Should I listen to my gut feeling?

[ohdollface]

I just lost my entire post so this will probably be brief

Me & the boy:
-both 23 and college grads
-had instant connection the first time we met
-been dating for 4 months
-waited 2 months til being intimate


Me:
-I know he's the one
-I'm in love with him and have almost slipped and said it multiple occasions
-I feel childish for wanting to tell him after 4 months
-My last serious relationship was when I was 19 and ended when I was 21. That was the last time I've said I love you & it was real.


The boy:
-When we began dating, he told me he liked me a lot constantly (not as often now, though)
-After a month of dating he told me he wanted to make sure we don't rush into being boyfriend and girlfriend. & how he felt as if our relationship was real. As if he could be himself and didn't have to hide anything about himself to me.
-Initially was weird about putting our relationship on facebook but after 3 months he initiated it without me asking.
-Invites me to family events, I've already met a significant portion of his extended family.


The Question:
In fear of him still afraid of us "rushing into things," my gut tells me I should wait to tell him I love you until I'm about to burst. Until I can't take it anymore. But personally, I'm ready to let him know. I'm sure he can tell from my actions that I'm crazy about him but I want to tell him although I'm afraid of what opening up to him in that manner will cause. I love him so much that all the fears that come with being in a relationship don't matter to me anymore. They're still there but I'm willing to put myself out there. But I in no way want to change our relationship for the worse all because I said "I love you" too soon.

I feel kind of silly for feeling like this at 23. It's like I'm 19 all over again haha.

[bloodtippedrose]

If he feels he doesn't have to hide anything from you then its only right that you shouldn't feel like you have to hide things from him. After only two weeks of dating someone I told them I loved them, which normally I wouldn't do, but I FELT it was right, and Im still with them 3 years later. There is no set time you should get to before you tell him how you feel. If you tell him and he responds negatively after four months then maybe you should be taking a look around and see what's preventing him from not reciprocating. Possibly not being over an ex? Maybe involved with someone else? who knows. But when guys are in love they don't hide it or make excuses to not love back without some drama going on elsewhere.

[CollegeGirl]

Aww!! How sweet!

I think it's always best to listen to your gut feeling. If deep down you feel like you should wait to tell him then that's probably best. Especially since he wants to take things slow. I understand that when you meet the right person, you just know and although your feelings for him are very strong, you don't want to rush him into dropping the "L" word. When he's ready to tell you he loves you, he will

[jb1111983]

Sounds like he's being cautious for whatever reason. I'd like to know how you responded when he said he liked you. Was it "I like you too" or a simple "Thank you!". Sometimes us blokes say this to see how you respond to it. We usually mean it too.
Ok he sees in your actions that you're crazy about him but he won't know for sure until you tell him so. But wait. Let him be the first to say those three words. Trust me this works better if you want a long term relationship. Play a little hard to get. Such girls interest men more than those easily available.

[ohdollface]

I'd like to know how you responded when he said he liked you. Was it "I like you too" or a simple "Thank you!".

The first couple of times I thought it was weird and would just kiss him. When he continued to say it, I would say "I like you too." Then I said it to him a couple of times and he responded, "I like you too." When I started saying it first he stopped. I don't know if that means anything. But he continues to say other sweet things like sending texts that say "I hope you have a good day." And the other week he told me I'm really sweet and sweet girls like me are hard to find.

It amuses me that you recommend me to play hard to get. I always thought that sort of game was over once you're in a relationship.

[jb1111983]

I said that cuz you two haven't said those words yet. Just don't make it very hard lol. But then it's just my opinion. You're a much better judge of your situation. So follow your guts the way put it. I still say wait for him to say first but it don't always have to be that way. If he doesn't and you feel the time is right go ahead. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.
Maybe he stopped saying I like you because he doesn't feel the need to say it anymore now that you know he really does and that there are other ways to say and show. Maybe it could also mean that he probably likes you a bit more than just "I like you".

[anonymoususer]

you should say it

[IncognitoSir]

The first couple of times I thought it was weird and would just kiss him. When he continued to say it, I would say "I like you too." Then I said it to him a couple of times and he responded, "I like you too." When I started saying it first he stopped. I don't know if that means anything. But he continues to say other sweet things like sending texts that say "I hope you have a good day." And the other week he told me I'm really sweet and sweet girls like me are hard to find.

It amuses me that you recommend me to play hard to get. I always thought that sort of game was over once you're in a relationship.

That's because "games" don't belong in a relationship. How would you feel if you end up pushing him away with game playing??? Just be real with him, that's what you'd want from him right? Part of being in a relationship is having enough trust in the other person to be honest with them. Don't over think this, it's very simple.

[ohdollface]

Part of being in a relationship is having enough trust in the other person to be honest with them. Don't over think this, it's very simple.

With that being said, I think I'm gonna tell him. PLUS... we were watching tv today and I swear, every episode was about being in love or someone saying I love you to someone else. it's like it's haunting me. He just left my house and I wish that I had told him today.

[IncognitoSir]

With that being said, I think I'm gonna tell him. PLUS... we were watching tv today and I swear, every episode was about being in love or someone saying I love you to someone else. it's like it's haunting me. He just left my house and I wish that I had told him today.

You're a hopeless romantic, that's TV girl lol! "put no trust in tomorrow......cease the day!"
Somebody else came up with that, can't remember who..

[jb1111983]

Haha reminds me of the time when I decided to ask this girl out. We were with some mutual friends watching a movie at a friend's. It was LOVE ACTUALLY. And it was like seeing my situation on a screen! If you've seen the movie you know it ends with everyone saying I love you to their love interest. After the movie I asked her "can I have 5 min of your time? We could go for a short walk". She agreed. I told her everything. I was very nervous. She said she needed some time to think over it. The next day she invited me for dinner at her place. She met me at the door and said "can I kiss you?". And we kissed.

[ohdollface]

You're a hopeless romantic, that's TV girl lol! "put no trust in tomorrow......cease the day!"
Somebody else came up with that, can't remember who..

Haha. You are right. I am SUCH a hopeless romantic.

[violingirl]

Just went through this myself actually. I worried and obsessed for several months about whether or not I should tell him I love him. I felt like I was going to explode in a million pieces if I didn't say it. I imagined every possible response...good, bad, ugly. Finally last week I got up the courage and told him how I was feeling. His response? "Well, I guess you could say I love you too." If you feel like you NEED to say it, do it. After 4 months, he knows whether or not he wants to work on having a future with you. Guys are alot smarter than we give them credit for. If he really likes you and respects you, he's not gonna freak out even if he doesn't feel the same way. He'll respect you and stick around.

[devonbrown]

Open and honest communication is the only way to go if you want to have a long-lasting relationship. If he doesn't appreciate your being honest and open about your feelings, he is not the right one. And it is better to find that out now.

Good luck.

[ohdollface]

Just went through this myself actually. I worried and obsessed for several months about whether or not I should tell him I love him. I felt like I was going to explode in a million pieces if I didn't say it. I imagined every possible response...good, bad, ugly. Finally last week I got up the courage and told him how I was feeling. His response? "Well, I guess you could say I love you too." If you feel like you NEED to say it, do it. After 4 months, he knows whether or not he wants to work on having a future with you. Guys are alot smarter than we give them credit for. If he really likes you and respects you, he's not gonna freak out even if he doesn't feel the same way. He'll respect you and stick around.

I'm so glad you shared that with me! Thanks!!