Confused by love. Please help me shine light on this.

[acorn1]

Hi, thankyou for reading this and wanting to help.
October last year I began working with someone who was soon to mean alot to me. me and this girl began getting to know eachother and starting to enjoy eachothers company. everything was going great. she left work as it was a temp job but we keep in touch. we would go out in town with her friends, my friends, and also hang out alone just chatting and having fun. we started getting close and hugging and then the time came when we kissed and how much we wanted too! was great.
Just after christmas I went round to hers for the evening and we slept together for the 1st time. This carried on for a few weeks and we started getting close, going out for dinner and caring for eachother. It felt like he beggining of a relationship - we both felt this. Then...

In January news broke that her ex (bf of 4 years) had found someone else. She was very upset - I was quite surprised how hurt she was with this news. She told me how she felt about this and understood if I didn't want to see her. I told her of course I did and I wanted to be there for her because I cared. That night I went over with things (dvds, games, food) to take her mind off it all...it worked. This was the first time in days she had smiled or gotten outa bed even. I stayed that night till later the next day. I didn't expect or plan but again we slept together. I was looking after her and for the next couple weeks we carried on see eachother but moments of hurt would hit her about her ex.
One day I then heard she had kissed someone whilst out in town with her friends..this i couldnt believe and after a couple of days I called her asking if I could see her that weekend (she didn't know I knew about her kissing someone, but she had text me asking If everything was ok with me? feeling guilty?) I went round and just had another great night... again I stayed. I needed to know about this guy so before leaving I asked and explained that I had heard she kissed someone. She felt terrible.. she knew I was hurt. we went for a drive and she said I cant give me a relationship right know and she said goodbye. she was really hurt by her ex moving on and feeling was with me and not me. This broke me... news i didnt expect. I told her how I felt. I dropped her home then left. A few days after she was texting say how sorry she was and how much she cared and she never wanted to hurt me.
To all this I acted best I could and believed the news of her ex had shocked her and the times with me was all to much for her. I believe she needed time alone. I best thing I thought was to leave her alone. but I was hurting so bad and wanted to get back to how we were. I believe she just need time and space.

For just under 3 weeks I had no contact with her, I gave her space and hoped she would think of me. Within these three weeks little things started to happen. One of her friends (i never met) tried to add me on facebook. little things which gave me hope and thoughts she was actually thinking/talking about me.
Then one day she text me saying 'hey darling, hope you dont mind me texting you. I hope your ok, i miss talking to you. love xx'.
This made me very happy and didnt know quite what to do. Later that day I sent a friendly reply say 'how nice it was to her from her and I missed her company and hopefully that weekend I will see you out in town.' (good reply I thought?) she replied saying 'how happy she was I replied and that she would be out and hoped to see me and there would be no alkwardness between us.. just big hugs!' I was happy with this and I didn't reply.
That weekend I did see her, she had been out (a little drunk) and we bumped into eachother toward the end of the night. we said hello and just held each other and kissed and few times before we both headed home. Before leaving she asked why I didnt reply again to her text the night before and I said sorry but would you like me to call tomorrow, which she said yes please too. She later text when got home to say how happy she was to see me and said she missed me.
I didnt reply till early next day saying 'good morning, how nice it was to see her and talk later perhaps!' again she replied just saying how lovely was to see me. The whole day past till later that night I called her. I was nervous but ok. I decided to call her to congratulate her on a new job she just got and was starting the next day. (couldn't phone for no reason really!) she said again how she missed me and she thought I hated her cause I had not spoken in nearly 3 weeks after the breakup. However she was kind on the phone. I responded to her missing me but didn't crack and break out with feelings.. i wanted to stay strong.
Before hanging up, I wished her luck in her new job and asked her to call me to tell me how she gets on. (i want her to call me!)
Now...what happens now.. do I just leave her and hope she calls (i asked her to) how do you think she feels. Did I do the right thing in giving her space women? and could I get her back??
any advice i would love to have. Thankyou xxx

[everton11]

To be honest, this lady, with all due respect, is unsure of herself and probably don't really know what she wants! She is in a state of confusion, not knowing where her feeling lies. The fact that she gave you open ended love messages after the "break-up" (well, nothing really started in the first place...) suggested to me that she need assurance from guys, not just any guys, but guys who she like... You are included but definitely not exclusive.

If you can handle it (which I think any mature person should), stay in touch with her, be there when you want to hang out with her, but one thing must be made clear before you two start anything: Does she want to be with you or just don't want to be alone?

Everyone will go about this differently, but for me, I would rather spend my time and effort on something else for a while, like work and school, sports or just spending time hanging out with friends!