Help me please> i need my space?

[dftalontsi]

I have been with this girl for over 2 years and we have had our problems and we had a kid. he was this years new years baby for my area. we have our arguments about stupid little stuff as every couple does. we agree that we both need to get out of the area we are in because there isnt many jobs and the people around us cause eachother drama. we are both victims of cheaters and we dont exactly trust eachother for that reason. it hurt so bad when my first girlfriend dumped me. and still does. i thought that she was the love of my life and then she said "i need my space". and now the girl i am/was with said she needs her space and pretty much doing everything that my first did before we broke up. i can't handle it. it hurts soo bad and i am so in love with the girl i am/was with now. i am so afraid that there is someone else. she said that there isn't but should i trust her? she moved out of the house we were living in and moved back to her hometown because i thought that she might be more happy there. and i have been back and forth from my home town. i am staying it my house for about another week and then i lose it because i cant afford it. she doesnt want me to move in with her cuz she needs her space and now i really have no other choice but to move 3 hours away with a friend or im homless. WHAT DO I DO?!? from what girls tell me, i am attractive, so is my girl. neither one of us has a problem getting in a relationship. its the hanging on to one thats the problem. WHAT IS SHE THINKING?!?

[MerryH]

and now the girl i am/was with said she needs her space and pretty much doing everything that my first did before we broke up.

Yeah, she most likely wants to end it with you but is too big of a chicken shit to actually tell you that. This "I need space" thing almost always means you're breaking up. Sorry.

Even if she's thinking she might get back with you someday, it's really not fair to ask you to wait around for it. You should just move on.

[flo_22]

I think you should tell her your situation. That you will have to move 3 hours away but if she wants you to stay with her then you will or if she wants her space, then you'll give it to her. Make it clear that you respect her wishes. She'll respect you more for that. Also, be clear about how you feel about her and what you want so that she knows this and can take this into consideration. That way there will be no mixed messages on your part, and you'll feel less helpless because you've done all you can do. It'll be up to her then.

As much as it sucks, space can be a good thing. She might realise that she does want you after being apart from you. Sometimes it takes people to realise what they had once its gone. And maybe you'll realise that you can have a life away from her. You're in the middle of all this at the minute and your emotions are all over the place. Space can create clarity, at least in my experience, and I think it's probably a good idea to get away for a while while things are so raw.

I know it's hard, but as long as you are open and honest with her before you go, then you'll know then that it all you can do. If she decides that she wants you back, you want it to be her own decision, and not out of sympathy. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you, things will get better!

[smackie9]

You should be taking a better look at what is important here.....your child. Relationships will come and go, but that child is yours foever and you have a responsability to that child. The best thing to do is to at least creat a friendship with her so the child will not suffer because of your break up. A child will put pressure on any relationship so I suggest you do give her her space so she can sort out and adjust to her life as a mother. I know people tend to want a break because there might be another interest but in this case I believe it has a lot to do with this life changing ordeal of having a child and having to raise it. When children come into the picture many couples break under the stress of the responsability, hence the fighting and needing space. We don't know you personally so we don't know the extent of your arguments. I can only guess it has a lot to do with the lack of job, and financial security. So maybe she is waiting to see if you are going to pull up your boot straps and get back to earning money, finding a place to live and support this child.