Fed up of feeling like this

[wainymonster]

Hi everyone,

I really fancied this guy at work from the first day I started working there about 2 and half years ago. Didn't think much of it since I was in a relationship of 2 years which I wasn't happy in and thought it was a crush that would pass. However my feelings for him grew more and more and I found I liked him more than my boyfriend (who didn't treat me good) and we ended up splitting for other reasons.

Anyway it got to the point about May last year a few months after I split from my ex that I had to get over this guy at work because I knew it was never gonna happen, he's one of the managers and he has a kid and I didn't think he liked me in that way. I couldn't though so instead I got his number and text him. After about 3 weeks we got together we had known each other for a year and half so wasn't that bad and we was really good together. I thought everything was great until February (nearly 8 months after getting together) when he finished with me, I was distraught because I thought I'd finally got the man I had wanted for so long and he hadn't even given me a reason.

He eventually told me his ex had got back in touch with him about a year after they split and told him she still loved him and she only split with him because her mum told her too. I remember at work when she split with him and he was in a bad way because she told him she wasn't ready for a serious relationship and I hated her because she'd hurt him like that. However I accepted the fact that she had got in touch and he couldn't be with me while he had feelings for her. He told me that he wish he had never met her because he would of been so happy with me and would of spent years with me if she hadn't come along.

However 2 months on and I'm still crying over him because the person I've wanted for so long has just gone, he's told me he doesn't think we'll get back together again and we've given our stuff back to each other since we stopped at each others houses every night almost and I still find myself texting him to just hear from him and still thinking about him none stop.

I still work with him which is the worst part because I see him and know I can't have him. He still wants to be friends with me and I don't think he really wanted this to happen and I don't think they are together (someone at work told me he had said doesn't see how it would work because they would have to sneak around so her mum doesn't find out, hardly a relationship but if they love each other...) I'm cut up about this whole thing and no one I know can understand how I'm so understanding and not angry at him. I would take him back any day because I don't blame this on him he can't help his feelings and I miss him so much.

It doesn't help when 2 days ago I asked him for the computer lead for his phone, which I gave to him, so I can download all my images off it, he texts me to say 'have I ever told you how beautiful you are?' and makes me so confused as to what's happening!

Just need someone to tell me where to go, how to cope and what to do because I feel like I'm going around in circles! I'm 2 months behind on my uni work too because I just can't face doing it.

Sorry about the long writing, it's a long story and feel I need to explain all so you can understand.

Thanks xx

[Pakistani]

wow there is this girl at my work, who loves me, but i keep ignoring her

[98db]

If his kid is with the Ex he is getting back together with then I think you should back off. If not, all is fair in love and war. Be warned that given the choice between you and his Ex, he has already chosen his Ex once over you. That would be enough for me to move on, but if you think he is worth it, then go for it.

[Cinnabella]

Respect his choice, you can't force someone to love you, and you wouldn't want to have a forced love, right?