What does he want???!

[Lulu]

I met a WONDERFUL guy and we had an amazing connection. Unfortunately he was here for work and had to leave to go back home after only a month. We planned to visit but it never happened. He just stopped calling one day after I had a mini meltdown about when we might see each other again. It has been a little over three months since the calling stopped and five months since he left. He called me on Valentines Day and I avoided his calls but eventually caved and talked to him that night. He told me to visit and I said, "I learned that lesson, the lesson of you". He texts about every two weeks, saying things like "don't think for a minute that I am not thinking of you", "I think of you daily", sent me a photo of himself and I asked him if he wanted me to miss him and he gave me no response. Two weeks went by after that I he texted me randomly at six thirty on a Sunday morning saying that I "broke his heart a little when I told him I learned my lesson". I texted back saying, "you broke my heart when you let me go without a word, told me it was okay to have faith in you and I let myself (cause he promised he was coming back to visit). I just figured that you were seeing another girl and I didn't want you to feel alone so I didn't contest it. I care about you." Again- NO FREAKING RESPONSE! I texted later saying, "no words again? I don't like the silent treatment." cause he does the silent treatment when he is upset and he admits to not wanting to share his feelings because he is a MAN.... is he in love with me and conflicted or is he just looking for feedback, closure, WTF? He lives five states away so I can't be his back up girl.... I miss him and care about him. I just want to see him again. What should I do with this guy?

[Lulu]

Anybody??? I would appreciate ANY input here.

[HopeYouGetThis]

I think you should end it. You had your fun when he was in town, but it seems like that's going to be the extent of it. If I met a woman while I was traveling for work, and I knew I wanted to be with her; 5 states wouldn't hold me back from expressing my feelings and letting her know how much she meant to me. If I don't contact a female on a regular basis, it means I'm not really into her. It sounds like he likes the attention from you. Also, by him giving you the silent treatment and blaming it on him being a man, that sounds like BS. It seems like he's not very mature. In order for relationships to work, communication is key. Do you really want to be with a man that won't open up to you when you've angered him a bit? I think you should just move on, and be happy with whatever time you spent together and be done with it.

[violingirl]

Lulu, go back and read over what you wrote. You spent one month with the guy while he was in the area on business. One month isn't anywhere near long enough to get to know someone, even if you spent every single second with him. If he was really interested in you, he'd be polite and respectful, reply to your messages in a nice way, and initiate contact with you. He'd also make an effort to discuss his thoughts/feelings with you about having a relationship. It seems to me like he's not interested. Do you seriously want to continue to throw yourself at him and waste your time and energy? It's possible he is married or has someone back in his home state. You were probably just a fling. Move on and find a nice guy where you live.

[Lulu]

I am sure he isn't married. He told me originally that he was trying to remain "rational" since we live so far apart. Then, he starts calling me and getting emotional telling me he misses me and wants to visit. Finally about a month into that, he starts to get distant and I just told him that if he wasn't coming back, I wanted to know so that I could let go and move on. That is when he stopped calling. Just texts about every two weeks like clock work. I don't call him or text him first. He is the type that tries to remain logical but inside he is very sensitive and it is evident occasionally. I just keep hoping he will decide to throw caution to the wind and take a chance at having a long distance relationship. I am thinking of giving him an ultimatum- see me again or no contact. Is that going to make him want me or make him mad and think that I am a @#$%#?

[broken man]

married and unfaitthful to his wife......forget him....find some one who will treat you well and with respect.

[Lulu]

He IS NOT married! His boss told me so and we would talk for hours EVERY night for a month at any time. His boss volunteered that he was single long before we even went out on a date. I spoke with his family on the phone. I really just don't believe that in my heart.... I know it is an interesting thought but that is not the case.

[broken man]

ok no need to shout at me.........not that i care .....why am i even on this forum any way...........

[Lulu]

Tell me about it! Ha! I wonder that about myself too.... not shouting- just being adamant is all.

[Sixpacj]

I am sorry but:

"If he was really interested in you, he'd be polite and respectful, reply to your messages in a nice way, and initiate contact with you."- NO, he would mirror your level of investment, more or less. He would initiate once or twice, and then he would mirror your response.

"He'd also make an effort to discuss his thoughts/feelings with you about having a relationship". NO, he would not. You are projecting a female onto a male, I am sorry to say this, it never works.

[Lulu]

So what do you think? Do I still have a chance??? I was thinking of asking him to see me again the next time he randomly texts me, "don't think for one minute that I am not thinking about you". What you are saying is that because I am not texting him frequently, he is just sending texts randomly but may have intense feelings for me even so???Oh gosh- here I go again....

[broken man]

if this man likes you and is intreasted properly he would text you every 5 mins not every two weeks, i am a man i know what i would be doing and its not hiding away behind a mobile phone. he might not be married but i bet you he has a partner or and a family. ditch him you only live once dont waste precious time on a potential nightmare

[Lulu]

Just trying to get inside his head, I guess. I don't know what would possess him to act like this.