ladies, what's your take on the situation? Do I need to take another chill pill cause I thought I was pretty chill or is their something I'm missing?
I know it's always a long shot with an ex but I'm the type to exhaust all of my options before I give up for good so I'm giving this as good a shot as I can.

P.S. When I ask her about why she hasn't called me back or responded to a text she ALWAYS has a perfect excuse or reason. Always. Now when she was buttering me up to tell me she wanted to try again........phones calls everyday, texting all day and night. Now.......not so much.

[MerryH]

Your "trial period" seems to not be going very well.

Calling you 9 or 10 times while you're at work is kind of insane. Isn't that annoying? And then she didn't believe you when you explained why you weren't at her beck and call. And then she ignored your texts and messages (I don't believe that she's not getting them, and neither do you.) You're not enjoying this at all, are you.

You broke up with her because she blew you off one too many times, right? She's still blowing you off.

[Petit Papillon]

Do not play with exes, it's a dangerous game my friend. Tell her it's time to move on and you can't be friends . I think she needs some NC from you, this girl is getting crazy and she's forcing you to play her mind games . It's not healthy. Just walk away .

[IncognitoSir]

I agree with both of you. I don't believe her, but I also didnt want to make any rash decisions either. She came to my city to visit me about a month ago, it went great, but after that it's been a VERY rocky road. i haven't been enjoying this at all, I was thinking to myself last night, "what do I benefit from all this"? I couldn't come up with anything. Guess I should of stuck to my own beliefs and stayed far away from her.

[IncognitoSir]

UPDATE...
So I tried calling her today to let her know how I feel and to completely break it off with her, this was around 2 Pm. I get nothing in return. So I call her again when I get out of the movie theater around 9 PM tonight and nothing, actually sends me to voicemail after 2 or 3 rings so I decide to leave her a voicemail, short and sweet and to the point. I just let her know that I was done with it all, I've had enough and that she doesnt need to call me back. Shortly after she responds with, "I'm at work babe whats up". Yet again, she has the perfect excuse. Now she MAY be at work now but she has definitely had more than enough time to contact me since Tuesday. I'm sure she's going to blow my phone up around 11 or so and tell me all the excuses and reasons as to why shes been too busy blah blah blah. I know where she works, hell I used to work with her it's where we met........it's not that serious at all I assure you. I just hope I don't lose it on her on the phone, I've been festering over this for the past few days.

[MerryH]

I just hope I don't lose it on her on the phone, I've been festering over this for the past few days.

You're not going to lose it on her on the phone, because you're not going to answer her calls. Right?

I think you're doing the best thing by breaking it off with her. But that means really breaking it off. Block her number/email/etc. Don't let her play with you anymore. She should be dead to you.

[Lovable]

I think you did the right thing by breaking it off with her. She's doing the same stuff she did to you when you finally had it & broke it off with her.

You know what, you left her that voicemail telling her it's DONE!! There's really nothing more you need to say to her on the subject. Let her call with excuses, block her texts or calls. If you have to change your phone number, it's easy enough to have done. Block her from your life & move on from this game playing little girl!