How to be 'more femenine'?

[chica]

Hello everyone I've been dating this guy for about two months. He's really sweet and nice, but I think he's kind of freaking out about his life. He's been really stressed lately so he's been worrying about everything, including our relationship. He says that he doesn't want me to change because he loves me just the way I am, but he's been excessively worrying about stuff....

Anyway, today he mentioned about how it concerns him about how he doesn't really act "manly" in the relationship. I've always noticed that he has more of a feminine personality: he is more gentle, talks softly, talks about his emotions, etc. As long as he's not gay this type of personality doesn't bother me at all! : I actually like that he's sensitive. But it seems to bother him that he's not very "manly" and he seems intimidated by the "manliness" of other guys. I think he just feels kind of insecure....

However, he was raised by his mom from a very young age (his parents are divorced) and wasn't introduced to another male role model more than 10 years after. I figure maybe living with just his mom and brothers made him have this personality type....it doesn't really bother me...but it bothers me that it bothers him (does that make sense?). Why does he feel like he has to be manly?

I also didn't group up in a traditional household. My mom passed away when I was young and therefore I've always lived with men since about after age 10. Therefore, I've never felt extremely feminine either. My boyfriend says he doesn't want me to change who I am, but it makes him feel a little strange and insecure that I act more "manly" in the relationship and he acts more "womanly" in the relationship.

I won't change who I am; I've always been independent and driven....and if that's a "manly" characteristic so be it. But how can I appear more feminine and 'softer' in the relationship? And how do I make my boyfriend feel more "manly"? It's not really for personal benefit but I just know that he wants to feel more manly. I thought that in the 21st century we wouldn't really have problems with gender issues and gender roles, but I suppose that it does create a lot of confusion when people deviate from the norms.

I like the fact that my boyfriend can share his feelings with me, but sometimes he seems to worry A LOT and not really take action....I never really associated this stress with gender, but perhaps he feels like he's not stepping up and 'being a man'. So how do I act more like a 'woman' and what can I do to help him feel more like a man?

Thanks!

[Anturo]

Give him problems.

Let him fix them.

Do not fix them for him. Do not help him fix them.

[Ric]

Well, one possible way to make him feel more manly is by incorporating it into sex, making him take a dominant role (If he is up to that).
Other than that, he will just need to accept himself for who he is as you've accepted yourself for who you are. Changing who you are will only leave you miserable.