Only in soap opra's....

[Saba]

I have a problem. I have this girl for over a year and she loved me too. I got engaged to her shortly before our one year. Why you ask? Becuase she was the one i would marry, and i knew it. Its a feeling belive me. She felt the same way. After a year... she started to care for this guy, a guy she goes to skool with. she got so confused as why she liked him. the only possibilites were this...

1. He reminds her of me
2. Hes very nice, kind, wise, and what ever the hell else.
3. I drove her into his arms becuase i didnt comfort her that much and he was always there for her.

Maybe its all 3, maybe maybe maybe, i think of all these things. Im going crazy. She loves me still but doesnt know what she wants. she broke up with me yesterday to find out what her feelings were for him. This guy now... he loves someone else but he TOO cares for my (ex-fiancee) she still loves me and he still loves someone else. He rejected her today and she feels hurt by him. she says she cares for him more then a friend... what does this mean. I want her back how can i help her get unconfussed. If i cant have her then i want her to be happy.

If she wants me, what do i do to get back into her life
If she wants me to be alone, what do i do to stop this hurt inside me...

please someone help...

[King Zarathu]

Ahhhhh what to do what to do. I know your feeling of pain and hurt inside you, and trust me it's normal.

I'm 14 years old and **** dude, I still feel the same exact shit and your feelings for her are only going to **** you up.

If she wants me, what do i do to get back into her life

Now.. man, it looks to me like she's unstable. she's gonna be flyin' all over the ****in place dude. i mean, shit.. she did that while y'all were engaged what will happen when you actually get married?! don't come home to find her in bed with some other dude.

1. He reminds her of me.

bullshit

2. Hes very nice, kind, wise, and what ever the hell else.

bullshit

3. I drove her into his arms becuase i didnt comfort her that much and he was always there for her.

bullshit


If it was me, this is what I say to do:

Avoid her for a few weeks. Just.. completely get away from her. When she calls, say "Yo i gotta go I can't talk bye" and ALWAYS hang up before she hangs up. ALWAYS. Show her that she's NOT going to mess with your feelings, because they are NOT hers to mess with.

Now, considering this, you will get one out of several reactions:

A) She will begin to miss you and realize what it's like without you

B) She will realize that she's happier without you and won't call you anymore (i STRONGLY think that won't happen)

C) She will get offended and say "Why are you not talking to me?" at that point you say "Well I'm sorry but I've been busy lately" but do not mention anything else because that shows insecurity and defensiveness.




xx

good luck

[ianv3]

The 14 year old nailed it. Bravo.

[BandoMan]

I don't know. Completely avoiding her seems like running away from what needs to be done.

Don't let her go. Let her know that you love her, that you'll be there whenever she needs you. Let her know what she really means to you. If she'd rather be with someone new than you, there's nothing you can do to change that. I've been there. There's no convincing a girl when you've become old or tiresome. But, maybe, if you show her just how much she means to you, she'll realize what a great guy she almost threw away.

But that solely rests on whether or not you are this guy. Be who you really are, and do what you need to.

[Junket]

I will admit the 14 year old's got some good advice (I wonder where he got it) in any case, I still think he says '****' to much.

[ianv3]

Hhahhaa!

When we were 14 we did the same thing. Hell, he was probably playing with matches as he typed that.

[Clifton]

dont listen to bandoman, listen to the 14 year old.

[King Zarathu]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bandoman, the problem is, is that if you show to her that you are able to PROVIDE for her, then she will see you as a PROVIDER.

women go for independence and especially self-confidence.

**** ya


Btw - Frasbee, just cuz i can give better advice than you don't be sour hehe j/k

I wonder where he got it

I pulled it out of my ass

[Saba]

Well now that i got my head on more striaght thanks to the 14 year old, lol i find it ironic coming from him, but nevertheless thank you very much.... now what about gift idea's on x-mas and what the hell do i do on the 22nd. thas our month verssery and she doesnt want me to get her anything but i want her to know thatll im there for her.... I got idea's of my own but id like to know what other people would do too. thanks LTsK8eR2gO and thank you too bandoman becuase i belive you both are right.

[ianv3]

Don't get her a damn thing. Go out on the 22nd, do not contact her. Do not get her a christmas gift. Nothing, notta.

She knows how you feel for her, she doesn't need a gift as a reminder. If she gets you something, make her come give it to you, don't go to her for it. Upon receiving say "thank you", and then say you must go.

You think you feel bad, wow, just imagine how confused and lost she'd feel after that! More importantly, you'd probably be able to laugh the second she leaves after you tell her you have to go, "get out". Get some power back man.

[King Zarathu]

I totally agree. If you don't get her something she'll be chasing you like her life depended on it.


Heh.. most 14 year olds don't know psychology like I do