no replies all day, please help. T_T

[brynnbrynn]

Four years ago I met my friend B. After about a year of friendship I really started to like him. The thing is, four years ago I was afraid to be in a relationship with anyone so I didn't let myself completely fall for him. I knew he liked me, but neither of us ever told each other. After a few months I started to like his best friend, A. To be honest though it wasn't a huge crush, and I still liked B. That didn't stop me though. I completely fell in love with him anyway (at least i think so!). For the past three years A and I have been living together, and have been happy until recently. He's acts like an immature little boy and plays video games all the time. He doesn't hug me or kiss me anymore, or tells me he loves me. I don't feel the love from him anymore, despite my efforts to get it out of him. We have been to counseling for our relationship, but it as also failed. He doesn't want to end our relationship, and I'm too scared to do it. Anyway, B is still around and we see him all the time, which is where my problem starts. All that is on my mind these days is, "Why did I turn away from him? Why was I so scared to be with him but not with A?? Have these last three years with A been nothing but a way to cover up my feelings for B?" I am starting to fall for him again and I feel that I can't help it. I am so lost lately and it's starting to effect me at work. I ended up crying in the bathroom last week after A and B came in, and B came up and talked to me instead of A. Stupid I know, but it was just a reminder of all of this crap. I don't know what to do. I don't feel like A cares for me anymore. Also, I have been getting the feeling that B is starting to like me again too. We haven't flirted, but we have been talking more than usual and he's been extra nice to me too. Maybe it's because he sees how A has been ignoring me and he feels bad? What ever it is, it's not helping how I'm feeling. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? What did you do? Any advice for me? I'm so tired of feeling this way.

[devonbrown]

Sounds like B is simply being a good friend since he sees you are having troubles with A. Nothing more. So don't use B as an excuse about your relationship with A.
Also, you originally thought that your liking A was not even a big crush and yet you still started dating him... for 3 years?

Forget about B. He is just a friend and has always been. You don't even know if he ever liked you because he never said he did. As for A, you have relationship issues with him, the same way that everyone does in a relationship. Talk to him about it. Communicate with him. And don't mention your feelings for B to him, because they seem to be just a defense mechanism for you to deal with the fact that you and A are having troubles.

Good luck.

[Bonfire]

I can tell you what's going on. You did sorta like B back then but you like A more and fell in love with A. That's the reason you pick A when you could have pick B back then. But after 3 yrs, A is getting lazy in the relationship. He is used to having you around so he doesn't put in effort to show you love. You feel you have lost what you two shared. You have emotional needs that isn't being met by A. And now you are looking at B for those needs. No you are not with A all those years because you secretly wanted B. That's your mind trying to convince yourself to leave A for B now. But you know that's not what it is, so you are confused. All you wanted is really A to love you like he used to. But A is not willing to put in the effort no more. A probably don't think you will ever leave him so he doesn't see it as serious enough or maybe he doesn't care. B probably has feelings for you but knowing you are A's gf, he doesn't act on it. He cares for the both of you so he does what a friend does and gives you comfort. B is that nice guys girls always put aside. A is the type that girls always pick. In most cases, the story ends the same. The girl eventually works enough courage to leave A. She tries a new relationship but she still isn't over A. Then A gets back on his feet and wants the girl back. And she dumps her current boyfriend and goes back to A. Then the process starts over again. In the meantime, B is watching from the sideline, he didn't get involve with the girl out of respect for his bestfriend. The real tragedy of the story is had the girl picked B from the start, her life would be very different, maybe they would be madly in love and happily married in the future. Who knows? Thinking like this is pointless,time can't change, we can only look forward.