Why do guys cheat?

[SarahA]

If you dont want to be in the relationship, then LEAVE! SIMPLE!

[DarkHelmet82]

not every guy cheats.. I personally dont believe in it.. some peope are selfish and self centered... women cheat too.. its not just men

[VincenzoG91]

I agree. And the same logic applies to women who cheat. They should leave the old relationship before sleeping with the new guy.

[Looq]

Yes, I know substantially more cheating women that I do men. I'm not saying that's the general trend, only what I am familiar with. The two most common excuses seem to be:

"He was a wanker." or "I just hadn't got around to breaking up with yet." sometimes wit the addendum "We we're practically separated anyway."

I think there is no excuse to cheat. We are not animals, we are humans. We are more than sentient, we are sapient. That means we have more than just simple thoughts and impulses, we have higher thought. So use it and have some bloody self control for god's sake. If you want to have sex with someone else, then make sure you break up with your current partner first. If you don't want to break up, then don't ****ing have sex with someone else. It is demeaning to all those involved, which is why there is never a reason to do it, because there is always someone who gets demeaned that didn't deserve it; and even if they do deserve it, it doesn't mean you should. Show some morals.

[Bonfire]

If you dont want to be in the relationship, then LEAVE! SIMPLE!

That's not it. A simple answer to this is there are two types of girls in guys eyes. Some girls are relationship material and some girls are only good for sex. Guys won't leave a girl he likes for a girl he just want to bang.

I personally have never cheated and never will, not into the sleeping around spreading my seeds mentality.

[SarahA]

I agree with everything you said. If you was so in love with someone you wouldnt feel the need to cheat, if you loved that person so much you would dedicate yourself to them and not be fooled by temptation! Simple

[SarahA]

that's not it. A simple answer to this is there are two types of girls in guys eyes. Some girls are relationship material and some girls are only good for sex. Guys won't leave a girl he likes for a girl he just want to bang.

I personally have never cheated and never will, not into the sleeping around spreading my seeds mentality.

loooool woo i like that response!

[devonbrown]

Don't stereotype all men based on those that do cheat. And women cheat as well. But nothing is as simply as we would like to make it. Understanding why someone cheats is less important than understanding what your reaction is to it. Don't be willing to lower your own morals or standards for anyone.

Good luck.

[~Aetherius~]

Personally, I devised my own theory. I understand being unhappy in a relationship, and people cheat for many reasons. Some of them are just players, and may be very good actors at that so that the people being played have no idea and really, truly believe that the "player" is in love with them.

When it happens in a legitimate relationship, where both people love each other, it's usually a sign of some deeper problem. Maybe they aren't getting something they need from the relationship so they go find it elsewhere. Maybe they need validation that they are still attractive, which their spouse is not giving them so they seek it out by having sex with others, as though that's proof that they are indeed attractive and worthy. Maybe their spouse doesn't seem to have enough time for them or is expecting too much out of them.

I'm not saying that it's the spouse's fault in these situations, often we forget to appreciate what we have because we are so used to having it. But when a person cheats it's not always because they are a bad person or because they no longer love their spouse, it's sometimes because the relationship is having problems and they can't think of any better way to deal with the strong emotions this causes within them.

The problems can be fixed and the cheating can be stopped, or they can give up on the relationship and call it quits. Ultimately it boils down to respect and happiness. People tend to respond favorably to people who demand respect (not by being controlling, this often results in the opposite response, but instead by respecting themselves and being respectable). People tend to be happy when their spouse is happy (see my signature below). If there is unhappiness, it breeds itself. If there is disrespect, there is an opening for one person to take advantage of the other.

[hello1]

[QUOTE=Bonfire;691383]That's not it. A simple answer to this is there are two types of girls in guys eyes. Some girls are relationship material and some girls are only good for sex. Guys won't leave a girl he likes for a girl he just want to bang. [QUOTE]

You got a really good point there! I think a lot of guys who cheat feel this way. Thats why they do not leave the relationship

[~Aetherius~]

[QUOTE=Bonfire;691383]That's not it. A simple answer to this is there are two types of girls in guys eyes. Some girls are relationship material and some girls are only good for sex. Guys won't leave a girl he likes for a girl he just want to bang. [QUOTE]

This being the case, I don't understand why guys can't be honest about it and let the "only good for sex" girl know that it's a purely sexual relationship. Sure, her feelings will probably get hurt when he leaves her, but at least she was warned and knew what she was getting herself into.

I've been in relationships like this, I've told men that it was purely sexual, since I didn't have anyone special at the time and still wanted my fun and I think guys take it better than girls do. I've heard it a million times, that women equate sex to love whereas men equate sex to just sex (although I've heard from some men that sex with someone they love is better than sex just for fun).

But when it comes to committed, emotional relationships, such as long term marriages and whatnot, it's not because the girl was a "just for sex" girl, because the guy married her! And reversed, too, if the woman in the case is the cheater. Sometimes there is something wrong with the relationship that they aren't sure how to resolve so they cheat. Some need isn't getting met or they lack respect for their significant other (I've seen this happen when the significant other has low self-esteem or gets too clingy and obsessive as though they NEED that person to validate them self), or maybe any number of reasons.

It doesn't always mean that the cheater doesn't love his/her significant other anymore. It doesn't always mean that they were never in love to begin with.

Granted, when it comes to the less-committed relationships, before engagement and marriage, it's a bit more likely to be something like that.

That's why I think it's kinda dumb to be exclusive with someone until both parties mutually agree to make it committed. If you're exclusive, and you give that person your full attention without getting some sort of agreement that their full attention is on you, you're setting yourself up to be hurt because you've committed yourself but they are still free to roam as far as they're concerned.

[surfhb]

There's been several studies to indicate that the level of cheating among genders is about equal

[cheeky&sexy]

They want the best of both worlds and are selfish. A lot of people want the best of both worlds, may like other people aswell as their significant other, but they dont act on it cos theyre not just thinking about themselves and they have morals and self control.

[EmptyChurch]

I can't speak for all guys. But I can tell you why I am cheating...

I'm cheating because I'm in an almost sexless relationship, with a woman who cares more about smoking pot then her children or me.

The other woman is a godsend... She's really the only comofrt I have right now.

Why I don't leave... Because my long time girlfriend will use my kids against me. She is also violent. I'm afraid she would be even more violent if I wasn't there. Also, she would probably get custody because I am recovering from an injury and can't work right now.

Also, the girl I am cheating with is married. Her marriage is polyamorous, so she has permission to be with other people on the side. But even if I left my girlfriend, I couldn't really be with her.

[DolphJames1988]

Sorry, but I dont agree with cheating whatsoever, I have never cheated and never will. Whatever your situation I don't think cheating is the answer. If you're with someone, you want to be with them forever. You would do anything for them. Cheating is the worst thing that you can do. A relationship is about loving one another, being there for them, trust, loyalty and respect. Once you've cheated (it only takes one time). You're partner (assuming theyve found out) will have lost all the trust and respect they ever had for you. Building trust from scratch is a VERY difficult thing to do. So the simple answer is just not to cheat. If you're in a perfectly healthy relationship you wouldn't need to. Things may be going wrong. You might be angry, self conscious, paranoid, etc, but is it really worth cheating just for that one time, you will never get back!! Well that's my opinion anyway.,