Was I A Jerk?

[EmptyChurch]

Booo.





It's funny how you use this as your defense, as if it somehow makes you a good guy, or something? Do you not see how ****ed up this is? You're being terrible to your girlfriend.

Every time someone has brought up the idea of leaving your girlfriend, you either ignore it, or you sidestep the issue and focus only on your mistress, or you make excuses by putting the blame on your girlfriend.

So you won't address that issue in real life, and you won't even address it here. I haven't witnessed cowardice like this for a long time. It's sort of entertaining, I guess.

I haven't ignored anything. I've given the reasons why I don't leave my girlfriend several times on this thread and you all have ignored them.

I didn't want to go into this because it makes me sound like even more of a troll... BUt my girlfriend is a violent person. Last year she broke my 12 year old daughter's finger in a fit of rage because she couldn't find the car keys. I told her if she's ever violent toward the kids again I'm gone.

So, I've said it how many times now and I'll say it again, I STAY FOR MY KIDS.

We aren't married. If I leave I know she will use the kids against me. And custody goes to the mother 90% of the time in these cases. My girlfriend is a pot head, a felon, and a child abuser. I know it seems so obvious that custody would go to me when all this is considered. But the system is screwed up. I have no criminal record, I don't smoke pot or do any other drugs, etc... But, the one thing working against me is that I currently can't work. I am recovering from a very bad injury that almost killed me a few months ago. The doctor says it will be a year or so before I am healthy enough to work again. I filed for short term disability. But that takes forever. THe year will probably be up by the time my disability even kicks in.

So, if I leave I'm afraid of losing custody of my kids and not being able to protect them from their toxic mother.

I know now everyone will just say I'm making excuses. But hopefully this will shed some light on why I stay.

[hello1]

If she did that to your daughter then can't you get custody?

[MerryH]

So, I've said it how many times now and I'll say it again, I STAY FOR MY KIDS.

Okay, but you said this before:

For what it's worth, if my friends husband suddenly divorced her, I would leave my girlfriend in a second. It's the fact that she is married that keeps us from really being togehter.

So protecting your children from their toxic mother wouldn't be a concern if you could run away with your friend? Surely that's not what your plan is, but you can see how there are holes in your attempts to justify your behavior.

The fact that she's abusive to your children is an even better reason to leave. Allowing your children to remain in a situation where they are being abused is even more irresponsible than screwing around with other women. Your morals seem nonexistent. Get your shit together and start doing the right thing. Find a lawyer, let them counsel you on how to go about getting custody and follow through with it. You're just as guilty of abuse as she is if you allow this to continue any longer.

[EmptyChurch]

You are just going to demonize r everything I say aren't you? I never said I didn't want to protect my kids from their abusive mother. That's the reason I stay! If I left I would want my kids with me. Not their mother.

[JadenMia]

You are just going to demonize r everything I say aren't you? I never said I didn't want to protect my kids from their abusive mother. That's the reason I stay! If I left I would want my kids with me. Not their mother.

You just dont get it do you...? lol If the mother of your kids was abusive toward them.. you would have left already. If she is as bad as you say, then drop this whole stupid situation and concentrate on getting your kids out of their!!!! Some people..

[EmptyChurch]

You just dont get it do you...? lol If the mother of your kids was abusive toward them.. you would have left already. If she is as bad as you say, then drop this whole stupid situation and concentrate on getting your kids out of their!!!! Some people..

How am I supposed to do this with no money?

I can't work right now. I am recovering from a very bad injury from back in October. My doctor has told me I won't be able to work for about a year. I can't lift over ten pounds and I can't stand for long periods of time. Believe me, I hate it. Most of my experience has been industrial. Who the hell will hire someone for an industrial job wen they can't stand or lift?

How am I supposed to pay a lawyer? How am I supposed to find a place for my kids and I to live when I have no income? I've filed for temporary disability. But by the time that kicks in, I will probably be able to work again.

Honestly, I am miserable. I feel like nothing but a worthless failure. I feel trapped in this situation... There are so many things working against me. The fact that I am not healthy, the fact that my friend is married... etc.

Honestly, sometimes I wish I would have died back in October... I came close.

This relationship with my friend is one of the few things that brings me comfort in life.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

This relationship with my friend is one of the few things that brings me comfort in life.

Then don't jeopardize it by being a ****ing idiot and alienating your partner. Idiot.

[Anturo]

I didn't read all 4 pages to find out where we currently stand with the advice and situation.

That being said I did read the OP.

Advice: You've shown your ass to spite your face. (What an ugly one it was)

I'd not be surprised if you never get a chance with this girl you "love" again. I'd not be surprised if she cut off benefits and everything.

