Giving advice on assumption of lying.

[Ric]

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum, but the off topic forum is for things not related to the rest of the forum, so I figured it wouldn't fit there. But, feel free to move it.

Anyway, on this forum and many other forums people sure do love to give advice. They often read the story and instead of taking the word of whoever asks, many instead just assume the one asking for advice is lying. Too often I see advice given not based upon the story, but rather based upon assuming the story is full of false truths and full lies.

This doesn't happen occasionally, this happens on plenty of stories that could just as easily be truthful.

When someone asks for advice, should we really be calling them a liar and telling them what exactly they want and are thinking? Or should it be better to give advice based upon what they write and if they were lying in some way, have it be their own fault if things don't work out?

[oneandonly]

hmmm can't care less, to be honest.

I am around all the time - this site is really addictive but don't write much. Have read lots of posts but not read a lot about stories being true or not. But does it really matter?

Personally when I post, it's more about venting. Mostly, I know what to do and what's best for me.

I don't think anyone is in a position to take posters' issues seriously than themselves so whether they are true or not, it's down to them to take advice or ignore them. Including mockeries they may not like to hear. It's an open forum.

[seganomics]

i don't know that i've ever thought of that. but i think there is a side to every story. right before my boyfriend broke up with me he posted about me on this site and the advice given was based off of verison of the story that i didn't think was accurate at all.

but as humans we don't know what we don't know. if someone is going to mis represent something to get advice then the advice they get will not the benefical to them and that's their fault.

[devonbrown]

I think that when people give advice, it is often only meant to be in the best interest of the person.And, I think most advice is from a place of experience of similar circumstances, or at least personal understanding of humanity. And if the advice is laced with some belief that there may be falsehoods implied, it is only because of such personal experience, and the understanding that often people lie. Not just to others, but to themselves.

Personally, I try to believe every poster, hoping that they have been able to think things through in their own head and are putting a fair assessment of the situation on the forum. But sometimes people's emotions cloud what they can see as the truth.

But I don't think it is any intent to label people as liars or anything like that. I think we are all just trying to do the best we can.

[Ric]

I agree that most people give advice based upon own experiences.

However, I still see a lot of judgemental advice going on. This is counterproductive. If a person comes to ask for advice and has to filter through a load of posts that basically call him a liar and then proceed to giving him advice he never asked for, does that person really want to stick around? And does it help that person at all?