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Thread: what is cheating ?

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    what is cheating ?

    I dont know why i have been accused of cheating when i haven't ! we were in a long distance relationship and getting to know each other ... she started acting wired for a month and we used to have some arguments but at the end we would be alright..... she started getting annoyed with me... calling her all the time.... .... she broke up with me saying i cheated on her......
    is fantasing about girls cheating ? just talking to friends (girls) .. .... i dont know ... i dont know how to be in a relationship..... is there like some tips on how to make things work better next time..... thnx for ur advice....

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    No such thing as cheating before marriage. As long as you are single, it's fair game.

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    Ummmm whatever goes on in your head is nobody's business but your own. Everyone thinks of, fantasizes about other people in a sexual manner......it's not cheating. As for long distance....don't do them. It gets to a point that if a relationship can't go to the next level of seeing each other in person, it starts to fall apart. Anyways this girl was an insecure nut job that needs some growing up to do. Better luck next time....and date locally!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaius View Post
    No such thing as cheating before marriage. As long as you are single, it's fair game.
    Sorry but that is incorrect. If it is an agreed arrangement of exclusivity, that means that there is an understanding that there is no dating other people unless stipulated, then it would be called an open relationship. Now if someone hits on or goes after your GF then yes she is fair game if she doesn't have a ring on her finger.

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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    Sorry but that is incorrect. If it is an agreed arrangement of exclusivity, that means that there is an understanding that there is no dating other people unless stipulated, then it would be called an open relationship. Now if someone hits on or goes after your GF then yes she is fair game if she doesn't have a ring on her finger.
    Agree completely

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaius View Post
    No such thing as cheating before marriage.
    LOL bullshit. If you're in a realtionship and you screw someone you cheated.

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    If two people want to be exclusive, they should be committed to each other via engagement or marriage.
    If they are not ready for such commitment, then they are not ready for exclusivity either.
    Everyone does what he/she feels is right. Just because you "say" you're exclusive, doesn't make it so.
    You can change your mind at any time without consequences. You can date other people without penalty.
    As long as your status is "single", you can date whomever you wish. You can hump whomever you wish.
    You can't cheat on someone who is not yours to cheat on.

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    If you're "single", yet have an exclusive relationship with someone, yeah,humping someone else is cheating. Yet when you're "single" why not just break it off before hand. There are consiquences to every action.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaius View Post
    If two people want to be exclusive, they should be committed to each other via engagement or marriage.
    If they are not ready for such commitment, then they are not ready for exclusivity either.
    Everyone does what he/she feels is right. Just because you "say" you're exclusive, doesn't make it so.
    You can change your mind at any time without consequences. You can date other people without penalty.
    As long as your status is "single", you can date whomever you wish. You can hump whomever you wish.
    You can't cheat on someone who is not yours to cheat on.
    Dude, April Fools Day is on Friday. You're early.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaius View Post
    No such thing as cheating before marriage. As long as you are single, it's fair game.
    Wonder how many times you used that after you got caught humping someone

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaius View Post
    If two people want to be exclusive, they should be committed to each other via engagement or marriage.
    If they are not ready for such commitment, then they are not ready for exclusivity either.
    Everyone does what he/she feels is right. Just because you "say" you're exclusive, doesn't make it so.
    You can change your mind at any time without consequences. You can date other people without penalty.
    As long as your status is "single", you can date whomever you wish. You can hump whomever you wish.
    You can't cheat on someone who is not yours to cheat on.
    You can be committed to one another without being engaged or married

    What about long term partners who have had children together / purchased a house together? Are you saying it's ok to sleep around because technically you are not married? so anything goes?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaius View Post
    If two people want to be exclusive, they should be committed to each other via engagement or marriage.
    If they are not ready for such commitment, then they are not ready for exclusivity either.
    Everyone does what he/she feels is right. Just because you "say" you're exclusive, doesn't make it so.
    You can change your mind at any time without consequences. You can date other people without penalty.
    As long as your status is "single", you can date whomever you wish. You can hump whomever you wish.
    You can't cheat on someone who is not yours to cheat on.
    Commitment can and does occur long before any sort of proposal/ acceptance.

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    Commitment isn't an on/off switch, dude. Commitment grows over time. I commit to spend a few hours with someone I hardly know, eventually I commit to not severing this connection without some discussion, I commit to sexual and romantic exclusivity, I commit to shared secrets, and shared holidays, the commitment grows until we are both comfortable calling it a forever sort of love. The level of commitment required to stop screwing other people is significantly lower than the amount required to promise to love someone forever. That's why sexual exclusivity comes WAYYYYY before engagement for pretty much every sane human being.

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    I've been with my guy for 21 years....and we never married...we are committed to each other exclusively. Ya don't need a ring.

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