Dude if the girl you are banging regularly says no to a 3some then don't prod it or you just might find yourself with a 1some.

[MerryH]

You are just going to demonize r everything I say aren't you? I never said I didn't want to protect my kids from their abusive mother. That's the reason I stay! If I left I would want my kids with me. Not their mother.

Oh, jeez. Stop playing the victim. I'm not demonizing everything you say, you completely contradicted yourself and I pointed it out because your reasoning is bullshit.

How am I supposed to do this with no money?

I can't work right now. I am recovering from a very bad injury from back in October. My doctor has told me I won't be able to work for about a year. I can't lift over ten pounds and I can't stand for long periods of time. Believe me, I hate it. Most of my experience has been industrial. Who the hell will hire someone for an industrial job wen they can't stand or lift?

Can you sit behind a desk for long periods of time? Can you honest-to-god not work any job whatsoever?

How am I supposed to pay a lawyer? How am I supposed to find a place for my kids and I to live when I have no income? I've filed for temporary disability. But by the time that kicks in, I will probably be able to work again.

It took me five seconds to do a google search for "free legal help for abuse victims." Here's the first link: [url=http://www.avhotline.org/]Abuse Victim Hotline - Free help and referrals for victims of abuse[/url]

There are TONS of resources available to abuse victims. There is no good excuse to not take advantage. Call around and find out about legal help, housing, government assistance, employment, etc.

There are so many things working against me.

No. It's mostly you working against yourself. It's like you refuse to behave responsibly. You're in a terrible situation and you've just given up on improving it. It's pathetic.

[Petit Papillon]

I propose to ignore him and other people who come here to get an advice they DON'T WANT TO TAKE. Last 5 pages are about him whining and people trying to convince him that what he can do to improve his situation is to change himself. Ah ah ah ... Been here more than 3 years and it's like a Groundhog day (the movie) . SERIOUSLY , it will repeat until we start to ignore such people (read improve ourselves as members of this forum )

[MerryH]

I propose to ignore him and other people who come here to get an advice they DON'T WANT TO TAKE. Last 5 pages are about him whining and people trying to convince him that what he can do to improve his situation is to change himself. Ah ah ah ... Been here more than 3 years and it's like a Groundhog day (the movie) . SERIOUSLY , it will repeat until we start to ignore such people (read improve ourselves as members of this forum )

Yeah, I wont lie but this thread is infuriating me.

You guys could just stop clicking on this thread if it's bothering you.

[Petit Papillon]

Yeah, I wont lie but this thread is infuriating me.

If you want to stay on this forum, it's not the last thread that will irritate the shit out of you. That's why I said, practice ignoring such bullshit ,before it gets too difficult to do it You could get yourself in trouble

[EmptyChurch]

Yeah, I wont lie but this thread is infuriating me.

Yet you're still here.

[EmptyChurch]

If you want to stay on this forum, it's not the last thread that will irritate the shit out of you. That's why I said, practice ignoring such bullshit ,before it gets too difficult to do it You could get yourself in trouble

Is there an ignore list feature on this forum? If there is, please feel free to add me to yours. I'm really not here to bother people. I'm just here to talk and maybe get some guidance.

[EmptyChurch]

Oh, jeez. Stop playing the victim. I'm not demonizing everything you say, you completely contradicted yourself and I pointed it out because your reasoning is bullshit.



Can you sit behind a desk for long periods of time? Can you honest-to-god not work any job whatsoever?



It took me five seconds to do a google search for "free legal help for abuse victims." Here's the first link: [url=http://www.avhotline.org/]Abuse Victim Hotline - Free help and referrals for victims of abuse[/url]

There are TONS of resources available to abuse victims. There is no good excuse to not take advantage. Call around and find out about legal help, housing, government assistance, employment, etc.



No. It's mostly you working against yourself. It's like you refuse to behave responsibly. You're in a terrible situation and you've just given up on improving it. It's pathetic.

I could do a desk job without any problems (no problems from my injury, I mean.) I can sit for a long time. I don't know what desk job I could get hired to do though. I could always try applying for a few. I have no office experience. I also don't have a degree, which most offices want. I went to college for two years, couldn't finish because I couldn't afford it. I am excwellent with computers. But I don't think that alone is good enough to land an office job.

I would also have to seriously change the way I look. I am not clean cut at all. Not that I wouldn't be willing, if it meant having a good job.

Thank you for doing the google search. I WILL look into that. I honestly never thought about it before... I never considered myself an abuse victim. Because I am male do you think anyone will take me serious as an abuse victim? I am not making an excuse, I am actually asking.