Staying single

[VeronicaHills]

I have not been single since I was 14 years old. I never go out seeking relationships, they just fall into my lap. After a break up, I try to keep busy, go out with my friends, etc. and inevitably end up meeting a lot of guys. I date casually for awhile, going out to dinner, etc. but it's not long before I find one that turns into more. I want to stay single so bad! Should I just refuse dates??? I admit that attention from the opposite sex helps so much to propel me out of heart break. I feel like this is normal...? Maybe that's the issue I need to address?

Are some people just lifelong relationship people? Is there really a whole lot I can learn from being alone? What's a fair amount of time to commit to being alone for? What if I pass up a great relationship opportunity during that time?

[AirbenderAang]

Do some inner investigative work on yourself. What is it that pushes a dating relationship into "something more"? You described it like it just magically happened. Even if it seems magical, there is always a process. Also there are usually traits and relationship interaction styles that unconsiously draw us in. You should use this time to find out all of the reasons you were drawn to each of your exes.

Also examine what were the problems in each of your past relationships. With each problem you should seriously examine how you deserve some of the blame. If you don't deserve any blame, then you need to ask yourself why you picked someone who was so obviously ________(fill in the blank). So as you can see, you will always bare some responsibility for a relationship's problems.

Lastly, unless you are doing personal development work that requires you to be single, don't force singlehood. You won't get much benefit from such a relationship fast. Also, you should have a good reason for being single. Right now it just sounds like, "I haven't been single in a while. I should be single now. I don't really want to be single. I would much rather continue using my time dating."

[Yet another guy]

Why on earth would you want to be single? Only thing you'll learn is that it sucks.

If you want people to ask you out less, your best bet is to appear uglier. I don't know how to achieve that uness you wan't to super size yourself, though. Avoid wearing revealing clothes at least. Maybe wear some expensive jewellry. Behave like a bitch.

If you want to date casually without it turning into anything more, always start your dating by stating that you don't want a boyfriend. Preferably before the first date. That should solve your problem and doing otherwise would be unfair to the people you are leading on.

[bloodtippedrose]

Don't wear makeup or brush your hair

[DoesntMatter]

I never go out seeking relationships, they just fall into my lap.

Ya, it's called being a woman

[smexygirl89]

I think it depends. I have had a couple of serious relationships and I have had a few years where I have been single. I have enjoyed both time. When your single its all about you and what you want out of your life. No one else to influence your desision. You are alot more carefree. But then there are time when you just wantto snuggle up at home or someone to go and do things with. That is when relationships are good. You have somebody to share all the good times with... someone to talk about everything. But then there are usually the odd drama with relationships too haha I think they both have their good and bad points. I think as long as your happy and comfortable with where you are there shouldnt be an issue. If you wana take a year out to be single and do your own thing then do that. They will always bbe waiting! =)